Page 2 of Five Summers

So what if I’m not wafer-thin? It just means I don’t follow the crowd. But when it comes to feeling vulnerable, I'm just like any other girl my age, worried about my body, my flaws, and all that stuff. It really hurts my self-esteem when girls, who are more beautiful than me, mock my size.

Every morning, I feel an overwhelming sense of dread as I prepare to go to school. My hate for Eastern High runs deep. Each cruel taunt feels like a bullet piercing my protective shield.

To mask my vulnerability, I adopt a defensive attitude. My words become my weapon, carefully aimed at inflicting the same amount of pain that they have caused me.

I know that this is not the right approach. However, it is the only way I know how to cope.

The bus comes to a halt, and a crowd forms a line, eager to board the bus.

Meanwhile, I still have half a block left to run. I push myself harder, even though I’m already gasping for air. God. I need to get in shape, or perhaps I should cut back on eating those chocolate drops I love so much. Nah, not gonna happen.

As the last person boards the bus, I quickly step on just before the doors close. My heart’s going crazy and I’m breathing weird. Bent forward, with my hands on my knees, I suck in great gulps of air.

The bus driver floors the accelerator and pulls away from the curb. The force of gravity propels me forward, causing me to fall to my knees. My hand automatically shoots out to stop me from falling. The echoes of mocking laughter linger in my ears, then followed by their snide remarks.

Fucking bus driver. I bet the asshole did that on purpose.

And then it suddenly dawns on me: my hand is on someone’s leg. Scratch that, my hand is on their upper thigh. Whew, that was a close call. An inch higher and I’d be touching his cock. Immediately, I retract my hand and lift my gaze. Oh fuck. Of course, it had to be him.

Xander fucking Williams. The absolute heartthrob and self-declared bad boy of the school, with those stunning dark brown eyes that make all the girls go gaga and, uh, you know, feel a little tingly down there. His cocky grin sends a shiver down my spine, making my throat tighten. The smile that always gets him what he wants. It’s no secret that he has hooked up with nearly every girl in our school. It's common knowledge that he's all about casual hook-ups and not into relationships. Oh, and don't forget, he's apparently not into kissing. He basically fucks them and then moves on to the next conquest. Except for Jade and Savannah, who he hooks up with all the time.

But let’s be honest. Jade and Savannah are easy and will gladly ride anything that comes their way.

Despite Xander’s habit of jumping from one hook-up to another, I have to admit I feel kinda stupid sometimes when I catch myself daydreaming about him.

I like to daydream about all the dirty things I'd want him to do to me if he were mine. It’s stupid, I know. Curvy girls like medon’t stand a chance with a hot guy like him. Yeah, but a girl can still dream, right?

Feeling flustered and shaking the idea of Xander out of my head, I stand. A rush of heat creeps up my cheeks as I pull on the bottom of my blouse, tugging it down so no one can see.

Jealousy hits me hard when I see who’s sitting next to Xander. Jade fucking Wilson. My sworn enemy. Also known as an easy fuck. And enjoys giving blowjobs when requested.

And let's not forget, she's the meanest bitch in the school, at least according to me. Her cruel words cut me to the core.

She’s drop-dead gorgeous and adored by everyone. All girls desire to look as beautiful as she does. However, she is fully aware of all of it—the way people gaze at her and follow her trends. The way guys go after her, totally hooked on her oral abilities. Well, that's my opinion. Why else would they hang around with such a bitch?

However, what truly bothers me is the fact that Xander occasionally spends time with her. She must be really good at it, because why else would Xander be hanging out with her for more than a day? That’s just not his pattern.

I know. I know. You’ve probably already figured it out. I have a strong fascination with Xander Williams. However, let me assure you, it doesn’t make me some kind of creepy stalker. I mean, who can resist the charm of admiring something so beautiful? And let’s be honest, every girl has a weakness for a bad boy.

Xander has been a neighbor of mine for as long as I can remember, living just two doors down. I have to confess, sometimes I hear him strumming his guitar. Sometimes I leave my window open and pretend he's serenading me. I am a bit of a sad sack at times. He is completely unaware of my existence. But not anymore. From now on, he'll know me as the chick who tried to touch his package on the bus.

“Just sit down, you fat cow!” Jade yells, her gaze fixed on me as if I were nothing more than trash. “Everyone here hates you.”

“Yeah, I guess I’m not as popular as your mouth,” I add, as I move to the only available seat on the bus.

Thank God, I'll have my car back tomorrow afternoon. I’m done with these idiots and their bullshit.

I take a quick look out the window, but my focus shifts back to Xander Williams. He’s rocking his usual black attire, looking like he’s living his best life. To the outside world, Xander appears to have everything. He’s got the looks, and he’s on the path to success. It's obvious he should be on stage with his musical talent.

But living two doors down from him, I know it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. I hear the loud arguing. I hear his dad, who is drunk all the time, tell Xander he’s just a useless piece of shit. It’s just the two of them living in that house. When I hear his dad spit those words, I often wonder what happened to Xander’s mum. Did she walk out and leave him to deal with his intoxicated father all alone?

Having observed Xander over the years, I believe I have a deeper understanding of him than anyone else. Xander's all about being alone unless he's out looking for some action.

Ace is his only friend. They both love music and have a rebellious side. I’ve seen how they size people up whenever they approach. Both making it clear that if you fuck with them, there will be trouble.

As I watch him, I notice Jade leaning in closer to talk to him. Ignoring her, Xander shoves his earbuds into his ears and redirects his attention to his music. I can’t help but grin. It seems that I’m not the only one who finds her annoying.

The second the bus pulls up out the front of the school, I eagerly race to be the first one to get off. Hiding in classrooms is typically my preferred method for making it through the day. Orfind a quiet place to sit on the school grounds where I can read my Kindle and discreetly watch the hottest boy in school.

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