Page 64 of Real

Candlewick swallows hard. “It would seem so.”

Timothy joins Manny in front of the oven. The two of them whisper to each other while Manny flips the pancakes and puts more bread in the toaster. I’m a little disappointed Timothy is talking to Manny instead of me, but what was I expecting?

I can’t become human unless I bond to an Illusor. What we shared yesterday meant everything to me, but it’s not like he’s going to want a relationship with a plastic doll.

“You want some coffee, Bud? I know it makes you all jittery, but I think you’re adorable when you talk fast,” Candlewick says, pointedly ignoring Manny.

“Okay, sure.” I could use a bit of energy after two nights of very little sleep.

Candlewick walks over to the cupboard next to the oven, subtly brushing against Manny as he pulls a coffee mug down for me. Manny stops talking midsentence and stares at where their hips briefly touched.

Manny is definitely not immune to Candlewick’s charms. The spatula in his hand trembles when he flips the pancakes.

That isn’t surprising. Alphas like Candlewick. The more interesting thing is the way Candlewick sneaks a peek at Manny’s face while he pours my coffee. Candlewick’s told me a million times that he’ll never let an alpha close to his heart again. Why is he interested in Manny? If Manny’s threadbare clothing is anything to go by, he doesn’t have any money. And he doesn’t look anything like the big, rich guys from the photos Candlewick showed me of his previous lovers. Manny is kind of scrawny for an alpha.

At least Candlewick isn’t interested in Timothy. I don’t know what I’d do if the two of them started flirting.

Candlewick hands me a mug of steaming black coffee. “How did things go at the Den of Dreams? Can you… become human?”

I nod.

“Seriously? How?”

“I, uh, have to bond to an Illusor,” I say.

Candlewick glances over at Timothy. “But I thought… He smelled like your slick yesterday when he came to visit me at the jail.”

“Yeah, but he’s muzzled. He can’t bond to me, so he can’t…” I stop. He can’t what? Make me human?

A niggling voice in the back of my mind wonders if that even matters. Antonio and Einar are great guys. I could probably find a way to be happy with them. But for what? A body made of flesh and blood?

A body that will someday die just like Dorian’s?

Or maybe it isn’t the dying that bothers me. It’s the idea that I was made for Dorian or the Illusors. That means I’m intended for their use. Last night that felt like a purpose. This morning it feels… different.

“Bud, you don’t need to become flesh and blood if you don’t want to,” Candlewick says.

“If I don’t, the law will always see me as a thing, not a person.”

Candlewick shrugs. “Then the law’s wrong. The law’s wrong about a lot of stuff. I’m not saying you shouldn’t ride off into the sunset with some hot Illusor alpha if you want to. But don’t love a man because you think he’ll make you a real person. Believe me, I’ve tried that. It doesn’t work.”

“The Illusors said I’m a gift from the Lights. That’s their deity. They get one of us every generation, and we’re supposed to be some kind of indestructible protector or something. Dorian messed with the spell so he could create his perfect mate, and it all got messed up. So I have to go back to them and fulfill my divine purpose or whatever.” I sound far too nonchalant about the whole thing, even to myself. I wonder why. The Illusors are wonderful. I loved seeing their magic and meeting an entire group of people who treated me with compassion and respect.

Maybe I’m so lovesick for Timothy, I’m not thinking clearly.

“You don’t have to do anything,” Candlewick says.

“But it’s my destiny—”

“Don’t confuse destiny with slavery. Destiny is something you fulfill on your own terms. Slavery is what you had with Dorian. Don’t trade in one master for another.”

I had no idea he felt that way about my situation. “Do you think it was that bad?”

He gives me a sad smile. “Yeah, I do. Give yourself some time to figure stuff out, okay? It would probably be good to stick around here for a while until the dust settles. I got a call from Dorian’s lawyer a few minutes ago. He’ll be coming over to go over Dorian’s assets with a ‘Mr. Doll Gray.’”

“What?”

Candlewick’s eyes sparkle. “That’s all he said. Maybe Dorian’s lawyer is looking for a next of kin to give Dorian’s enormous fortune to.”

---