Page 9 of Downfall of a Princess

The world had tilted then, as if slipping off its axis. The music had suddenly sounded false and the laughter derisive. My vision had focused on the other men’s hands in the room. I saw them sliding under the women’s skirts and into their necklines. The touching had been fully consensual of course. No man in Rorrim would dare touch a woman without her explicit permission or he’d lose his head by law.

I knew it, but my mind had leaped elsewhere that night. It had reached back to that dark place inside me that I wished I could rip out of my soul and burn. I’d yanked my leg away from the man, jumped to my feet, and ran back to my carriage. I rode all the way to the palace and didn’t remember how I got to my room.

Then, I’d made a clumsy excuse about my coming down with a sudden sickness for the Games Master so that she wouldn’t punish the poor gladiator responsible for my flight. It wasn’t his fault that my mind viewed any physical contact with a man as a threat.

I never visited the gladiators’ quarters again. The aftergame parties reeked of sex. And sex was clearly out of the question for me.

“I’m good,” I said to Gem, steering Revlis off the road and onto the path around the city wall.

She pursed her lips. “I’m afraid nothing isgoodabout this situation, Ari. You’re twenty-six. And as far as I know the closest you’ve ever come to being with a man has been a leg hug. You’ll need to marry one day. How are you going to know what to do with your husband to conceive an heiress?”

I raked my hands through the silver-white strands of Revlis’s mane. “I still have time. You’re older than me and aren’t married.”

“You can’t compare me to you,” she retorted. “The future of a country doesn’t depend on me. I can stay the way I am for the rest of my life if I so wish. My older sister is married, with three daughters. There are more than enough heiresses to our mother’s lands and title. You, however, are the only daughter of our queen. I hate to pressure you, but you are our only hope for the continuation of the current ruling line.”

I tightened my fingers in the horse’s mane. “Do you think I don’t know that?”

Gem wasn’t the first or the only one to bring up the subject of a marriage. My future husband hadn’t been chosen yet, but the buzz about possible candidates had been going around the palace for years. The talks of marriage had mostly been delivered to me in the form of veiled comments and gentle nudging. Gemwas the only courtier who ever dared speaking frankly with me like that.

I narrowed my eyes at her suspiciously. “Did my mother put you up to this?”

“Would you blame her if she did?” She jerked her head, her ponytail swaying behind her. “After so many years of anguish with the queen trying and failing to conceive, you were our miracle. You arrived here by magic, as an answer to our prayers. No one questioned your right to her crown. Now, you’re our only hope for the peaceful continuation of the current ruling line without the risk of a war for succession, but you act like you couldn’t be bothered.” She spread her arms aside, holding the reins in one hand. “Pardon me, Your Highness, but that’s selfish.”

When she put it that way, I felt rotten inside. Rorrim had become my one true home. I cherished the trust and love of its people, learning diligently how to become the ruler they deserved.

“Gem, I never said I didn’t care. I know what’s expected of me, and I have no intention of running away from my duty. But I’m not even married yet. How can we talk about an heiress already?”

She perked up. “Just say a word, and the queen will marry you in no time. You know she and the king have been compiling a list of suitable candidates for years now. You can have a husband within weeks if you wish. But then, what are you going to do with your pure, innocent groom when the time comes to consummate your marriage? Trust me, it helps to know in advance what’s supposed to happen in the bedroom between a woman and her husband.”

Just thinking about the wedding night made me break out in sweat. I rubbed my arms to chase the sudden chills out of my skin.

Oblivious to how uncomfortable this conversation made me feel, Gem continued in an upbeat tone, “Ari, sweetie, you can’t expect a young gentleman from a good family to know anything about sex. A wife teaches her husband the ways in the bedroom. That’s how it is. But what can you teach him if you’ve never been with a man yourself?”

The question hung between us, unanswered.

Gem was right, of course. The continuation of Queen Anna’s line was important. Her ancestors had ruled Rorrim Queendom for over a millennium. During their reign, there had been so few wars in the country, the detailed account of all battles fit in one medium-size book in the Royal Archives. The people of Rorrim treasured peace above all and enjoyed the prosperity it brought. I couldn’t be the one to jeopardize it all now. But the very idea of a man touching me made me want to run as far away from all men as possible.

We turned around a bend of the city wall. The Egami’s execution site lay on our way to the forest path where Gem and I were heading for our ride.

As my lessons on governance had taught me, every law had to be enforced in order for it to be respected. The wooden scaffolding had stood in this very spot for centuries. As the wood rotted and deteriorated, it was replaced again and again, keeping this spot for punishments ordered by the queen.

The spot had been chosen outside of the city so as not to upset the city dwellers with gruesome views. Though judging by the crowd gathered around the platform now, some of the dwellers chose to travel all the way out here specifically to watch.

Gem winced. “There is a flogging here today.”

If it were a beheading, I would’ve known about it. But flogging was normally a punishment for crimes too small to warrant notifying either the queen or the princess about.

A man was being whipped on the platform. Even from a distance, he appeared huge, dwarfing the brawny helper of the executioner who was delivering the flogging.

The punished man’s arms were spread wide, tied with ropes to two poles on each side of the platform. With his shirt off, his wide back was turned to me. His skin had already been covered in red welts from the whip. It broke in a few places, blood dripping down onto his worn brown pants.

I stiffened as the whip hissed through the air. The wet sound of broken skin and splattered blood followed.

“Let’s just ride past it quickly.” Gem nudged her horse to go faster.

The man must’ve done something to deserve it. He wouldn’t be punished otherwise. Still, I winced and held my breath as the executioner’s helper raised the whip again.

As I rode by, I couldn’t take my eyes off the man on the platform. Something seemed unusual about him. Something I couldn’t quite figure out... Until I realized, he didn’treflect.

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