Page 84 of Downfall of a Princess

I wasn’t hungry. I could always get any food I wished. He, however, could use a break from the potato stew served in the slaves’ barracks. But Salas didn’t seem to be in a hurry to devour such delicacies like doe cheese from the mountains or the sweet fruit from across the sea. Picking up a rye wafer with a thin slice of ham, he took a small bite of it, then placed it back on the edge of the tray.

Salas handled food with the same reservation and control with which he drank fine wine or made love to me, as if afraid to get used to something he knew he couldn’t keep.

I set my cup down on the tray, then took his hand in mine. He faced me. His eyes, dark in the pale moonlight, studied my face. I searched for something to say. Something that would express how I felt having him by my side, but no words seemed adequate, so I just smiled.

Leaning closer, he kissed my nose. The tenderness of his gesture spread through me like melted butter. My limbs grew heavy and my resolve to keep it together softened to a mush. He didn’t move away from me, pressing another kiss to my cheek.

“Your freckles are hard to see at night,” he murmured against my skin. “I need to be very close to spot them.”

My glasses fogged up from his breath, and I closed my eyes, using my other senses to feel him.

“Is that what you’re doing, Salas? Are you kissing my freckles?”

“Hmm,” he hummed, pressing a kiss to the side of my nose. “They’re so cute. And extremely kissable.”

“I don’t remember anyone calling me cute before.”

“It’s because they don’t get to see you like this, with your hair down and your feet up.” He pressed his lips to my other cheek next.

Out there, deep behind the horizon, the sun kept moving, bringing the inevitable morning to Rorrim Queendom. Soon, Salas would have to leave. But for now... For now, he was still mine.

I tilted my head back, catching his next kiss on my mouth. He deepened it, letting me taste the sweet tea on his lips. When he pulled away, he panted a little, leaving me out of breath too.

“Have you ever been on a date?” I asked, because this really felt like a date to me, even though I'd never been on one before.

“No,” he said. “I was too young for courting when my parents were alive. And then—” He shrugged, not bothering to finish.

But I knew what he didn’t say: and then, an adult woman robbed him of his innocence, his youth, and his future, depriving him of any chance to ever have a date.

“If you were on a date, what would you like it to be?” Salas asked, his voice lifting. Clearly, he refused to be dragged down by memories of his past.

“Oh, I don’t know.” I tapped my chin with a finger. “I’d go see a play in a theater?” It came out as a question, betraying my uncertainty.

“Is that something nobles do when courting?”

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “I’ve never really courted anyone. The council and my parents have been doing that part for me so far.” I thought about my parents strolling along a garden path, lost in their conversation. “If I had to plan a date, I think I’d go outside. A walk in a garden is something I’d like to do. The palace gardens are a nice, quiet place to talk. Besides, I enjoy being outdoors, even if I don’t get out that often.”

“How about riding your horse?”

“I like that too, yes,” I agreed. “A ride would make an excellent date. Provided of course that my date can ride a horse.”

“Or you could teach him.”

“I’m a terrible teacher.” I laughed, shaking my head. “I could explain a math problem and help find the solution. But to explain things outside of the classroom? That’s not in my skill set. I’d be like, ‘Alright, Salas, this is the horse. Horse, this is Salas. Now find a way to work together.’”

He grinned, moonlight bouncing in his eyes. “So, it’sourdate you’re talking about then? Since it’s me you’re introducing to that horse.”

I didn’t argue. What was the harm in letting this fantasy live for a little while? Either way, it was doomed to die with the first light of sunrise.

“Well if so,” he continued, “then I’d like for us to go swimming together. Do you swim?”

“I do.”

“Great. But I have a condition. The best swimming is at night when no one is around, because it’s best to wear no clothes at all, nothing to drag you down. On a calm night, the water is so dark, you can’t see the bottom. With the starry sky above and a bottomless abyss below, it really looks like flying. And at that moment, you feel absolutely free.”

Free.

I closed my eyes, letting the picture created by his words take me. Of the two of us, it could be assumed I had more freedom than Salas. But I felt more tied up and chained than ever, restrained by so many duties and obligations, sometimes it felt my back would break from their weight.

---