Page 90 of Kilted Hate

While they had kept her busy during the day, they could not stop the nightmares that tortured her at night, and every night since, Domhnall had taken her in his arms as she wailed and comforted her.

Wrapping his arms around her, he lay there and rocked her to sleep. Not once had he tried to touch her in any other way, only offering her consolation.

The day after the attack, he had more or less told her that she was now free.

“I still love ye, Katherine. And, if it is yer desire, I would like ye tae stay. Even if it isnae yer desire, ye need some time tae heal.”

Without specifically telling her, Domhnall had given her a choice. A choice to stay or to leave. At the time, she had had far too many other things on her mind to really think about it, but the last few days had been different.

She was by no means healed. Not even close. That would take far longer than a week. And yes, the night terrors still clung to her like a child to its mother. But the last couple of days, when she had snatched a few and far between moments alone, she had been left to consider what she really wanted.

Brought to Scotland against her will, used by both her brother and the ruler of England as a disposable pawn in their game, she now, for the first time in her life, was being given the opportunity to decide for herself. And perhaps because it was a novelty, along with it came a sense of fear.

There is no possibility to blame another when you are the one making the decisions. It had occurred to her that Domhnall faced this every single day of his life, for he was the laird. All decisions were laid at his feet, and now she discovereda newfound respect for the weight that was always upon his shoulders.

She couldn’t really compare her life to his, of course. She was making a decision that would affect her only. His decisions affected an entire island of people. She had stopped herself in that thought, however, for her decision would, in the grand scheme of things, affect other people.

After everything she had done, and the pain and heartache she had caused, Domhnall was still in love with her. Not only had he told her, he had not stopped showing it at every opportunity since they had returned.

And yet, he was trying so very hard not to influence her decision, one way or another. Clearly, he wanted her to stay.

Yet, he had continued to show her how he felt, without any manipulation at all. It was refreshing, and at the same time, she missed his kisses, his touch, the intimacy they had shared together.

The snow began to fall once more, and, in his usual protective way, Domhnall said, “Right. That’s enough sparring fer today. I dinnae want anyone catching their death.”

With the swords and armor gathered, the group made their way inside.

“We need a drink tae warm us all,” Kai said, leading them to the drawing room.

“Aye,” Thora said, her tone laden with sarcasm. “Like ye need an excuse.”

Everyone tittered at her remark, and once inside, whisky was poured into glasses. The large fire roared, and they warmed themselves as they chatted.

Katherine, Enya, and Thora sat beside each other on a chaise lounge, while Domhnall stood leaning against the mantle, and Kai, Magnus and Ava occupied the other chairs.

The chatter between Kai and Thora, was entertaining them all, but at one point, Katherine lifted her eyes to look at Domhnall. She was surprised to see he was gazing at her, a soft smile on his lips.

She wanted to look away, but she could not bring herself to do it, and for a long second, they just gazed at each other, while all around them faded into the background. Her heart thumped in her chest, for she knew soon, she was going to have to make a decision.

As much as he had told her she needed to heal, and thus, staying there was in her best interests, nor could she leave him wondering what his future held. It wasn’t fair on either of them.

After supper that evening, Katherine announced she was going to retire. She needed some time for herself.

It was as she reached her bedchamber, that she realized someone was coming up behind her, and jumping with fright, she spun around.

Domhnall looked at her, his eyes laden with pity. “I didnae mean tae scare ye. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t,” she lied, feeling suddenly foolish when it became obvious that they both knew that he had.

“I ken ye’re tired, and if ye’re nae up tae it, then it’s fine. But I was hoping tae talk tae ye.”

Katherine looked at him for a long moment, trying to gauge what might be going on behind those beautiful deep eyes of his. But he gave nothing away, and only returned her gaze with little expression at all.

“All right,” she said with a nod.

She then opened her bed chamber door and bid him entry.

Once inside, she wandered over to the dresser. “Would ye like a drink?” she asked, lifting the decanter.