Page 109 of Aching for His Discretion

I handed him a mug of tea, and he thanked me softly as he took a sip and leaned against the counter beside me.

We didn’t speak about last night. However, I wanted to address the elephant in the room and remind myself of the boundaries I forced up, but, like an addict coming face to face with their addiction, I almostachedto be in his arms again—to feel safe, to be held, to feel warm. Only he could make mefeel this way, and no matter how much I wanted to ignore the feelings or ignore how much he affected me, I couldn’t. Not when he put so much effort into changing who he was because I had wanted him to.

“Levi... If we are going to talk,” I began, and I could see him slowly becoming a bit uneasy as he took another sip of the tea. “If we ever want to fix anything between us, we have to start slow,” I muttered, and he looked at me for a moment longer before sighing.

“I apologize if I overstepped any boundaries last night.”

“No... don’t be. Last night, you were there for me, and I appreciate that,” I said softly.

He continued looking at me as the look in his eyes changed slightly. They looked more protective, almost possessive.

It reminded me of the way he looked at me a couple of years ago and how he would make me feel like the only woman in the world who he needed to protect and cherish.

It made me feel all giddy and lightheaded back then as he showed me how much he cared about me through his actions rather than simply his words. And now, I could feel those familiar feelings resurfacing as he gazed at me with sheer love, protectiveness, and affection in his eyes.

“I always want to be there for you, Teegan,” he stated, and I nodded, trying to hide the blush that slowly crept up my neck.

Clearing my throat, I nodded as I finished my tea and placed the mug in the sink to wash.

“I know…” I whispered in response.

Checking the time, I noticed it was time for me to leave soon.

“I-I should probably get going. We’re most likely going to be a bit backed up at the hospital today,” I said as I made my way to the living room to pack up my belongings.

He lingered behind me a bit as he watched silently, his eyes filled with uncertainty, though he held his composure. I wasn’tused to this kind of behavior from him. He was controlled or calm, in contrast to the impulsivity that had previously driven him.

“Can I bring you to work? It’s supposed to snow throughout the day, and I wouldn’t want you to drive in it,” he asked sincerely, his voice laced with concern, and I paused in my movements.

If I let him take me to work, this would be another boundary crossed. We could fall back into old habits or routines once again, routines in which he would slowly coerce me into believing his lies, and I would find myself trapped in the same cycle once more.

Though the offer was concerning, I was tempted—tempted to trust him again as he had taken steps to be a better person overall. How would I be able to know for sure he changed if I keep pushing him away?

After thinking for a bit longer, I nodded. “I suppose that it would be okay,” I said, and his features softened as a look of relief filled his eyes.This was starting slow.

I wouldn’t jump back into old habits. I couldn’t. But I could gradually learn more about the man who worked to change for me and about what we could do to reconcile the past and potentially look to the future together.

I was still wary, however, as I had to remain guarded to protect my heart, my newly found independence, and my sense of self-worth as the reminders of our past were still fresh in my mind.

Nonetheless, my heart fluttered as he grabbed his keys and wordlessly grabbed one of my heavier bags before I could protest. In contrast to the other day, when I denied his help, I wanted to embrace it today, even if the feeling would only last for one car ride.

Chapter forty-six

Teegan

Sitting in the cafe, I sipped on my mango smoothie as Abbie rambled about her night getting home in the snow. In contrast to what I thought, the labor and delivery floor was slow, and not many patients showed up for the clinic.

The ER was a wreck, but they were fully staffed and only called us when there were some pregnant mamas in need of help. It was now five in the afternoon, and I was spending some quality time with the girls on our small break as we waited to be called in to help. I thought about inviting Jacob, but he was still distant and a bit standoffish ever since I told him I viewed him as a friend.

“I started a new show,” Emma said, all giddy as Abbie had ended her story of how she almost ended up in her neighbor’s yard.

Before I was able to speak, Abbie rolled her eyes. “She’s watchingGood Girls, and she won’t let me spoil it for her,” she began, and I giggled as Emma glared at her.

“You already ruined half of my favorite shows. I won’t let you do it again,” she said.

Abbie tilted her head as she ignored her once again while she looked at me. “You kinda remind me of Elizabeth, Teegs.”

“I remind you of a criminal mastermind who makes counterfeit money and moves drugs?” I asked, perplexed as Emma began laughing at my question.

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