Page 12 of Rise of a Fallen Man

I took another sip of my tea, washing down the food. Sadly, the tea didn’t get rid of the bitter taste in my mouth caused by her words.

“My alternative is to die in the snow out there. And no, I don’t like it very much. Despite everything, I’m not ready to die yet,” I admitted. “But I have nowhere else to go.”

She nodded, as if expecting it. “No family, I take it?”

“None who’d want me.”

“There are still options out there for you, boy,” she argued. “Go do something else.”

“I tried. No one would hire me.”

“Why not? There is nothing wrong with you.” She tipped her chin at me. “You’re strong and healthy. There is enough work out there. Hard, back-breaking work maybe, but people will respect you for it. There will be no respect if you stay here.”

I shifted in my seat uneasily. “No one will hire me. I’ve tried.”

Erif squinted at me, leaning with his shoulder against the mantle of the fireplace. Recognition spread across his face.

“You’re Lady Lana’s kept boy, aren’t you?” He pointed at me. “I heard on the market that her daughter yapped in church to anyone who cared to listen about how you deceived and seduced her poor mother to gain the lady’s favor.”

I managed to control thereflection. But my cheeks flared with heat that didn’t come from the tea or the fire.

“That’s not how it happened,” I said, staring into the flames.

“Maybe it isn’t.” Traeh reached for her pipe again. “But truth doesn’t matter as long as people believe the lie. No one will let you in their house now, boy. In their eyes, you’re tainted, ruined, and soiled. Wicked. The town folks think that wickedness is like a disease that can spread on their pure, innocent sons.” Her voice gained intensity as she leaned closer. “But working here will make it worse. You’ll never wash off the stain of being a whore for hire. Never. If there is anywhere else you can go, any place at all, go there and stay away from houses like ours.”

Fear clawed at my chest that they would send me away. Now that they had warmed me up and fed me, going out into the dark, freezing night felt worse than death. The chances of me surviving another night in the open were slim as the storm moved in.

“That’s the problem, madam. I have nowhere else to go,” I said.

“Right.” She leaned back in her chair, puffing on her pipe again. “You’re too young to even sign a slave contract.”

Erif cleared his throat. “Who is to say that slavery would be a better choice for him than this? Slave work has killed many strong men.”

Traeh gazed at me with undisguised pity. “Your freedom or your body, Salas. Either way, you’ll have to give up one. It’s not an easy choice to make, is it?”

“It wouldn’t be an easy choice,” I agreed, “if I had it. But I don’t even have that one. You said it yourself, I’m too young for the slave contract.” Now I knew exactly what Lady Lana meant when she said I’d have no future. She truly left me with nothing. No woman would marry me. The only path I ever knew in life was now closed to me. “All I have is this. If you have me.”

“Well...” Traeh grunted, getting up. “It’s getting late. Erif will take you upstairs. You’ll bunk with the boys in the attic. The second-floor bedrooms are used for work only. It’s slow today. The weather keeps people at home. Tomorrow doesn’t look like it’ll be much better, either. Rest, take a bath. Tomorrow night, you’ll show me what you know about pleasuring a woman. Then I’ll teach you the things you might not know yet.”

THE FOLLOWING NIGHT, Traeh took me to one of the neatly furnished bedrooms on the second floor of the house. After closing the door, she turned to me and heaved a sigh, looking me over.

I avoided meeting her eyes. I wasn’t worried about failing her test, or whatever this was supposed to be. But ever since Lady Lana had first laid her hands on me, I’d had to brace myself for the touch of another being. I was not looking forward to taking my clothes off for yet another stranger, another woman more than twice my age.

I swallowed the knot of nerves and apprehension in my throat before bringing a hand to the buttons of my shirt.

Traeh stopped me by covering my hand with hers.

“Keep your clothes on for now, boy. Let me just tell you something first.”

I looked up, finally meeting her dark-eyed gaze.

“You have three things that make you what you are, Salas. Your body.” She pressed a hand to my lower belly, just below my belt. “Your heart.” She touched my chest next. “And your mind.” She tapped with her finger against my forehead. “Don’t give all of yourself to this work, and you’ll survive. You’ll have to use your body to give the clients what they pay for. But keep in mind the things you need to get out of it—things like food, shelter, money, and whatever pleasure you may get from being with a client. Most importantly, however, leave your heart out of it completely. Your heart is yours and only yours. Keep it that way.”

I nodded, not entirely understanding the full meaning behind her words yet, but grateful for them anyway. There was more to me than Lady Lana had taken. She ruined me but didn’t destroy me. I survived her. I would survive this too.

Watching my face, Traeh nodded with satisfaction.

“And don’t let the judgment of others get to you,” she said. “This is a job, like any other. It just occasionally requires you to wear less clothes than most.” She pulled her blouse off over her head. “Keep your pants on for now. Your work will be mostly about the women you’re with. Not all of them will ask you to undress. They’ll pay you to touch them, not the other way around. Now, kick your boots off and hop in the bed. You may end up having fun still.”

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