Page 100 of Rise of a Fallen Man

I closed my eyes for a moment, forcing the cherished memories of Salas’s large body moving over me out of my mind. I didn’t want to remember it right now, not when I was about to get in bed with someone else.

“Can you also not grab me while we are...together?” I asked Leafar.

He squinted at me from the pillow. “You don’t want me to touch you?”

“Can I trust you not to restrain me or hold me down while you’re touching me?” I fisted my hands, already dreading an impending panic attack.

He was so young, so inexperienced, and I was so fucking jumpy. Not knowing what to expect from him, I couldn’t trust him, and I feared the worst.

“It’d be kind of hard to hold you down if you’re on top,” he pondered.

It was not impossible for him to roll me over. He was stronger than me. But I wasn’t going to give him any ideas about that now.

“Just try not to overpower me. Let me do all the work, at least tonight. Please?”

“As you wish.” He threw his arms to his sides. “I’m all yours.”

All mine.

Whether I wanted it or not.

I lifted my robe out of the way as I climbed onto the bed. He bit his lip, watching me straddle his legs.

Was he hard enough for us to proceed? He didn’t look like he was. Goddess knew, I wasn’t ready at all.

How was I supposed to fix it?

I never had to think about things like that with Salas.

Salas...

With him, it’d just happened. In the most amazing way.

My chest squeezed so hard, I nearly bent over in pain.

I couldn’t think about him right now.

I couldn’t remember...

“Your Highness?” Leafar’s worried voice reached me as if through a fog.

In this relationship, I was the one who had to make it happen. I had to be strong. I tugged at the belt of my robe, untying it.

“It’s all good,” I said, trying to sound comforting, then shrugged the robe off and tossed it aside.

He ran a curious gaze up and down my naked body as I tried my best not to blush. It wasn’t shyness that crippled me, but the uncomfortable feeling from how wrong this whole thing felt.

Unease creeped up my spine, threatening to paralyze me. I had to get it done and over with. Quick. Like yanking out a tooth.

“Sex is supposed to be enjoyable.”Salas’s words came to me.

And then,“Some things take time.”

I didn’t have time. I fought for it and lost. But I had to at least try to make it enjoyable for Leafar.

I plastered a smile on my face and leaned over him.

“Just relax, my prince.” I slid my hands up his perfectly smooth chest.