Page 130 of Five Summers

“Yes, Sir,” Neil says, acknowledging my request with a nod.

I continue walking past him and navigate my way through the park. Retrieving my phone from my pocket, I swiftly check the time. It’s getting late, much later than I had initially planned to be out.

Chapter fifty

Poppy

In the aftermath of that lingering kiss, I find it difficult to maintain eye contact with Xander the following day. Yet, I can feel his presence close by.

Reluctantly, I join the band at sound check the next day, even though I can’t understand why I have to go. But Reg made a big deal about it. So here I am. Sitting in the stands of the venue, I am completely captivated by Xander’s powerful voice as he sings. The band’s undeniable collective talent and captivating stage presence are evident, but my focus remains unwaveringly on Xander throughout it all.

As he belts out their greatest hit, the very song he sang to me on that unforgettable night on the rock, my tears threaten to spill. A whirlwind of emotions and memories wash over me,transporting me back to the carefree moments we once shared. The way he opened up to me, sharing personal things, I believe only Ace was aware of.

How did we go from that profound connection to our current predicament? My longing for him intensifies even more after our recent kiss, and I struggle to suppress this overpowering attraction. These feelings for him have been with me since I was fourteen, and I cannot simply switch them off because of what has happened between us. I just need to get better at not letting him see how I really feel.

Kit takes a seat beside me, her eyes captivated by the band as they deliver another powerful song.

“This is why they’re the best,” she comments, turning her head and smiling. As soon as her eyes meet mine, her smile falters. “Are you alright?” she asks, lightly rubbing my arm.

“Yeah,” I sniffle, swiping a finger under my eye to stop a stray tear from falling. “Just memories.”

“I’ve heard some rumors about you and Xander having a past. Well, that’s what people are saying. It’s nothing scandalous, if that’s what you were expecting. It’s just this rumor going around that you and Xander were involved, and apparently, he hasn’t been the same since you two broke up.”

I can’t help but burst into laughter at how ridiculous these speculations are.

Kit smiles at me and asks, “So, I take it there’s absolutely no truth to those rumors?”

“No, not at all.” I quickly reply.

The song comes to an end and we redirect our attention back to the stage.

Xander walks over to the half stage where Nate’s drums are placed, picking up the half-empty bottle of water. After chugging it down, he grabs a stool and returns to the microphone, but not before he gives a look in my direction.

Kit settles back in her seat, getting comfortable as if she plans to stay for a while. “I absolutely adore the way he sings this song.”

As the music begins, my throat tightens upon hearing the opening notes, especially when Xander’s eyes shift toward me, and he starts singing the first line of Creep.

He keeps eye contact with me the whole time during the first verse.

The rush of emotions overwhelms me as I recall all the times we sang that song together. I remember that day on the street when he first spoke to me, and the time we performed it on the rock for his mother’s birthday. There were countless other moments in my room when he would grab my guitar and play it. It’s all too much, these intense memories flooding back. I have to leave before I completely break down and he realizes the power he still has over me.

In one swift motion, I snatch my bag and get to my feet, fully prepared to make a quick exit.

Just then, Kit’s voice pierces through the music, shouting from behind, “Where are you going?”

With tears welling up, I press on, navigating through the rows of seats, my pace quickening as I make my way towards the exit, a sense of urgency propelling me forward.

Xander’s eyes track my every step, intensifying my awareness of his gaze. Despite knowing that the band’s sign-off song was coming, hearing it live, and locking eyes with him as he sings it, brings back the memories I cannot brush aside.

Out of nowhere, the song comes to an abrupt halt, causing me to quickly turn my head in Xander’s direction. He gets up from the stool and makes his way towards the side of the stage.

Oh my god. That’s the last thing I wanted to happen.

In a hurry, I rush into the large foyer, ready to bury my head in shame. I can’t understand why I ever thought I could handleany of this. I should be back home with my son, not here, where every memory painfully tugs at my heart. Maybe I should just go find Ace and confess that I can’t bear this any longer because it’s too agonizing. I'm freaking out because I don't know where I'm going, and I can't believe I messed up sound check.

As I turn the corner, I abruptly halt upon seeing Reg. He's on his phone, but we lock eyes when he sees me there. His gaze narrows, studying me as he comes forward. I quickly turn, discreetly wiping away the tears streaming down my face. I can’t afford to let him witness my vulnerability; undoubtedly, things will take a turn for the worse once he discovers that I’ve ruined sound check. It’s just one more issue to add to the lengthy list of problems he has with me. It’s only been three days, yet I already feel like I’m crumbling from within.

"We need to discuss what happened last night," he tells me as he ends the call.

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