Page 83 of Five Summers

“Screw you,” I hiss and turn away.

It’s only now that I’ve realized my love for her, even though I’ve never expressed it. But is that truly enough in the harsh reality of life? I used to believe it was enough for my parents, but just look at how that shit turned out. Years of love disappearedin an instant, replaced by hate. Ace’s parents faced a similar fate. I couldn’t bear it if Poppy ended up hating me like that. I don't want her to see me like everyone else. I can't give her a good life yet, not until I make it. Once that happens, she'll see that I'm not the loser everyone thinks I am. She'll eventually see that I'm good enough for her.

Using the back of my hand, I gently wipe away a stray tear that rolls down my face. If I choose to stay in this shitty town, I know that resisting her will be nearly impossible. The magnetic pull between us is simply too strong. Over the past few months, she has had a profound impact on me, to the extent that I yearn for her presence. I ache to hear her infectious laughter, her clever remarks. I crave the beautiful sounds of her moans when I pleasure her body. I long to engage in conversation, to share the same breath, to become a part of her world. She means everything to me. She is everything I could ever want, and more. But once she sees me through the lens her mother predicts and perceives the same judgment of others, I fear I won’t be able to bear it when she decides to walk out of my life.

I must leave immediately. I must create some distance between Poppy and myself. Whether or not Ace comes with me, I don't care, I need to leave. I cannot stay here any longer. The magnetic pull Poppy has on me is overpowering. I have to give her the freedom to live her own life, to discover her own path. Once I have accomplished my goals, I'll come back for her. That's when I'll be worthy of her.

When I arrive home, I forcefully push open the front door and then slam it shut, allowing the tears to stream down my face. The pain in my chest is excruciating as if someone has mercilessly scooped out my heart with a spoon.

I quickly pull out my phone from my pocket and text Ace.

Xander: Got to get out of this fucking town right now. You in, or am I going without you?

In just a few seconds, my phone screen lights up. Ace is calling me.

“What the fuck is going on?” Ace says.

“I’m done with this, man. It’s a simple question. You in or out.”

“Did your dad give you trouble again?”

“Just answer the damn question, Ace. In or out?”

“But I thought we were going to wait-”

“Plans change.” I cut him off.

“Just tell me what the fuck happened, man.”

“Don't sweat it. I'll pick up my guitar and head out on my own.”

“I’m coming with you asshole. It’s our dream.”

“What are you doing now?” I ask, pacing the room. I kick an empty whisky bottle across the floor.

“Nothing. Just at school.”

“I’ll meet you at your place within the hour,” I inform him.

“I’ll swing by and pick you up. You at home?”

“Yeah, I’ll start walking.”

“Okay. See ya soon.” He hangs up the call.

Heading to my room, I gather all my belongings, hastily stuffing clothes, guitar picks, and notebooks filled with years’ worth of lyrics. Stepping out onto the street, I start walking towards Ace’s house, knowing he’ll come from that direction. I never once glance back at Poppy’s house as I continue along the street. It's killing me that I'm walking away from her without saying goodbye or even letting her know I'm going.

Lost in my thoughts, I barely register Ace’s car pulling up beside me. The scent of exhaust fumes hangs in the air as I navigate my way to the passenger’s side. I open the door and settle into the well-worn leather seat, keeping my bag on my lap.

“Care to fill me in on what went down?” he asks, eyeing me.

“No.”

“Is it something to do with Poppy?" he asks, watching me while I keep staring out the front windscreen.

“No, and I’ve already fucking told you a hundred times she's not my girlfriend. She isn’t my type.”

I can't even look at him, because he'll see right through me.

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