Page 53 of Rise of a Fallen Man

She gasped softly in disappointment.

“Then I say that infatuation is unhealthy. Having lovers is one thing. Developing strong feelings for them is something entirely different, my dear.”

“Is that why you don’t have lovers now?”

“My decision on that is largely due to my personal preference. I treasure the stability of being with someone I know and trust over any temporary thrill a new lover may bring.”

I appreciated being able to discuss it openly with her like that. But this conversation wasn’t helping me in the ways I hoped it would.

The thrill of being with Salas wasn’t temporary. It had lasted far longer than it should have. Thinking about him filled me with an ever-growing excitement, far more thrilling than the feelings I had for my husband. Could I hope it would change?

I hadn’t gone to the games since the day he got injured. As promised, I’d sent the royal healing witch to assess his injuries, but after she told me he was healing well, I made no further inquiries about him. I had carefully avoided even a general conversation about the gladiators. Yet the longing in my heart never eased. If anything, I missed him even more now because the hectic activities of the past two weeks left me feeling more alone than ever.

It was a horrible situation all around.

“Of course, I also have to take your father’s feelings into account,” Mother said. “At this point, my replacing him with a lover would upset him. I care about his happiness too much to do it to him.”

At her words, guilt pressed on my chest heavier than ever.

“I don’t want to hurt Leafar in any way.”

“The annulment would ruin him,” Mother pointed out.

“It would,” I agreed, rubbing my eyes. Harming Leafar seemed even more devastating than causing a war with Olakrez. He was an innocent boy trapped in the situation he had no control over, at the mercy of the forces that were far bigger than him.

Mother came closer and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

“You have a good understanding of what’s right for the queendom, Ari. I trust you’ll do the right thing.”

A dreadful feeling descended heavily into my stomach. There was so much I wanted to do for Rorrim to improve the lives of its people, but I could do it only if I followed the path leading me to the crown.

A future queen would always do what was right for the country. Peace was the most important thing for Rorrim, and the stability that came with a robust succession line of its monarchs. I could not risk that.

Someone knocked on the door before I could reply to Mother.

“Your Highness...” A maid poked her head into the room. The expression on her ashen face stopped the words in my throat. She saw my mother. “Your Majesty. It’s the king. He was hurt. Trampled by his horse...”

Chapter 14

Ari

Father lay in bed. His riding coat was off. His shirt had been cut open. A white sheet hid the lower part of his body from the waist down. Scuffs and bruises bloomed on his chest, but there were no open wounds visible and not much blood. Was it a good sign?

“Trebor.” Mother rushed to him, no longer looking like a powerful queen but simply like a regular woman terrified of losing a loved one.

The royal witch was already here, organizing the small team of her helpers.

“Anna...” Mother’s name drowned in a trickle of blood from the corner of Father’s mouth.

A witch’s apprentice wiped it off with a gauze, but another trickle came with Father’s next labored breath. He closed his eyes, giving up on trying to speak.

Horror gripped my throat. His bleeding was internal. Father had some terrible wounds that we couldn’t see.

I grabbed the royal witch by the sleeve of her ivory-white robe.

“How is he?” I asked.

She glanced at my parents uneasily.

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