Page 71 of Accidental Fiancé

“Not that much.”

“Twice since you got there. You've been there twenty-four hours. That's a lot, even for me.”

“Is it?”

“Not really,” she admitted with a laugh. “I was just trying to make you feel better. My point is, obviously things are escalating between the two of you. With your history coming to light, it seems as if things are pointing you down a certain path. But only you can choose to walk down that path.”

Hearing that, I decided to admit it. “I feel like I'm falling in love with him.”

“No. You're not.”

I frowned at my phone. “Pretty sureI'mthe one who gets to decide that.”

“Precisely. What I mean is we do not fall in love. Wechooseto love.”

I had heard Nora talk poetically about the topic for years. She did not believe in falling in love. It wasn't some head-over-heels helpless thing to her. Love was a decision to be made according to her rules.

“I know you have your own rules about love, Nora, but if it is a choice, then why do I feel like I'm falling whenever I see him? Why do I feel less solid and shaky every time he walks into the room? I feel too weak to breathe around him, and my heart pounds like a drum every time I look into his eyes. Tell me that’s not falling in love.”

“That's not falling in love, doll, that's a cardiac condition. Have you been checked out?”

I couldn't help but smile. “You're an idiot.”

“The smartest idiot you know.”

That was probably true. “So what do I do about all of this?”

“You have to figure out what it is you want. Once you figure that out, go to Julian with it. But don't go to him unless you know exactly what it is you want, be honest with yourself and him. Men are not good at helping us figure that out nor are they good at realizing our needs and wants.”

“I know that, that's why I'm talking to you.”

“You think I can help you figure out what you want? Doll, I've got a male senator strapped to my bed with a gag ball in his mouth and a pig mask over his eyes who I had crawling around on all fours an hour ago. I barely enjoyed myself. I don't know what I want. How am I supposed to tell you what you want?”

“Well, crap, that’s not much help. By the way, I did not need that visual.”

“Oh, come on. Sure you did.”

“A senator?”

“What can I say? I like to stay politically active.”

“That tracks. You've always been an avid voter.”

She laughed. “The things he did to my ballot box?—"

“Don't. Just need advice.”

“Oh, come on, he's a senator. You're not at least a little curious?”

“Okay, fine, give me one good detail, and then get back to me, because I really need some help here.”

“Alright, but it's gonna be the filthiest one that we've done so far, and it involves a butt plug with a coiled pigtail on the end of it.” She dove into the details, and even though it wasn’t my scene, I sort of understood the appeal. Kind of.

“…oinking as he finished. Honestly, it's some of my finest work.”

“I didn't realize you had a thing for barns.”

“Variety is the spice of life. Now, back to your problem. Tell Chloe to fuck off and go get your man.”

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