Page 99 of Five Summers

“No, I haven’t,” I lie, not revealing that I’ve actually seen the headlines about the trouble Xander has been getting into lately.

“Well, Xander has been spiraling out of control recently,” Ace remarks.

“And what does this have to do with me?”

"I'd say more than you think, considering what I just saw," Ace says.

Confused by his cryptic statement, I choose to remain silent, observing him as he reaches for his beer and takes a sip. His intense gaze meets mine as he peers over the rim of his glass, leaving me to ponder whether I should just walk away.

“We’re on the verge of losing everything,” Ace says, putting his glass back on the bar. “With the way Xander is at the moment, it’s likely that we’ll never get signed by another label again if we lose that.”

“Well, that’s not my problem. Take it up with Xander.”

“We have, but he won’t listen to us. But he did it for you,” Ace says. “You prevented a disaster from unfolding. There’s no way he would have listened to either of us. He would have completely lost his shitand caused another issue for the label.”

“Well, I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, but you did, Poppy. Xander was on the verge of exploding at his father. I think you might know what went on with his dad.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Back then earlier, he wouldn’t listen to me or Reg when we tried to calm him down. I can’t reach him anymore. And Reg and I were discussing...” He shifts his focus to Reg, leaving the conversation unfinished.

Reg and Ace hold each other’s gaze for a moment, something passing between them like each one is waiting for the other one to tell me what this bright idea is. Finally, Ace speaks.

“That you help out until Xander gets his shit together.”

“No way,” I add, raising my palms in a defensive gesture and taking a few cautious steps back. I had no intention of being a part of this preposterous plan. How could I possibly be around Xander, considering the immense pain I still harbor? I have deliberately shut my heart off because of him, from the possibility of ever opening it up again. Subjecting myself to the constant proximity of him would only inflict more agony than I ever wished to endure. Going back to that level of hurt was simply out of the question. And there is no way I want to see him with all those other women, who he’s constantly photographed with.

“You can name your price, Poppy. No matter the cost, it’s all yours,” Ace declares.

The thought of Ace just casually throwing money at me and expecting me to give in annoys me. I wasn’t some gold digger lacking morals. “No, please stop. This isn’t going to happen. Trust me. Xander and I aren’t friends anymore.”

“Just say you’ll think about it.”

“No. I can’t I’m sorry.”

“I’m not aware of the details regarding your situation with Xander, but I believe you understand that this has always been our shared dream, Poppy. Xander’s actions are jeopardizing his own dreams, as well as those of the other band members.”

I didn’t want to hear any of it. At least Xander had achieved his dreams. He wasn’t the one living day by day, struggling to make ends meet. I had texted him numerous times, informing him that I was pregnant after that one time he called and never said a single word to me. He even ignored the texts that I sent telling him he had a son, and his name was Alexander, but hedidn't even acknowledge it. So no, I didn’t give a fuck if Xander was having a hard time dealing with all the fame and money.

“Stop asking Ace. There is no way I can do what you’re asking me to do.”

Ace shoots Reg a look as if silently instructing him to say something. “You’re not interested in helping, huh?” He turns his attention back to me.

“You're observant. What gave it away?” I add with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

“Most bands don’t have the kind of talent that these four boys possess. It would be a shame to see it all go to waste because of one band member who can’t seem to get their shit together. Xander continuously drags his name through the tabloids, going from one scandal to another. He has never shown any remorse for his actions. He’s always high and couldn’t care less about who he hurts or what he does.”

“It’s true Poppy," says Ace. "Tonight, I saw a different side of Xander. He was eager to listen to what you had to say. Maybe you don’t see it, but right there I saw the significant impact you had on him.”

“Again, I’m not interested."

“I’m sure you know back before we left how much Xander needs his music,” Ace adds. “I’m pretty sure you know that without it, he won’t survive. It’s a part of who he is.”

Hearing those words, I remember the deep pain Xander felt when he appeared on my doorstep the night his father destroyed his mother’s guitar. I witnessed his shattered state, as he felt completely lost without his music. That night, I saw the broken boy who believed he had lost everything and how his music instantly soothed him once he held my father’s guitar in his hands. I hate myself for caring about how he will feel if he loses his music. Especially after everything he has done to me, and to Alex.

“Name the amount, Poppy. I don’t care how much it is. It’s yours if you want it.” Ace adds.

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