Page 82 of Bound By Darkness

“Beginner’s luck,” he mumbled as he plopped beside me. His thigh rested against mine as he tipped his head back, those gray eyes roaming my face.

“What?” I asked, my cheeks heating underneath his intense gaze as my eyes peered at his throat, my lips itching to trace every curve of skin he had on display.

“You’re intriguing.” His fingers curled around the cot edge, gripping lightly. “One minute, you’re inconsolable. The next minute, you’re a builder. Are there more shades to you I don’t know?”

I shoved those sacrilegious thoughts away—thoughts I would never act on, but to daydream? What harm could come from that? “Maybe you should take the time to understand me,” I finally answered.

“And who are you, half-breed?”

I bit my lip at the question. “I don’t know.”

I had worn so many masks I’d forgotten to take them off somewhere. A culmination of different faces and attitudes melded into me, molding me into the person I was—a shell of the person I used to be. I wasn’t sure how to find her, let alone bring her back.

“Well, you at least know how to build. That’s a plus.” He grinned, patting the cot in emphasis.

I bumped my knee into his, a smile crossing my face. “And you do not.”

He bumped my knee back. “Fair.”

We didn’t speak for a while, each of us basking in each other’s presence. An air of awkwardness lingered about what had occurred in the med tent. Neither of us brought it up as we let it fester on our tongues.

I wanted those arms around me again, and gods, I was stupid for dreaming so, but for some reason, his presence brought me comfort.

Why was my breathing easy around him or the way my heart fluttered at each unexpected glance? My lips and fingers wishing for one chance to feel the heat from his skin again? Or the way my mind struggled to form coherent thoughts when he sat close, my body begging for that hint of rosewood like air?

Ivan shifted. “So Laias,” he said into the thin air.

I hadn’t realized I’d been staring at him as I looked away, my face heating. “Right. Laias,” I blurted, a hand running over my face to blur those thoughts away.

That’s why we were here and had traveled so far in the first place. Not to stare into the eyes of the man who’d comforted me a short while ago.

“What do you want to do?”

My eyes swiveled back. When had anyone asked me what I’d wanted? “What I want to do?”

His hand curled around the cot, his fingers a mere stone from touching my skin. “Do you want to stay here or do you want to go back to the prison?”

He was—“You mean we could go rescue Moria?”

“Yes. With the rebels having already attacked, it wouldn’t make sense to keep you here as bait. The King and Queen of Laias are dead. It’s a ticking war zone before King Hywell shows up with his soldiers to suppress this land for good. Finish what the rebels started.”

My eyes flicked to his. “If that happens, these people would fall under his reign… his control.” I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Krones is gone, Laias is gone, and Raha works for King Hywell. There’s no more Houses left standing to oppose him.”

“The last pillar of freedom is gone,” Ivan muttered, his gaze distant as he stared at the dirtied tent flaps. “What’s coming next will be devastating and there’s nothing to prevent it from happening.” His shoulders slumped, tendrils of black falling over the creases of his brow.

A hand raised as I set it on his arm, muscles twitching beneath my fingertips. “Then we stay here. Help them rebuild.”

His eyes widened as he stared at me. “You’d give up searching for Moria to help them?”

Not them, you—I wanted to say, but I gave him a nod. “Only until we help them stabilize. If we left, and Laias fell under his control, where would we even go? Everyone is looking for me and despite how much I hate it, the prison is the safest place for her.” I blew out a breath. “I need to figure out my casting first. To visit that library—research,” I said, hating the words as they left my throat.

His eyes flicked to myhand where it rested on his arm before he cleared his throat. “You? Researching?” A glint of humor swirled within his eyes. “I could never picture you reading a book, let aloneboringrecords written by Fae pricks.”

I rolled my eyes as I ignored that hint of humor. “Tell me where the library is. I want to go there as soon as possible.”

Ivan rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. “That—you’ll have to talk to Chiron about. He’s acting as Laias’ figurehead.”

“I have to ask for permission?”

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