Page 86 of Downfall of a Princess

Longing stretched from me to him like a thin but resilient thread. I wished I could break it as easily as he’d broken the lattice to block his way back to me.

A longing could grow into something bigger if I wasn’t careful.

But there was no place for Salas in my future.

And I had no place in his.

Chapter 17

Ari

An occasional sleepless night was nothing new to me. Normally, I’d just feel a little groggy in the morning, nothing a second cup of coffee wouldn’t fix. Sometimes, I even stayed up intentionally, preferring catching up on work to a fitful sleep plagued by nightmares. A sleepless night often meant I’d be tired enough to get at least a handful of hours of dreamless, uninterrupted sleep the following night.

But in the week since Salas left my bedroom for good, sleep had become an even rarer treasure than before.

The saying went“Out of sight, out of mind.”I’d hoped that after some time spent without Salas, the image of him walking away into the night would fade in my mind, and the heavy feeling pressing on my chest would lift. I hoped the pull between us would weaken.

Meanwhile, I wanted to learn more about the sores of our world that his story had exposed to me, and I wished to heal them.

He’d made me think. And it wasn’t just about the sensation of his hands on my naked body. Salas had opened my eyes to things I thought I knew but either had been misled about or oblivious to. My new world, my sanctuary, my safe place turned out to be far from safe for men like Salas. It also offered nothing but a bleak future to many children.

The morning before the slaves were supposed to leave Egami Palace, Father and I sat on either side of the cigar display table in his parlor.

An illustrated edition ofEquine Breeds of Western Islandslay open between Father and me, with neither of us paying any attention to it. The history book that Father had been reading that morning was already securely hidden under the window seat cushion, just in case anyone walked in on us unexpectedly.

“The orphanage funds are set and approved by the council,” Father said. “The council also breaks the sum down by location. I have nothing to do with it, dear.”

“But you are the main patron,” I argued.

“I am.” Father nodded. “That means I’m always photographed for newspapers during my official visits to the orphanages. I also give speeches during those visits sometimes, when the council requests it.”

“That’s not all, though. You organize the fundraisers. Are you not in charge of the funds raised?”

“No, sweetie. I don’t actually organize them. I just lend my name and sign the thank-you notes for the donors. I have no say in how the money is distributed. The council decides on that.”

I hoped he might at least have some influence on the distribution of charity funds. But it seemed the council firmly held all reins of power in their hands. Just like they held on to all the existing laws on slavery.

I’d managed to put a review of the laws on slavery on the council’s agenda, but Lady Etah insisted on limiting the time for my presentation. I had to cut my speech in half, but frankly, I didn’t think it would’ve made any difference had I delivered the entire speech. The vast majority of the councilors voted against the suggested revisions of the existing laws without even seeing my proposal.

They had allowed me to reduce a slave’s punishment by two lashes before. They had agreed to increase the number of inspections in the widower houses around the country now. But they vehemently opposed any fundamental changes to theexisting laws. The power I thought I had turned out to be not much bigger than that of my father. His name was on all those charities, but he had no influence on their administration.

“The distribution of funds for orphanages is massively skewed for the benefit of the girls.” I sighed.

“I know, dearest.” Father ran a hand over his neatly styled hair, making sure not to touch the carefully arranged wave over his forehead. “But is it really a bad thing? Think about it, Ari. Education is wasted on boys.”

“You’re a man, Father. You used to be a boy too. Did you not benefit from education?”

“My main benefit came from marrying your mother. The ability to read helps me combat boredom but not much more. For men of lower classes, education is almost a curse instead of a blessing. You know what they say? Ignorance is bliss. And I’d add, especially when one’s destiny is physical labor, one doesn’t need to be literate to haul rocks.”

Orbricks, as it might be in some cases.

Good education didn’t help Salas to improve his life. Would he have been better off without it? Or maybe the problems in our society were too deep to be solved by fixing just one issue. If we were to educate the boys, we also had to offer them ways to earn a living with their acquired skills and knowledge in the future.

“Educating a girl,” Father continued, “helps her gain employment where she can put her education to good use. She’ll earn a living, take a husband, and have the means to support them both. Meanwhile, boys should direct their efforts toward finding a good wife and being a good husband to her. Don’t you see? If the funds are split evenly, in the long run both groups will suffer. Boys would do better for themselves if they focus all their energy on attracting a suitable wife.”

“What if they fail at that?”

“Then they should try harder,” Father replied, undeterred.

---