Page 89 of Five Summers

“Oh, come here, my child.”

I approach her slowly, tears streaming down my face. In that rare moment, I find solace in the warmth of my mother's comforting embrace as tears flow uncontrollably.

Chapter thirty-two

Xander

Every Sunday night, Nate and Theo throw a party, just like they’ve been doing since the day we met them.

Although I wouldn’t necessarily call it a full-blown party. It’s mostly just the two of them, Ace, me, and a few adventurous girls who are up for anything.

I’m currently lounging on the couch, taking sips from a bottle of Jack and indulging in a joint while Ace happily entertains himself with two girls on the nearby couch.

Nate and Theo are huddled together in a dimly lit corner of the room, with a girl squeezed between them. They always prefer to share a girl rather than going solo, and it’s surprising to seehow much the girls seem to enjoy it based on the noises they make.

There’s a blonde next to me on the couch, rubbing my cock through my jeans, trying to get me aroused, but it’s not working. Once again, my cock is a no-show for the party.

Taking a sip of whisky and inhaling from my joint, I close my eyes and focus on her touch as she strokes my cock. Maybe if I could just fuck someone else, then maybe I could move on from this fucked up mess in my head. Although her touch doesn’t turn me on, the feeling of her hand on my cock is pleasant and soothing. Not at all like Poppy, who was on a whole other level. Just being in her presence got me so damn horny, and when she touched me, I went fucking wild. I feel my dick thicken, coming to life just at the thought of the things we did. Maybe I'll give this chick beside me a shot. It might help me get back on track and finally move on from Poppy. Leaning my head back against the couch, I surrender to the soothing sensations of her touch.

“You like that,” she whispers, sensing my arousal.

“Shh, don’t speak,” I respond, not wanting her to ruin the moment for my dick down there to realize it’s not who he thinks it is.

“Want me to suck your dick?”

“No,” I firmly tell her. “Now shut the fuck up.”

No chance I can let some girl give me head when I can't even handle a simple hookup without freaking out. But one day, I'll be my old self again. I just need a bit of time. But nothing and no one will ever compare to the mind-blowing blowjobs Poppy used to give me. Just thinking about her lips on my cock gets me rock hard. But this girl next to me stroking my cock seems to think it’s because of her. She shifts and I feel her getting closer, her tits touching my arm. I crack one eye open, wondering what the fuck she is doing, only to realize she’s going in for a kiss.

What the fuck does she think she’s playing at? I quickly turn my head to avoid her lips, but they unexpectedly land on the side of my face. Anger overwhelms me, and I forcefully push her away.

“What the fuck are you doing?” I yell, causing her to fall to the floor, landing on her ass.

As I rise from the couch, anger courses through me as I cast my gaze upon her. It’s unbelievable that this girl would even dare to kiss me. I simply have no desire for any more hookups that involve kissing.

On the couch opposite, Ace leans forward, his eyes sweeping the room before coming back to me. The two girls seated on either side of him pause briefly, intrigued by my actions.

Breaking the silence, Ace speaks up. “What’s the problem?”

The girl who had just moments ago been stroking my cock suddenly stands up and glares at me, clearly annoyed.

“Wow, I can’t believe I was going to fuck you, you jerk,” she snaps.

She stomps across the room and sits down next to her friend on the couch beside Ace. Honestly, I couldn’t care less. Let him have her. I’m not bothered. She was never the right fit for me, anyway. Sure, she may have been blonde, but something just didn’t feel right about her. Even my dick could tell, because I had to close my eyes and picture someone else just to get turned on.

"Chill out, man," Ace says, coming over to me with his boner poking out, and the three girls on the couch all look at me.

“Fuck it, I’m done,” I announce, making a beeline for the exit. I quickly grab my jacket but decide against putting it on, unwilling to let go of the whiskey bottle and the joint. All I crave right now is to escape this place. I thought I was getting better, but that text from Poppy earlier today has sent me spiraling back into despair. All I want tonight is to get high and momentarily escape from the problems of this world.

For weeks now, Ace has been determined to get me laid. He’s introduced me to several chicks, and there have been many opportunities to hook up at the parties organized by Nate and Theo. However, I just haven’t been able to bring myself to take part. Even tonight, when that girl started messing around with my cock, I knew she was a sure thing, but I wasn’t into it. I wish I could go back to the days when I could fuck anyone before Poppy entered my life. I just wanna get laid and be done with it, but it’s proving to be a challenge. Poppy’s presence still lingers in my thoughts. I can recall the feeling of her body under my touch, her unique scent, the sounds she made, and how I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her beautiful face when she came on my cock.

Even the noises coming from the chick Nate and Theo had over in the corner were messing with my head. There's no way I could hang around and be reminded of what I left behind. It's just too painful.

Making my way downstairs to the ground floor, I navigate through a crowd of people who are passed out or completely wasted. Since I arrived, I’ve been intentionally ignoring a girl who has been giving me flirty looks, clearly showing her interest in hooking up. She’s a gothic chick, the type of person I usually find intriguing and could have a wild time with. However, even that no longer holds any appeal for me.

Tonight, as a gentle coolness fills the air, I pause to slip on my jacket. I flip up the collar, determined to shield myself from the cold. With a purposeful stride, I make my way toward my secluded sanctuary - the refuge I seek when I need to be alone with my thoughts.

I settle on the hill, ready to immerse myself in the soothing embrace of alcohol, hoping it will ease the weight of my sorrow.

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