Page 35 of Wicked

Manny wraps his arms tightly around me and squeezes me so hard I can’t breathe. “You are absolutely perfect. Thank you.”

“Would they be full red wolf shifter?” I ask.

“If you’re up for that. We couldn’t live in New York City. It wouldn’t be safe. But… it’s been twelve years since I was rescued from the pits, so if I sired kids, they’d be teens now. Or almost.”

Oh. Manny probably already has biological children. That must be so hard.

“They’ve started genetically testing the kids at the sanctuary,” he says. “I haven’t gotten my bloodwork done, but… maybe I could?” he says like he needs permission from me.

“Then you would know, right? It might be healing to know. Even if none of them are yours.”

He nods. “I didn’t want to know before. I figured any kid I sired would be better off at the compound. It’s different now that they’d be older.”

It’s hard to imagine thinking any child would be better off at the compound, but I hold my tongue. Manny doesn’t need to hear that from me. If we’re going to be together, I need to find a way to respect his beliefs, and understanding how he views life on the red wolf shifter compounds is a part of that.

“I know what it’s like to be raised by someone other than my parents,” I say. “I lived with my grandma growing up. My omega dad was an addict. Gran said he really tried at first. He got clean when he found out he was pregnant, and he stayed through most of my first year, but then he was gone.”

“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”

I rest my head back on his shoulder. “Yeah. When I was little, I thought about him a lot, even though Gran was great. No matter what she did, she could never be him, you know? My alpha dad never even tried to be a part of my life. Gran said he and my omega dad were fated mates, but they weren’t good for each other.”

Sometimes Fate isn’t kind. At least She gave me Manny.

“My parents were… strict. Which was good. I had a happy childhood, and I know they did their best to do right by me when I was younger. But a lot of the guys tried to return to their families after we were rescued from the pits, and I… well, I didn’t bother. I knew they wouldn’t want me back.”

My heart breaks for him. It’s always hard to be rejected by a parent, but at least I know my omega dad’s brain was ravaged by addiction by the time I came around. Manny’s rejection seems much more personal. I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to move past a rejection like that.

There are so many layers to Manny’s situation. I wonder if anyone has loved him the way he deserves as an adult or if he clings to his religion because being on the compound was the last time he felt valued and cared for.

“I want you,” I say. “I want you very, very much, and I’m not going anywhere.”

His eyes fill with tears. “Okay, I want you too.”

The connection I feel to Manny in this moment is quieter than the electricity of our first meeting, and that’s perfect because I don’t believe fate is enough. If you want a healthy relationship with someone, at some point you have to choose them.

I choose Manny, and I know with utter certainty that he’s chosen me.

11

Manny

We play for an hour before we both reluctantly agree it’s time to visit Buddy.

“Just for a little while,” Candlewick promises, giving me a quick kiss. “I want to make sure Buddy is okay.”

I walk behind him as we leave Lester’s apartment and head for the elevator. Now I can look at any part of his body, and I don’t have to feel guilty. I stare at his tattoo, his butt, and his long legs. For the first time today, I feel a twinge of insecurity. Candlewick is perfect. At some point, we’re going to move past playing board games and become physical with each other. A warlock can fix my inability to bond, but Anne isn’t going to pay for a spell to make my dick bigger. How will Candlewick react when he sees me?

He turns to me when he gets to the elevator and holds out his hand. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.”

In the pits I had methods of pleasing the omegas, so before I show him myself, I’ll just explain that I can satisfy him, despite my size. Maybe not the same way that other alphas could, but I can still make him feel good.

Will that be enough for a man like Candlewick who’s had plenty of lovers? Or will he wish he isn’t tied to someone like me for the rest of his life?

We ride the elevator down and find a different person than Elise manning the front desk in the lobby. She nods to us professionally as we leave the building.

“How are we going to get there? By dragon or taxi?” Candlewick jokes.