Page 65 of Sixty Days Of Summer

I look away, staring across the room. “I can’t go there, man. I can’t relive all that shit again, even if it means she’ll finally shut the fuck up.”

“Okay,” he replies, his expression shifting to something serious. “I need to ask you something, and I want you to be straight with me, Ace. No bullshit.”

I glance back at him, curiosity creeping in about where this is going. Our conversations lately have shifted from the usual bullshit to more serious, grown-up topics. Guess that’s what happens when you get older—things get deeper. Or maybe it’s because Xander’s got Poppy and Alex now, letting his guard down a bit. But now I can’t shake the feeling that he’s about to probe into this thing with Scarlet. Even without him saying a word, that thought has me shifting uncomfortably.

“Scarlet,” he says. “Why the hell couldn’t you stay away from her when I asked you to, Ace?” He leans over and takes the joint from my fingers.

I direct my gaze to the floor, the weight of his question pressing down on me. How the hell do I explain this magnetic pull I feel whenever she’s around? I don’t even know where to start, but he asked for the truth, and that’s what I’m going to give him.

Finally, I look up and meet his gaze. “I don’t know why. Every time I tried, I just couldn’t put any distance between us.”

He nods, studying me closely. “Seriously, man, do you actually enjoy being around her? Like, beyond just the physical stuff. I mean, can you just chill and talk, or is it all about the sex?”

“Fuck, what is this, twenty questions?” I shoot back, trying to lighten the mood. But honestly, I’m baffled about why the hell he’s digging into this. We never talk about shit like this.

“Just humor me, Ace,” he replies, passing me the joint.

“Yeah, with her it’s more than just fucking around,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “We actually sit and talk about stuff—shit I’ve never shared with anyone before.”

With a smirk on his face, he leans back on the couch, making me feel stupid for laying out all that mushy crap. Shaking his head, he mutters, “Fuck.”

“What?” I ask.

“I’ve been there, Ace,” he says, a nostalgic look creeping into his eyes. “Those confusing-as-shit thoughts you’re dealing with, wondering why the fuck you can’t just walk away from her like you’ve done with every other chick you’ve hooked up with. It’s as confusing as shit right now, isn’t it? And let me tell you, it doesn’t go away.”

He’s right—it’s confusing as hell. I don’t have a clue where this conversation is going, so I stay quiet and let him keep talking.

“Remember that night we ditched school and crashed at your place, working on those last three songs?” Xander says.

“Yeah.” A smile creeps onto my face as the memory hits me, crystal clear. That night, we dreamed about escaping that shit hole of a town—our last taste of freedom, where we were just kids chasing the life we wanted so badly. We even made plans with the cash I’d lifted from my mother’s dickhead boyfriends. But after that night, a few days later, Xander was never the same. I take another drag from the joint.

“Those nights I tried to stay away from Poppy, she was all I could think about. Didn’t realize it back then, but I was in love with her,” he says. “I fought it hard, Ace. I fought it like hell because it didn’t sit right with me. To feel like that when I’d never given a shit about anyone else before.” He pauses to gauge my reaction. “I spoke with Poppy last night and told her everything that’s been going on. She thinks it might be more than what I’m seeing. That your feelings for Scarlet might be genuine, even if you don’t know it yet.”

I choke on the smoke in my lungs. No way he’s thinking this has anything to do with that love bullshit everyone keeps talking about. I cough again, trying to clear my throat. “Forget sharing any of this shit with Poppy—this isn’t some love shit.” I watch him flash that smug smirk. “And don’t you two have better things to talk about than me?”

He laughs out loud, and for the first time since he arrived, it feels like the old Xander—the one who makes everything seem a little less heavy. “Trust me, we’ve got way better shit to talk about than your ugly ass. I was just venting about what’s been bugging me.”

Hearing that he shares stuff like that with Poppy doesn’t surprise me; I’ve seen how they are together. She calms Xander down, and he turns into a different person around her. I’m different around Scarlet, too—not at all like I am with the guys. Maybe there’s something to what he’s saying, but I’m still not buying into this love crap.

“How’s Theo been with you lately?” I ask, trying to shift the subject.

“Still quiet. Doesn’t say much,” Xander replies.

“I’m sorry, man. I never meant to come between you guys.”

“He’ll come around.”

“You know, he used to drive me nuts with his bullshit. And if you tell him this, I’ll deny it faster than you can blink—butI actually miss that fucker.” I pause, staring off into space as I reflect on the mess I’ve made. “I’ve got no fucking clue how to fix things with Nate and Theo,” I admit, frustration lacing my words. “How do I make them see that I’d never treat their sister like some fucking groupie?”

“Trust me, I get it,” Xander replies. “I could never talk to you about that stuff either. It’s tough. All you can do is show up. Stop avoiding them.”

My phone buzzes, jolting me out of my relaxed state. I hand the joint to Xander and get up to see what the notification is about. It’s a text from Kit.

Kit:Hey, where r u?

Ace:In my room. Why?

Kit:Stay there. I’m on my way.

---