Page 5 of Christmas By The Shore

“Is that rhetorical, or do you actually want me to answer?”

“Please don’t. I know what you’re going to say anyway. It happened because I work too much, don’t put myself out there, etcetera. But really, four years? That just feels so wrong when I say it out loud.” She let out a defeated groan. “Did it at least seem like Chris believed you when you said all of this? Or did he look dubious?”

“He bought it,” she said. “At least, I think he did. He’d had a few drinks at that point, so he wasn’t exactly in his sharpest state of mind.”

“Okay. I guess that’s something.”

“There you go.” McKenzie patted her on the shoulder. “Way to look on the bright side. Your dating life might be nonexistent, but as far as your ex-boyfriend knows, you are going out every weekend with a new man!”

“Yeah…” Cat laughed. “Although the first time he or Monica sees me buying ice cream at the store in my pajamas at 10 p.m. on a Saturday, they are going to know that it was all a lie.”

“You have the power to make it true.”

“Like it’s that easy.”

“Well, it’s easier when you actuallytry! Let me make a profile for you on one of the apps. C’mon. It’s time.”

Catherine’s typical refusal bubbled up in her throat, but it was quelled by the thought of Chris’ handsome face smiling at her with pity when he broke up with her. “All right,” she heard herself say. “We can set it up when we go out for drinks this weekend.”

“Yes!” McKenzie pumped her fist like a footballer who just made a touchdown. “This is the best day of my life!”

Catherine laughed, and they got out of the car. “If that’s true, it’s pretty sad.”

“Or, is it a symbol of just how much I love and care about you?”

Cat pretended to think about it for a second, then shook her head. “Nope. Just sad.” But she laughed, and McKenzie smiled as they headed inside the building.

3

That day at work, Cat couldn’t stop thinking about Chris—specifically about what he’d said to her when he ended things all those years ago. It was only a month after her thirtieth birthday, and she had been under the impression things were going well. There was mention of a vacation in a few months when Chris turned thirty himself, and even what she thought at the time was a hint at a proposal. Sure, both of them worked a lot, and they’d been talking about going on a vacation for years without ever actually pulling the trigger, but she didn’t see anything wrong with that.

When they’d met, fresh out of college, they’d both been determined to start their careers without any distractions. Cat had dated and had plenty of fun during undergrad and was ready to buckle down, and Chris was just born the type of person who liked the grind.

It was why she thought they were truly meant to be together. They shared the same values and goals and understood when the other one had to prioritize work over something having to do with their relationship—including holidays or dinner dates.

But then Chris changed.

For Cat, it seemed as if it happened overnight, but he said it was a long time coming. Apparently, there had been signs, but she just wasn’t paying enough attention to notice. She took offense to this, but Chris had come to the argument with receipts.

“What about the vacation we’ve been planning?” she asked after he told her they should break up. “Were you just lying to me then? Acting like you wanted to be together in the future?” They were in their shared one-bedroom apartment right next to one of the loudest rail trains, which meant their entire building shook every time the train went by. This happened right then, forcing Chris to wait a few seconds before responding. He was still wearing his suit, but his tie was loosened, and his hair had fallen out of its carefully crafted style.

The fact that he looked totally hot at that moment was just rubbing salt into Cat’s wound.

“We haven’t actually been planning anything!” he said. “Vaguely discussing trips we want to take some day is very different from actually booking things! You change your mind about where you say you want to go every other week anyway, so how could we ever even take action?”

“You know I don’t care where we go! I just think it would be fun.”

“But do you really?” He stared at her with an intensity she’d only ever seen in him when he was in the middle of a heated work call. “Do you really think that seeing the world and relaxing together on a beach somewhere sounds fun? Or are you just saying that because it’s something people say?”

She drew back. “What do you mean?”

“Two weeks off work.” He held two fingers up as if she didn’t know how to count. “These amorphous plans we keep talking about would require us both to take two weeks off work. In all the time we’ve been together, I’ve never seen you take more than three days off, and that was only because you were literally in the hospital with pneumonia!”

“You’re the same way!”

“I know!” He laughed, and the sound was anything but joyous. “That’s the problem. We’ve been encouraging each other’s worst habits for years now, and I can’t do it anymore. When we first got together, I thought it was a good thing. We supported each other, fed into one another’s ambition, and I know for a fact that I wouldn’t have come this far in my career in just five years if you hadn’t been by my side.”

“I feel the same way.”

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