Page 76 of Five Summers

“Stay the fuck away from me,” he shouts in a loud and intimidating tone, causing everyone nearby to stop and stare.

Ace places his hand on Xander’s shoulder, attempting to calm him. Meanwhile, Jade stands up from the ground, straightens her dress, and turns, clearly embarrassed. I must admit, while everyone watches her walk away from Xander, I can’t help but rejoice inwardly. That nasty bitch is getting what she deserves. Finally, she's humiliated in front of everyone.

Jade shoots a look my way, and I respond with a smug smirk. Right before she averts her gaze, she flips me off. People turn their heads towards me, but I couldn’t care less because Xander didn’t want her after all.

As soon as the bell rings, I swiftly pick up my bag from the ground and make my way to my first class.

Xander completely ignores me during the first two lessons, and then he disappears. Ace is gone too. Maybe they bailed on school and went somewhere else. Nevertheless, I constantly check my phone like some pathetic girl, eagerly waiting for a text from him. All I want is for this day to be over so that I can confront him about what’s going on when he comes by later at seven like he always does.

It’s already nine o’clock at night and there’s still no sign of Xander, I’ve reached my limit. I can’t take it anymore. I grab my phone and send him a text.

Poppy: What the fuck is happening?

I try to concentrate on the TV, trying to get into my favorite show. There’s so much I need to catch Xander up on about this episode.

But my eyes keep shifting back to my phone. I see the message bubbles appear and then disappear, but I wait in vain for a text that never comes. What the hell? I’m tempted to march over to his place and demand to know why he’s ghosting me. But the fear of running into his drunken father terrifies me. I’ve seen the constant bruises on Xander from his father’s unprovoked attacks. It breaks my heart to see how he’s treated. No one should ever endure that kind of abuse. It’s no wonder he struggles with self-esteem and why it hurts him so much when his father calls him worthless. I know deep down that Xander’s drive to be famous stems from his father’s lifelong criticism. However, I hope that someday, when he achieves his dreams, he realizes he was always something special.

I lift my head and attempt to concentrate on the show, but again it’s no use. Other thoughts occupy my mind.

At the stroke of ten, a sinking feeling settles within me, acknowledging that Xander won't be showing up at the house, nor will he be answering my text. With a heavy heart, I head to bed, feeling let down.

Chapter twenty-six

Xander

It’s been one day of trying to ignore her, but she’s the only thing on my mind. For the past few months, we’ve been fucking like rabbits, all over her house - the kitchen bench top, the couch, her bathroom shower, even in the backyard during another downpour. That memory is permanently etched in my mind, and whenever I think about it, it still arouses me.

During lunch today, all I wanted was a break from school and the drama that comes with girls like Jade, who constantly want to hook up. It’s been over three months since I last fucked any of them, yet they keep coming back.

Ace could sense that something was bothering me, but I couldn’t confide in him. I can’t admit that every time I’m with Poppy, the sex intensifies, and the pleasure keeps escalating. I just love how I can explore every inch of her body and bring her to a point where she screams my name, genuinely, unlike those other girls who fake all their orgasms. It just keeps getting hotter and hotter. Like everything else, she surpasses everyone I’ve been with before.

Last night, when she screamed my name as I bit down on her shoulder, I couldn’t hold back, and I blew my release inside her. I yearn to keep fucking her over and over again. However, the predicament lies in the fact that my black heart is starting to feel something deeper for her. It’s more than just physical satisfaction now. And that’s something I can’t allow. I can’t risk jeopardizing everything Ace and I have worked so hard for.

Ace and I made a pact years ago, promising that nothing would come before our dreams.

Lately, I can tell that Ace has noticed a change in me. He hasn’t said anything directly, but I can see him observing me, wondering why I’ve been quiet at times, much like I was today. Maybe that’s why he suggested skipping the second half of school and heading straight to practice. It’s the only place where I can clear my mind and escape the thoughts racing through my head.

As we played music and added the final touches to the song I finished writing the other day, I tried my best not to think about her. But it’s difficult when, deep down, I know that the songs I’ve been writing are about her. I never even realized it until today, not even when I sang her part of the song all those months ago when we first started fooling around.

I set my guitar aside and make my way over to the couch, taking a seat next to Ace. He’s just lit a joint, which I promptly take from his mouth. As I inhale, a light-headed feeling washesover me. After another drag, I pass it back to him, blowing the smoke out of my mouth.

“I’ve been scouring the internet for affordable apartments, and it looks like there are a few we can rent,” Ace says.

“I don’t have much money, just seventy dollars,” I admit, realizing now that maybe I should have found a job instead of wasting time with Poppy. If I had, I wouldn’t be feeling the way I do.

He hands me the joint, and I bring it up to my mouth.

“I’ve got around two grand,” Ace says.

When I hear the amount he has saved, I cough and choke on the smoke in my lungs. “Two grand,” I say, coughing again, handing him back the joint. “How the fuck did you manage to save that much?”

“You remember that old asshole bikie wannabe dickhead? Whenever he left, he always left a few dollars on the table for my mother, as if she was some kind of whore. Once I realized what he was doing, I’d wait until that fuckhead was gone, then sneak inside and take a few bills from the pile.”

“And your mom never found out?”

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “She was always too fucking high to notice. So, when we find a place, we should have enough for rent for a few weeks and by then we’ll find some paying gigs. We just need to find a drummer and a bass guitarist when we get there.”

“And what if we can’t find them?” I ask.