Page 93 of Aching for His Discretion

I nodded as he rubbed my shoulder.

“I’m sorry… is he speaking for the group collectively, or is this a kind of personal thing you have going on?” Micah chimed in, and I smiled as Elliot glared at him.

“I will shoot you myself,” he muttered, and Micah’s eyes widened.

“That is actually a serious threat in this group, FYI,” he said, and I shook my head at their antics as I took a seat in the car.

Present

Opening the door to Ronan’s office, he glared at me as I slammed it shut behind me. Sitting beside one of his clients, I leaned back against the sofa as Ronan spoke.

“You can’t keep doing this. You told me to clear Friday. I cleared Friday. Today is Tuesday,” he said angrily.

I lifted my shirt as the end of my pistol showed. “Leave,” I muttered to his patient, and Ronan sighed heavily as the man stood and practically sprinted out of the room.

“You’re going to have to pay for the extra sessions of my patients. You keep scaring them—”

“She wants to leave,” I said, cutting him off, and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Leave? What do you mean?” he asked, and I shook my head.

“She wants to fucking leave me. She’s been thinking about where she wants to do residency, and she wants to leave me,” I growled.

“What did you do?” he asked as a bit of panic appeared on his face.

“I fucking breathed, dammit! I fucking let her go, is what I did. I could’ve asked her to stay…told her to stay,and you fucking told me to breathe!” I practically yelled, my body language growing more agitated, and he seemed to relax slightly.

“Levi. If you did anything other than what you just did, you could’ve lost her. She’s still vulnerable. You did what you could do. You controlled your actions, behaviors, and emotions.”

“So what fucking now, huh? Let her move away and fucking leave me for four damn years?” I asked, infuriated, and he shook his head.

“You can’t stop her from leaving, but you can breathe and get control of the...situation.”

“And how does that work?” I asked, my irritation no less with his vague explanation, and he leaned forward slightly as he spoke once again.

“Levi... you get control.”

Chapter thirty-nine

Teegan

Many Months Later

Sitting on my living room couch, I sniffled softly as Gabriella stood with Troy by the lake. Grayson roamed the floor a bit confused, but nonetheless, he comforted me occasionally.

She began to sing, and I sighed heavily as I couldn’t help but relate the most to her words.

Levi and I haven’t been the same since that night many months ago, and as if it wasn’t just the blink of an eye, my graduation was tomorrow, and my move-in day was in the next month or so.

We were on okay terms, but he just always seemed so distant, and when I got accepted to the OB/GYN residency at Johns Hopkins last month, he was almost speechless for the rest of the evening. I could tell he was happy for me, but he wasn’t happy because our separation would soon be on the rise, with a possible long-distance relationship standing between us.

My parents were over the moon with joy at my accomplishments, but my brothers haven’t talked to me since that day in the hospital. The guys, however, brought me flowers and candles to congratulate me, which definitely cheered me up.

More tears came to my eyes as I realized we hadn’t even talked about our relationship, how we’d stay together, when we’d see each other. Nothing was finalized, and my emotions felt everywhere. For a while, he’d been my safety net, and now… now I felt quite lonely in one of the most exciting and scary moments in my life.

He didn’t give me a final answer for whether or not he’d make it to my graduation, and after I brought it up over the phone the other night, he still didn’t have an answer. My heart ached for us to go back to seeing one another every day, to smiling, to spending time together, and I felt hopeless.

Part of me tries to acknowledge the positives of distancing myself from him, and I wish I could forgive him for the trauma I had to endure… because I loved him. I loved him with everything in me. I believe I must’ve accidentally admitted it to him while I was sleepy, yet I haven’t felt the same from him… not recently, at least.

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