Page 92 of Five Summers

I burst out laughing because I knew he would react that way.

“Have you changed your mind about the event?” Ace asks.

For the past few months, the subject has been a sensitive issue between Ace and me. The label owner Lionel and the mayor of the messed up town I grew up in are cousins. In a show of gratitude, the town wanted to commemorate the accomplishments of the two golden boys who had found success. Where were they when I was growing up in a fucked up home and looked down upon my entire damn life? It’s because they want to highlight how fucking amazing that shitty town is. That’s another thing that pisses me off, is that people only notice us now because of who we have become.

“I not fucking doing it, Ace. I can't stand that place.”

“Yeah, I know, I'm the same, but you know it's gonna cause problems if you're not there.”

“I don’t fucking care.”

“Xander, what you choose impacts the rest of us. We’ve already had management on our backs about the crap you do.”

“So. I’m not going back there, Ace. They couldn’t give a shit about us when we fucking lived there, so why now?”

“Xander, do us all a favor and don't resist it. We'll only have to show up for a couple of hours at most. Don't start any trouble. Come on, do it for the rest of your band and avoid the drama.”

I turn my head and observe his expression. I know he's worried about us losing the contract, and when I go against the label, I stress him out. Ace is the glue, keeping us together, and I know I've made things tough for him in the past five years. But I’m annoyed with him because he never listens. He only cares about the label, and that's been causing some problems in the band. I really want us to be like we were before, when we could share everything. If I go along with what he wants, maybe things will start to shift between us.

"Fine," I add, giving in. “But if my fucked-up excuse for a father shows up, I'm gone.”

"Deal," Ace says with a grin, clearly relieved that I'm not causing any problems.

I only agree, so hopefully I can fix things between Ace and me, and also I know it's unlikely to run into Poppy Reeves after five years. She's moved on and is probably happy with someone else. She was just as eager as me to leave that shitty place and follow her dreams. I haven't had the courage to see how she's doing, afraid she might hate me now - see me like everyone else, as worthless and insignificant. But all these years I've always wondered if she had the guts to go after her dream or if her mom kept calling the shots.

Ace opens the door to the backstage party room and I'm right behind him.

As we step inside, we're greeted by a bunch of stunning groupies. Nate and Theo already have their tattooed arms wrapped around a voluptuous brunette who wears a satisfied smile on her face, clearly ready to indulge in their pleasure. Nate leans in, whispering something into the groupie’s ear, and she nods in agreement. They guide her towards the door at theback of the room. These guys are ready to get down to business, just like me. We just wanna savor the high energy from our performance for as long as we can.

Ace, being his usual grumpy self, is acting out of character tonight, obviously on the prowl looking to get laid. He throws his arms out and shouts.

“Okay, ladies,” he shouts, halting in the center of the room. “Who’s up for a party?”

The groupies squeal and rush into his welcoming embrace. They're all vying for his attention, pushing and shoving. Little do they know, Ace thrives on adoration, so those who are willing to worship him will be the chosen ones. He once confided in me the more groupies at once, the better. He gets a thrill watching girl-on-girl action, and his devoted followers will go to great lengths to please their idol.

Personally, I’m not interested in that scene.

Instead, I immediately head towards the alluring blonde who is standing at the side of the room, quietly observing all the groupies vying for Ace’s attention. Even though I know she won't measure up to what I had before, I can't resist approaching this blonde. But, history has shown me they always end up being the same. Their voice feels off, their touch feels wrong, and their scent is unfamiliar. It’s like I keep punishing myself, going through the same cycle over and over. It’s like that insane line I’ve heard countless times, but I can’t seem to break free from this pattern.

On my way over, I quickly grab a full bottle of Jack from the table. Tonight, all I want is to escape into a haze of smoke and alcohol, numbing myself to the touch of this blonde groupie. However, deep down, I yearn to slip back into my usual routine of imagining the soft touch of Poppy against my skin.

Without saying a word, I take her hand and lead her to the door Nate and Theo went through. I don't give a damnthat management is coming soon and there's only one band member left to entertain the guests. All I desire is to return to the hotel room, get wasted, and let this girl satisfy me, so I can temporarily forget who I am for the night.

Chapter thirty-five

Poppy

As soon as little Alex starts coughing in his sleep, I lift my head to look at him. It has been four days since he first fell ill. Thankfully, the medicine has made him slightly better today. As he drifts off to sleep, I focus on the pile of bills in front of me.

Rent is due soon, and the other overdue bills are starting to accumulate. These past four days of missed work and docked pay have made it even more challenging for me to stay on top of these expenses. However, my son’s well-being is my top priority, above everything else in the world. My love for him surpasses all other things in this world.

As I calculate the numbers in my head, I realize that I won’t be able to cover all the overdue bills. Unfortunately, I can’t skip work tonight, especially because this event is a huge deal for therestaurant I work at and I really need the money. But if I don't show up, I'll definitely get fired.

Ideally, I had hoped to call in sick because I can’t be there when Broken Oasis receives a town recognition for their success. It’s going to be really difficult for me to handle seeing Xander again at the special event tonight. I honestly have no desire to see that prick, especially considering the fact that he has completely ignored me for the past five years. Despite my many attempts to reach out and inform him about his son, he has deliberately changed his phone number or something to avoid any contact with me.

I reach for my wallet and glance at the notes inside. There’s no way I can afford to dye my hair darker, hoping Xander won’t recognize me. Maybe he'll have a swarm of adoring groupies around him, just like the ones I've seen in those glossy celebrity magazines. He probably won't even spare a glance in my direction. No doubt he’ll simply brush me aside and ignore me, just like he did when we were younger. Nevertheless, despite still harboring anger towards him and myself for letting things unfold the way they did, I cannot be upset about what he left behind. I cherish my son and am grateful for the precious gift Xander gave me to remember him by.

As I glance around the room, I can’t help but wonder if there’s anything I can sell. Last year, when I was struggling to keep up with the bills, I had no choice but to part with my beloved keyboard. It was an incredibly heartbreaking experience for me. I remember crying my eyes out for an entire week over that loss. I guess I could've sold my guitar, the one I used to jam with my dad, but instead, I'm selling his vinyl collection to keep us afloat. If things don't turn around soon, I'll have nothing to remember my dad by.

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