Page 177 of Five Summers

“Good girl,” I say, pulling out of her. Leaning in, I kiss her, tasting myself. “You’re fucking perfect. I love the way you suck my cock.” Rising from the bed, I wrap my arm around her, helping her up from her knees. I lead her towards the bathroom, ready to indulge in another session with my filthy princess.

Chapter sixty-seven

Poppy

Although I’m feeling sore between my legs after a long and wild night with Xander, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I can tell you, that man sure knows how to please a woman. Although walking is uncomfortable, I know I’ll long for his gentle touch tonight as he lies across from me in the narrow bunk bed.

I’m pretty sure Xander could tell I was feeling down last night because of my mother constantly interfering and her belief that she knows what’s best for me in my life. I know Xander could sense it by how quiet I had been on our way to the hotel. When he surprised me by going back to Walter’s restaurant to grab a burger, I couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. It’s incredible how, despite being apart for so many years, Xanderhas become so in tune with my emotions. He used to have a sense of when I felt insecure or experienced similar emotions, but now it feels as though he can almost read my thoughts. He understands me on a deeper level than I ever thought possible.

The countdown is on. With just a little over a week left before Xander, and I fly home so he can meet our son, I’m filled with excitement to see my little boy again. The ache of missing him is so intense that it feels like a part of my heart remains in the States. Xander and I have spent countless hours discussing every detail of our future together, a future that I thought would never happen.

The idea of sharing our lives as a family and moving into Xander’s house fills me with immense joy. It’s the life I’ve always dreamed of - the three of us together. However, as the years passed and Alex’s birthdays came and went with no acknowledgment from Xander, it felt distant and unattainable.

My doubts grew even stronger when I came across tabloid images of Xander with models and actresses. But after spending five and a half weeks with the band, I know the truth. Reg would manipulate Xander like a canvas, painting vivid stories to generate media buzz about the band. Now I realize how foolish I was to question Xander’s love for me. All these years, his love for me has remained unwavering. The way he interacts with our son further solidifies my belief that we are on the path to creating a strong and loving family.

Yesterday evening, Xander informed the band that he will be flying back home after their final concert in Brisbane. He explained to them that Kit has organized a flight for us to head back to the States and reassured them he would be back in time for sound check in New Zealand.

I was stressing about how the band would react to their frontman’s absence, especially as they start their tour in aforeign country. They were super excited for Xander to see his son.

I really like the guys in the band. Surprisingly, all the guys have a newfound sense of joy now that Reg is no longer around. I can’t help but laugh at the way Ace’s annoyance grows as Theo continues his mischievous antics. Nate is such a sweetheart, with his kind and caring nature.

Just last night, I had the pleasure of observing Nate in the green room. He was engaged in a conversation with a young boy, who was merely nine years old, accompanied by his parents. The sheer excitement radiating from the boy at the opportunity to meet his idol, Nate, was truly overwhelming. My heart swelled with warmth as the boy shared his dream of emulating Nate, confidently stating that he could flawlessly match Nate’s beat to all of his songs. But the most heartwarming moment occurred when Nate handed the young boy his drumsticks. The pure joy and happiness emanating from that little boy nearly brought tears to my eyes.

As the guys gather in our hotel room to work on the specifics and rehearse one of Xander’s new songs, I text Kit and invite her for a drink. Kit, along with Neil, are always up for a drink.

Catching up with Neil and Kit they tell me about rumors going around about Reg. It seems that Lionel told Kit that Ace was in charge of the band until he found a new manager. And that every request from the band is to be fulfilled. It seems like Lionel is taking the boys seriously. I suppose he would, especially when the label’s main money maker is on the verge of leaving.

Neil revealed to me today that witnessing Xander’s connection with his son has served as a source of inspiration for him to forge a similar bond with his own son. He asked Kit for assistance in locating his son, hoping to reconnect with him. Despite knowing it might be too late, Neil remains hopeful.However, he’s concerned that his son may reject him, especially since his stepdad has played a large part in raising him.

Kit also informed me that once the band is done in Australia, Lionel instructed her to book Reg on the earliest flight back, which happens to be the same one Xander and I will be on. However, there’s a catch - the label will cover the cost of our tickets, but they insist on Xander and me flying first class, leaving poor Reg to endure the cramped seats of economy. Right now, Reg has no idea, and Kit will probably have to handle his complaints when he finds out about the seating.

Standing in the left wing of the stage, the powerful sound of the crowd’s thunderous roar fills the air and sends shivers down my spine. As Xander commands the stage, the energy in the air becomes palpable, buzzing with eager anticipation. The way he effortlessly connects with the eighty thousand people here is truly mind-blowing.

Singing in front of people always makes me feel anxious, but for Xander, it’s as if he was born to do this. Back in our teenage days, I could picture him singing in front of thousands of people, and now, witnessing him on this stage, there is no way I would allow him to sacrifice any of this for us.

As another song reaches its end, I watch him take deep breaths, his gaze sweeping over the crowd. He makes his way across the stage, where Nate sits behind his drum set, eagerly waiting for Xander’s cue. Xander takes a drink before returning to the microphone. I’ve memorized the band's set list and there are only two more songs left before the climactic final performance.

In the past, hearing him sing it would stir a hint of sadness. However, now it symbolizes so much more. It’s true what he says. It’s our song. Despite the fans claiming it as theirs, it will always be ours. It’s the thread that connects us in our special way.

Casting a glance my way, Xander flashes that sexy smirk.

A hush falls over the crowd as eighty thousand individuals collectively hold their breath. With eager anticipation, we all wait to see what he’s about to say.

“We have a new song to share with you,” he announces.

The crowd’s excitement reverberates with a deafening crescendo, filling the air with a powerful roar. The moment Xander raises his arms, the crowd grows quiet as they hang onto his every word.

“This song is special to me because I wrote it during a really hard time in my life. I felt the absence of someone special. So, this song goes out to anyone who's felt the heartbreak of losing the most important thing in their life.”

The crowd erupts in cheers, and the stadium is bathed in the glow of thousands of phones as Xander turns his head and signals to Ace. Ace effortlessly glides his fingers over the strings, creating a tender melody that gains momentum as Nate and Theo join in.

Throughout the entire song, Xander keeps glancing at me, his gaze lingering, before turning back to the crowd to continue singing. The song is so powerful and moving, evoking a sense of sadness and emotion. It undoubtedly captures the moments and feelings he experienced when he left all those years ago.

As I listen to the lyrics, tears start flowing down my cheeks because of the songs raw and vulnerable nature. It feels as if he has truly let his guard down. The moment the song ends, the crowd erupts into a thunderous chorus of cheers, the sheer force of the sound vibrating through my entire being.

Standing with a smile, Xander extends his hands, immersing himself in the atmosphere. He turns his head to his bandmates, all of them sporting smiles as they soak up the energy from the crowd. This is their essence, what they thriveon - being seen as godlike, living out their dreams of reigning supreme in the music industry.

I am in awe as I observe them. That broken boy from the past, the one who resorted to stealing chocolate bars to survive, has undoubtedly made it, just as I always knew he would.

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