Page 103 of Five Summers

Poppy

As I drive back home, tears stream down my face at the thought of seeing Xander again. It’s been five long years since he’s been near me, and I had forgotten how his presence could make my body come alive. The way he used to look at me made my heart race like I was his entire world. There’s still that look in his eyes that makes me feel like the most precious thing on earth, but deep down, I know it’s just an act. He totally rocked that act in high school, using it to manipulate girls and get what he wanted.

Tonight, I didn’t fall for it, even though part of me wanted to hear all about his new life. I was curious about how he's feeling now that he's made it big, and if it's everything he ever hoped it would be. But I didn't wanna risk being tossed aside once again,so I played it safe. This time, I have Alex to think about, and if his father isnot interested in getting to know him, then I can't go down that road. Besides, he was probably looking for a hook-up for the night, and tomorrow he’ll leave without giving me another thought.

I swipe the back of my hand across my face, trying to wipe away the tears as I fight to keep my attention on the dimly lit street in front of me through the windshield. All I need is to make it to the opposite side of town so I can finally get home.

My mother always cautioned me about the dangers that lurked in this rough part of town. She strongly believed that Alex and I shouldn’t live here, but circumstances left me with no choice but to escape her tyrannical influence. As I continue driving, fresh tears cascade down my face as I catch sight of the vibrant neon sign of the burger joint ahead. It’s the very same spot where Xander once treated me to delicious burgers and made me feel cherished.

“Stop it this instant,” I say to myself. “Quit crying over someone who never cared about you. You’re stronger than that.”

Parking my car among the other dilapidated vehicles in the car park, I lock it up and head towards the entrance doors. Climbing the steps up to the twelfth floor, I retrieve my keys from my bag and unlock the door. The serene silence inside reassures me that Alex must already be asleep, given the late hour.

The room is bathed in a warm glow from the kitchen light, which illuminates the area. As I glance over, I notice Mrs. B. peacefully asleep on the couch, her head resting against the back. Her glasses are slightly askew, and her mouth is open. It truly astonishes me how this remarkable woman goes above and beyond, exceeding anything I could ever ask of my mother, despite not being related to me. It’s already one-thirty in the morning, and I can’t help but ponder how, if it were my ownmother, she would have incessantly called me, asking when I’ll be coming home.

I carefully place my bag on the table, followed by my keys, hoping to avoid making any noise. Unfortunately, my attempts are futile as Mrs. B. wakes up and glances over at me.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” I quickly apologize.

“No, you didn’t. I just closed my eyes for a few minutes,” she explains, getting up from the couch and coming over. Her movements are slow, and her aging body shows signs of stiffness.

"How was he tonight?" I ask, hoping Alex is doing better.

“He seemed more energetic tonight. We read a story and put together a puzzle. Then he asked me to take a seat so he could play something on his guitar.”

I smile with relief as I hear him returning to his usual self.

“But he barely touched his dinner. How was your night?”

I walk towards the sink, my hand reaching out for a glass of water, uncertain of how to convey to her the immense wave of emotions that washed over me upon seeing Xander again. It was like my heart had been shattered all over again.

“That bad, huh,” she says when I don’t answer. She gets how much Xander's actions hurt me with how he won't even be there for his own kid.

“Are you okay?” Mrs. Baxter asks.

With a glass in hand, I turn towards her. Nodding, I raise the glass to my lips and take a large gulp of water, desperately attempting to suppress the tears that are forming in my eyes. Yet, it proves to be in vain; Mrs. B has already detected my distress.

“Come here, love,” she says, her arms wide open.

As I set the glass down on the sink, I find solace in her comforting embrace, tears flowing freely down my face. This vulnerable side of me, I’ve only shown her once before, whenI couldn’t keep it inside any longer, and I revealed the painful truth of what happened five years ago - when Xander left me, and I found out I was pregnant.

"The most messed up thing is, Ace from the band actually offered me a job," I say, wiping my nose and trying to hold back tears.

“What kind of job?” she asks.

“I don’t know exactly. Something about just being around.”

“They want you to be around Xander after everything that has happened.”

"Yep," I say, grabbing the card from my back pocket and giving it to her.

When she gives it back, I go over to the trash and toss it in.

“I don't think I can deal with that. It hurts to see him. He tried to talk to me tonight, but I just couldn’t do it. Ace wants me to come along on their Australia and New Zealand tour.”

She looks at me, totally confused.

“I know, right? It’s absurd,” I add.

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