Page 81 of Five Summers

“Well, you’re not to see that boy anymore. You hear me.”

“You can’t stop me.” I get up from my seat, ready to leave the room.

“Oh yes I can, you’re only seventeen.”

“I’m eighteen in two weeks. And then, I’m free to do whatever I want.”

“While you’re under this roof, you will do as I say. Are we clear?”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to live here anymore,” I add. The thought of losing Xander in a matter of weeks was already distressing, but the notion of not being able to see him before he left was inconceivable. Furthermore, even after he left, I stillwanted to keep in contact with him to hear about his new life and how things were progressing for him.

“Do you understand what I am saying, or do I need to make that call?”

I fight the urge to scream at her. “Yes, I understand. I will stay away from him.”

I maintain a poker face to prevent revealing my lie. The mere thought of being apart from Xander is unfathomable. The impending end of school fills me with dread, knowing that his departure will shatter my heart. However, for now, I cherish having him in my life, despite the possibility that he might forget me once he achieves his fame. Until then, for the next five weeks, until he departs, we can secretly continue this friendship/relationship without getting caught. We just have to exercise extreme caution to avoid getting caught, like we did this morning.

“Poppy, can you guarantee you won't break your promise? I can always swing by during work hours to make sure you're keeping your word.”

Drawing on my personal experiences over the years, I knew that she wouldn’t simply drop by to check on me. Her work schedule lacks flexibility, making it difficult for her to leave whenever she wants. In my younger years, I often longed for her presence at my school events, but she couldn’t leave work. So, why should this occasion be any different?

“Yes, Mom. I will stay away.”

My comment brings a smile to her face, yet beneath the surface, I feel a twinge of shame for deceiving her. As she nods, I can't help but feel the weight of guilt as her blue eyes remain fixed on mine. But I knew the guilt would fade because Xander would be leaving soon, leaving my lie hidden.

“Can I go now?” I ask.

“I hate to say it, but you've disappointed me, Poppy,” she sighs sadly.

I don't respond because I'm sure she'll totally see through me, see my lies.

“Hurry up and get to school,” she says.

“I just need to quickly shower before I go,” I explain, leaving her alone in the room.

Thank God, going to school suddenly seems like the best option to avoid her never-ending interrogation. She can't help herself. She always jumps on the bandwagon about something. But at least this way, I can still hang out with Xander, even if we don't really have conversations at school.

Chapter twenty-eight

Xander

What the fuck did I just do? The atmosphere in that room was so fucking tense, filled with the bitter scent of anger and disappointment. I made the mistake of leaving Poppy there alone to deal with her unpredictable mother, whose voice cut through the air like shattered glass.

I should have quietly slipped away last night while Poppy was sleeping, but my mind was clouded. All I wanted was a little more time with her, and in my intoxicated state, I must have dozed off. Instead of staying and facing the consequences, I did what I always do - I run when things get tough. Now, the weight of regret hangs over me like a suffocating cloak, knowing thatI abandoned Poppy to handle everything alone. I should've just stuck around and dealt with the anger.

I’ve been pacing back and forth for the past half hour, contemplating whether I should go back and confess to her mother that it was my fault. I’m the one who initiated everything with Poppy. But how the fuck can I confess that I was the one who influenced her daughter to engage in those actions? And now, it has transformed into something else, something that stirs deep emotions.

Feeling frustrated, I kick one of the many whisky bottles strewn across the floor. When I got home this morning, my dad had already left for work, so I didn't have to worry about him being here. It never ceases to amaze me how he miraculously manages to pull himself together to head off to work.

Making my way towards the front door, I pull it open, knowing I need to go over there and have a conversation with her mother. It’s crucial for her to know that things aren’t what she thinks. I can already anticipate the things going through her mind, as people always assume the worst about me. Maybe it’s because of my appearance or the fact that I usually don’t care about anything or anyone. I must admit, I used to be that person, but now, I genuinely care about Poppy. How the fuck am I supposed to tell her any of this? I’ve never encountered a situation like this before, and honestly, I have no idea how to handle it.

Feeling the nerves coiling in my stomach, I gather my courage and make my way down to Poppy's house. The look her mom gave me this morning lingers in my mind. It made me feel worthless, like a hopeless case, as if I shouldn’t even exist in this world. That look brought back so many memories of the insults my dad has thrown at me over the years, weakening my defenses even further. Is this how life will always be, or is it just the people in this shitty town who perceive me this way? But this time,I’m determined to prove to Poppy’s mother that I am something more, someone who won’t simply walk away. She needs to know that I care about her daughter and that this is not just a casual hookup like she probably believes.

Last night, while I watched Poppy sleeping, I made up my mind to invite her to come along when we leave. I’m tired of hiding everything and, honestly, I couldn’t care less about Ace’s opinion because Poppy is my everything.

With a lump in my throat, I summon the courage to approach the house. My objective is to ease any worries Poppy’s mother may have and reassure her that Poppy holds immense importance in my life. I must convey that I would never take advantage of her or harm her in any way. I know exactly how parents see me when I’m near their daughters.

I lift my head to glance at Poppy’s house and catch sight of her mom glaring at me through the front window. Nervously, I gulp and mentally brace myself for whatever awaits me. Her intense stare adds an unexpected challenge to this task. With my hands securely tucked into my pockets, I cautiously take a step forward. As I make my way down the front path, she vanishes from view.

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