Page 14 of Downfall of a Princess

“Ari, I applaud your asking questions and seeking answers. No law is perfect. Our society constantly evolves, and we should strive for improvement every single day.”

“Thank you, Mother.” I picked up my muffin and finally took a bite of it.

She moved her spoon on the table, then adjusted the napkin in her lap.

“Laws of the land are important, Ari,” she said, looking at her cup of coffee instead of me. “But so are our traditions.”

I caught a slight change in her tone of voice and set the muffin down again. “What traditions are you talking about, Mother?”

She took a long drink of her coffee before meeting my eyes. “Your father and I have been looking for a suitable candidate for the next king consort.”

“Ahh, that...” I exhaled.

I knew this conversation was coming sooner or later. I’d just hoped forlaterrather thanright now.

“Yes, dearest. You are of the perfect age for marriage—mature enough to guide your future groom but also with many years ahead of you to ensure an offspring.”

“Right. The offspring,” I groaned inwardly, holding my back straight and my head high.

“Ensuring the continuation of our line is one of the most important duties of a queen. You know that, dear.”

“Of course I do, Mother.”

“Now, that leads me to the delicate topic I’ve been meaning to discuss with you.” She cleared her throat and tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. “In order to produce offspring, usually the more experienced wife guides her innocent husband through the... um, theprocess. And I’m afraid you're not sufficiently experienced in that matter, dear.”

“Right.” I shifted in my seat. “Any chance I could maybe get a more experienced and slightly less innocent husband?”

She huffed a laugh, as if I’d told her a joke.

“You know a royal husband’s reputation can’t be anything but spotless. Your father and I have worked hard on our list of candidates. All of them come from royal families with excellent ancestry. Their mothers vouch for their purity and virtuous upbringing. Which means your duty will be to introduce intimacy to your future groom. But you can’t introduce something you haven’t experienced yourself, can you? From what I’ve heard, you haven’t been intimate with a man yet.” She let the silence stretch, obviously waiting for me to either confirm or deny that claim.

“You spoke to Gem, didn't you?” I mumbled, not meeting her eyes.

“I did,” she admitted with a soft smile. “Daughters often share with friends things they wouldn’t talk to their mothers about.” She leaned toward me again. “But if there is a reason foryour hesitation around men, tell me, maybe I can help? I am the queen, after all.”

I clasped my hands in front of me. How exactly could a queen help?

Did I need help? Was something wrong with me?

I didn’t hate the idea of sex. I had experienced the pleasure of sexual release. I just hadn’t had the desire to share it with anyone yet, being perfectly content with my own hand so far.

“I really don’t know what to say, Mother.”

She peered at me closely. “Does the company of women possibly excite you more than that of men?”

This conversation was unlike any other I’d had with the queen before, but it wasn’t the first open or sincere one. I might not have spoken to Mother on this particular topic before, but we’d shared many heart-to-heart conversations about life in general. Being honest with her wasn’t difficult or new to me.

I pondered the best way to answer her question. I did feel far more at ease in female company, but that wasn’t what the queen’s question implied.

“No. Not sexually, Mother.”

She nodded. “We can make some arrangements then.”

“What kind of arrangements?”

“Whatever suits you best, dearest. I’m afraid your past may be to blame for your hesitation, but I don’t want it to dictate your future.” Her voice softened with compassion that made my heart squeeze with love.

Queen Anna was the best mother I knew, theonlymother I had who was worthy of that name. It hurt to disappoint her in anything. My desire for her approval had been a huge drive behind my success both as a student and the council member.

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