Page 150 of Five Summers

“Do you know where Xander is?” Theo asks, with a hint of concern in his voice.

They all take a seat on the couch, their eyes fixed on me as I resume my pacing.

“Poppy,” Nate says, his voice causing me to stop and meet his eyes. “Tell us what happened?”

I take a deep breath and blow it out through my cheeks.

“Well… I’m not sure what Xander has shared with you all about... us. But he found out that...” I pause and bite my fingernail, unsure how to come out and tell them the next bit. Maybe if I just show them. I move across to get my phone, knowing that as soon as I show them a photo of Alex they will know.

I can feel their eyes on me as I walk over to the bed and retrieve my phone. I swipe through a few images to find a close up of Alex. I stare at it for a moment, my heart melting with love for my little boy. I see Xander's dark eyes, his familiar smile, and his thick, dark hair.

I turn my phone around, letting Ace see the screen. His gaze shifts downward, eyes focused on the photo before him. His expression changes in an instant as a flicker of realization crosses his face.

“Fuck,” he says, snatching the phone from my hand and studying it.

“What?” Theo asks, leaning into Ace so he can see what’s on the screen. “Holy fuck,” Theo looks up at me.

“I honestly thought he knew,” I tell them. “I texted him all those years ago, but he threw his phone in the lake and never got them.”

“What’s happening?” Nate says, looking at Theo.

As Ace passes him the phone, I observe the moment when Nate connects the dots.

Ace's phone rings and he quickly reaches into his pocket to silence it, declining the call.

“I honestly thought he knew,” I repeat, not wanting to be judged by them.

“He didn’t know, Poppy,” Ace says. “I promise you, he did not know. If he did, he would’ve been there. He once said if he ever had a kid, he would never be an asshole like his father. That he'd love his kid just like his mom loved him.”

I move over and sit on the edge of the bed, unsure how to process that information. Tears come to my eyes at the thought that if he had known, he would have been there. I tell myself I should have tried harder, but that little voice of reason chimes in to remind me there was no way I could have let him knowbecause I didn’t have his new number. Plus, I didn’t know he had thrown his phone in the lake.

“Tell me, Spitfire, what went down when you told him?” Theo asks.

“He had no clue what I was talking about at first. He was shocked, then he got pissed and just walked out without saying anything.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Xander,” Ace says.

Ace’s phone rings again, and this time he answers it.

“Yeah. Reg, just go. We’ll meet you there.” A pause. “I don’t fucking know. Just leave a car, and we’ll be there soon.” He ends the call. “We need to go.” Ace gets up from the couch.

“What if he doesn’t show up for sound check?” I ask.

“We can still do it without him. Theo thinks he can sing, so if he’s not there, Theo gets his chance to show us,” Nate says, coming towards me. “How are you holding up in all of this? Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I tell him, tears coming to my eyes, and I hate that I am showing so much vulnerability in front of them.

“It will be fine, Poppy,” Nate says, pulling me in for a comforting hug. “Things will work out. Trust me. We all know Xander needs time to process things. It’s just how he is. He takes off so he can work shit out.” He pulls back to look at me. “Come on, you’re not staying here alone. You’re coming to sound check.”

“I don’t know,” I add, wondering if I should even go, especially if Xander is pissed and doesn’t want to see me. Plus I didn’t want to be on the brunt of Reg’s fury if Xander didn’t turn up. Because I know I’ll say something I can’t take back. “But what if Xander doesn't want to see me and I'm there during sound check?”

“Yeah, right,” Theo spits out with a laugh.

I turn to look at him, unsure if he’s being sarcastic or if he’s just messing with me like he does with everyone else.

Ace holds the door open and glances back over his shoulder. “Come on Poppy. If Xander’s there, he’ll probably want to see you.”

I scoot over, grab my handbag, and join Ace as we exit the room, with Nate and Theo close on our heels.

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