Page 90 of Bound By Darkness

“I ran away from home after being beaten by my father. It wasn’t the first time, but that day, I’d decided to make it the last time he’d ever strike my hands with leather reins. He was… ruthless,” he continued.

“There’s not a bone of mercy in his body. It made him a fearless leader, but also a leader most people tended to avoid. It caused a lot of tension where he worked. However, my mother’s kindness knew no boundaries. Once, I found her stitching together a bird that had collapsed in the garden, its wing crushed. She had worked on its wing for days, only for my father to crush the sickly bird as a cruel lesson. A lesson for her, but also for me.”

Ivan’s face grew grim under the blinking stars. “Still, she found ways to keep her kindness under his tyranny. Two of them you know well.”

My eyes flicked to his sides. “The swords.”

He smiled slightly. “Yes. A promise and a prayer to her son that I would not turn out like my cruel father.” He paused as his gaze flicked to the stars above. “When my father found the blades, he’d struck my mother. The first time I’d ever seen him strike her. I’ll always remember seeing her flyacross the room. How her small frame collided into the dresser with a force no man should command.”

His fingers curled at his sides. “I stood before him, and because of my defiance, my father struck her, not me. I had caused her more suffering. From that moment, my mother decayed. She always harbored sickness, but she lost the will to fight once it happened. She ultimately gave up in the end.” Ivan’s lips pursed together. “A lovely family, isn’t it?”

I wasn’t sure what to say or if I could say anything. His story… his story was similar to mine. “I’m sorry.” It fell flat as it left my lips. I wasn’t sure how to console another person, let alone him.

Ivan laughed, a dimple forming on his left cheek. “I found something else you suck at.”

“Gods, you’re insufferable,” I muttered as my eyes scanned the endless sky. This view of the stars was everything as they twinkled back in response with the ocean’s melody.

“You know,” Ivan drawled, his fingers twirling a blade of grass, “the gods forgot their place.”

“Ivan,” I said, but he silenced me with a look, his eyes swimming with mirth.

“The gods forgot their place when they forged you from their creation.”

My cheeks heated. “Stop being stupid.”

He shook his head. “I’m not. Your casting is proof enough. The records did little to capture the sheer amount you possess, let alone the vast amount of space you can cover.”

“Did you forget I can’t control it? I nearly lost my life in the forest.”

“With training, you’d be able to wield it.”

“I don’t want to wield it. I don’t want this ability at all.”

“What happens if you release it again? What happens if you can’t come back? I can’t—” Ivan went silent, his eyes glued tothe shimmering above.

“You can’t what?”

“I can’t—” The words seemed to falter as his hands pressed into the grass.

“You can’t what?” I said a bit softer, my eyes finding his.

“I can’t do this without you. I’m not… I mean—” He stopped. “I don’t have allies, not in the manner you’ve done. Already, you’ve befriended Fin. Let alone winning the heart of the entire med tent.”

“It’s called talking,” I mocked, but Ivan didn’t chuckle. There was no spark as he turned to peer at me.

“You understand these people, their hardships and worries. I’ve never been able to do that. I spend much of my time trying to fix Cethales alone—to give these people a better life, but every time I mess up. I even failed with the rebels and… and protecting you,” he whispered.

It was as if he was describing an entirely different life, but that wasn’t accurate. He’d endured the same, if not more than these people. “That’s not true,” I blurted, inching a bit closer. “What of you and Gwen? You understood her aching heart when Isaiash died, did you not?”

He stayed silent.

“What of your mother? What of your father? You dealt with that torture for years until you finally ran away.” My eyes caught his. “You don’t need me. Not in the way you think. You’re not a failure, especially to the people who need you the most.” I bit my lip. “Now putting that cot together in the tent? You definitely failed at that.”

A chuckle drifted from the breeze, calming the ache in my heart I hadn’t realized was there.

“You’re sounding a lot like Gwen.” A smile lit his face. “It’s quite unsettling to hear the words she’s screamed at me for years to also come from you.”

“What can I say? She’s quite impressiveandcorrect.”

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