Page 53 of Real

Einar wanted to connect to me with his light. Maybe that would help me connect with Antonio. Also, I’m curious.

“I could guess, but there’s no way for me to know for sure. I have a bachelor’s degree in medical imaging from NYU. I had to go to school for four years to learn how the human face changes with surgery.”

I didn’t know there were specific degrees Illusors could get.

Antonio stands up and tilts his head to get a good look at me. “Do you want an overlay illusion or a separated illusion?”

I stare back at him blankly.

“Do you want me to lay the illusion on top of your face or create a separate image of you?”

Einar mentioned that some Illusors let clients touch their light. I had assumed that would be sex work. I guess that isn’t always true.

“A separate image,” I say. The sensation of touching Einar’s light was frighteningly intimate.

Streams of light flow from Antonio’s fingertips. Unlike Einar, the amount of light coming from Antonio is very controlled and structured. He isn’t releasing the light with flair; he’s doing it with precision.

The light gathers in coils right next to me at the foot of the bed. Slowly, a replica of my shoes, legs, and torso form from those coils. This illusion is different from the grand forest Astrid created or the cozy cabin where I snuggled with Timothy. There was a bit of fantasy to those images. An airiness to them, even. The image Antonio is creating of me looks so solid, I’d never guess there wasn’t a person sitting next to me.

When Antonio forms my arms, the skin has light, short hairs and faint green veins in the crook of the elbows. My human fingers have more lines and thicker knuckles. I get so preoccupied with all the details I fail to notice the coils above my imaginary shoulders until I’m staring back into my own eyes.

Antonio’s human version of my face doesn’t look all that different from the plastic one. The human skin is more uneven, and I have a ghost of facial hair along my jawline, but overall, someone probably couldn’t tell us apart from far enough away.

I can’t help but feel a little disappointed. I’d always thought a human version of myself would be better—worthy.

“Is there any way you could show this illusion in court tomorrow? I have this hearing—”

Antonio lets the illusion next to me fade. “Illusors aren’t allowed in court. It’s illegal for me to create an illusion without the documented consent of everyone in the room anyway.”

That seems like an unnecessary paranoia. I suppose Skatt warned everyone was afraid of Illusors. I don’t understand why.

I think their light is beautiful.

“Do you know what happens to a skatt who never takes their human form?” I ask.

“If you aren’t attracted to me, we can find someone else for you—”

“I think you’re very handsome, Antonio. It’s just… there’s a man who thinks he owns me. He won’t be happy if I become human.”

“Then fuck him,” Antonio says. “We’ll protect you.”

I give him a sad smile. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Ever since I stepped foot in the Den of Dreams, everyone has been kind to me. I’ve never experienced anything like that before. I represent something to them—something precious. What they don’t understand is that they are far more precious than a single skatten min.

The urge to protect them surges within me, and it feels good. Up until now I’ve been cooking, cleaning, and hiding in a closet. That never felt like enough. I wanted more. At the time, I thought I wanted friends or even a lover. Maybe I did. But more than all of that, I think I wanted a purpose.

I’m not even nervous as I stand, knowing what I have to do. Dorian Gray is a cruel, horrible man who will lash out at anyone he thinks has wronged him. Even if that person is innocent. Especially then.

My whole life he’s treated me like I wasn’t capable of defending myself. If what Skatt is saying about me is true, he was wrong. Dorian kept me from a destiny that had absolutely nothing to do with him. I’m not going to let him do that a second longer.

“Do you have access to a car?” I ask.

Antonio considers me for a moment before he says, “Yes.”

“Will you drive me somewhere? Or… could I drive the car myself?” That’s a skill the Lights planted in my mind long ago. Little did I know it was because they knew I’d need it. I could have driven off Dorian’s property ages ago if I’d really wanted to. I just didn’t realize that there were people waiting for me.

“Where do you want to go, skatten min?” Antonio asks.

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