Page 22 of Savage Redemption

“She had breast cancer. It started when you were about eighteen months old. Louisa and I weren’t together then. But we were friends. I knew about her diagnosis, but I didn’t tend to see her that often, so I didn’t know how she was doing. How her treatment was going. She lived in South Leeds, in one of those high-rise blocks. One day I was near there on my way back from some site visit or other, so I decided to call in.”

“How did that go?”

His brow furrows. He gazes into the middle distance, remembering. “Not great. I hammered on the door of her flat but got no answer. I’d have given up and gone away, but I could hear a child crying inside. That turned out to be you. I was on the point of kicking the door in when she eventually opened it. I was shocked. She looked awful.”

“She’d got worse?”

“A lot worse. She’d had some chemo, and radiotherapy, but it hadn’t made much difference. The disease was aggressive and back with a vengeance. It was spreading fast. Christ, it was all happening so fast.” He halts, rakes his fingers through his hair. “She already appeared to be at death’s door, not fit to take careof herself let alone a lively toddler. I don’t think either of you had eaten for days. I’ve no idea how she survived to that point. I didn’t know what else to do, so I bundled the pair of you into my car and brought you back to my apartment at Clarence Dock.”

“The apartment we still have? The one we stay at when we go shopping in Leeds?”

“The very same. I lived there then. My city centre bachelor pad. It was before I bought this place. I put Louisa in the spare bedroom and did what I could to take care of her. And you. Obviously, Grace was a godsend.”

“Grace? My nana?” Grace Richardson was our housekeeper but always seemed much closer than that.

“Yes. She worked for me then, but not full-time. She did my cooking and a bit of cleaning, but she was fond of Louisa and wanted to help so she took on a lot more. I hired nurses, too, and Grace sort of supervised it all.”

“I didn’t realise…”

“Louisa had no one. Her parents were dead. Your father was long gone. She could have gone into a hospice, I suppose, and you’d have been fostered somewhere, but she didn’t want to lose you. She adored you. You were all she thought about in those final weeks. I couldn’t save her, much as I might have wanted to. But I could give her the end she wanted, with you at her side. So, that’s what I did.”

He pauses, takes a few moments to reflect, to think back to those traumatic days and weeks all those years ago.

“We knew how it would end, Grace and I. We asked Louisa if there was anyone we should contact, someone to take care of you after… after she’d gone. There was no one. Then, one day, she asked me to adopt you.”

“And you agreed?”

He meets my gaze and smiles. “Too right I agreed. I almost took her hand off at the elbow when she offered. I adored you,had from the very first time I saw you. You were always my little princess, even then. I was happy to agree, and we got the papers drawn up double-fast. I set my legal team on it. I was advised that it would be smoother if Louisa and I were married, so we did just that. The ceremony took place at her bedside, just you, me, Grace, a nurse, and the registrar. You had a pretty new dress. I think you still have it.”

“Yes. At the back of my wardrobe. White, with blue bows on.”

His smile is fond. “You were so cute. We signed the adoption papers the same day, all sealed and legal so there’d be no problems later. I was your stepfather, and your adopted father. Louisa was happy. She… she died just two weeks later.”

“Oh. So quick?

“Yes. That evening, we knew she had very little time left. She asked for you. You were tired, and too young to understand what was happening, but we got your pyjamas on, and I helped you up onto the bed so you could snuggle in, just as you always liked to. She put her arm around you. You fell asleep, and… so did she. She passed away holding you, just as she’d wanted.”

Tears are streaming down my cheeks. “I never realised… I mean, I knew she died of cancer when I was three, but not the details.”

“She was a lovely woman. A fantastic mother. And she fought right to the end. I was proud to know her, and to take on her beautiful daughter. You were her final gift to me. I was never certain that it was the right thing to do, to let you be there when she passed. Is there ever a right way to do something like that? You were so young… but it meant so much to Louisa in her final hours. As soon as it was… over, I took you and put you to bed in my room. By the time you woke up, the undertakers had been. Louisa was gone. Of course, you asked about her, but we explained she wasn’t here anymore, and you seemed to accept that. And we moved on. All of us, as you do. There was a funeral,a low-key affair, then a few months later we moved to Black Combe. My bachelor pad days were over, I needed a proper family home. Grace came with us, as you know. A few years later, Eva arrived, then Bella. I like to think we made a nice family, the four of us. Five, with Grace. But I never wanted you to lose touch with Louisa.”

“I don’t think I ever will, not as long as you tell me about her. And all the pictures. And her things still around.”

“She had lots of books, at her flat. I drove round there and collected them, and some jewellery. A stack of records, too. She was an ABBA fan. I kept it all, for you, if you want it.”

“I do.” I might not read the books, they’re classics mainly, not my sort of thing. But the jewellery is nice, and I don’t mind ABBA. It all helps to make a connection. “It was good of you to keep them all.”

“It seemed like the right thing to do.” He takes a sip of his coffee, grimaces. “Ugh, it’s cold. What about your tea?”

I try it. “Same. I’ll make us a refill. I think we could do with one.”

CHAPTER 6

Julia

“I can’t believeyou did that.”

“Did what, my sweet?” Baz props himself on one elbow to regard me from his side of the bed.

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