Page 110 of Wingless Crow: Part 1

I faltered under his intense stare. The memories of last night barged in unbidden. A hurricane of emotions assaulted me, all of them unpleasant. Pain, shame, terror twisted my insides into knots. I staggered on my feet, calling on whatever strength I still possessed to stay upright.

“If I tell you the truth in every detail, will you let me go?”

“No.”

Why did I even expect anything else?

I exhaled, feeling defeated. “Will you at least make me forget again?”

“You want me to get rid of your memories, Sparrow?”

“Yes. Take away the ones from last night. Or you know what? Take them all if you wish. I don’t care for any of them now.”

Cruelly, he shook his head.

“I’ll never take a single memory from you anymore, Sparrow. They are yours to keep, yours to learn from, and yours to cherish. Are there no experiences you’ve gained in Sky Kingdom worth cherishing?”

One of his black eyebrows twitched up in question. He looked at me with an odd glimpse of hope, as if he really cared about what my time in Elaros had been like for me.

Maybe not all of what I’d lived through had been bad. I’d met Dove and Libelle. I’d grown to like Brebie’s company despite her constant poking, prodding, and stuffing me into way-too-tight corsets. And then, there was Voron…

Every encounter with him sparkled with crackling tension and tingling pleasure. With him, I was often both drained and elated—tired from toeing the line he clearly didn’t wish to cross. The push and pull we went through was exhausting. But at the same time, if I couldn’t have more with him, I wished to at least have more of the same.

Would I want to erase every memory of Voron from my mind? Good along with the bad? I didn’t know. But I couldn’t admit it to him, either.

“The few good memories don’t outweigh the sad and the outright scary ones,” I said instead. “And if you drag me back to Elaros, I may as well not remember anything at all.”

He came closer and placed a hand on my shoulder. Now, there was nowhere to run. I’d lost my chance.

“The queen wants to talk to you,” he said.

I exhaled a humorless laugh. “I’m sure she wants to do far more to me than just talk.”

“It’s all part of the investigation.” He sounded every bit his usual collected self. Whywouldhe be stressing out? It wasn’t likehehad to worry about his life. “Sparrow, you can’t survive outside of Elaros on your own. I admit, I’m impressed you’ve made it as far as you did. For a while, I feared you were dead after jumping into the river.” He drew in a long breath as if my death would’ve affected him deeply.

I let him think I’d escaped by jumping into the river, though. He didn’t need to know about Dove helping me.

“Come back with me.” There was kindness in his voice, like he was giving me a choice.

I shook my head.

“Please, just let me go, Voron. Pretend you didn’t find me. Tell the queen I did die in the river.”

I wasn’t asking him to save me. All I wanted was for him to look the other way. But I already saw it in his eyes, he wouldn’t give me even that little leniency.

“I can’t do that,” he said. “I have an order, a direct order from the crown.”

“Do you always have to follow the orders? Can’t you be just a little bit less diligent?” I pleaded. “Just once?”

“I serve the crown. I swore my life to it.” He picked up my cloak and satchel from the ground. “Come, Sparrow.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and walked me to his horse, ever so gently leading me to my doom.

The horse snorted when we came closer. It danced from hoof to hoof, but Voron stilled it by placing a calming hand on the side of its neck. Magnus flew up as Voron lifted me into the saddle. I gripped the mane of the horse and managed to stay in the saddle on my own this time.

“You’ll ride. I’ll walk.” Voron took the reins, leading the horse away from the clearing.

The even trot of the horse was luring me to sleep. But I fought to stay awake.

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