Page 107 of Aching for His Discretion

Abnormal… please. Out of my thoughts.

“Bad habits are hard to break, I suppose,” I muttered and looked over to the kitchen counter to see a few bags of takeout. “And what’s all this?”

“Well, you said you’d be home by seven, and it’s eight thirty now. I hope you don’t think it’s rude, but I thought you wouldn’t want to come home to cook or clean. So, I decided I’d help you out a bit.”

I gave a small smile. “Not at all. I’ll take a quick shower and see what it is that you’ve brought,” I said appreciatively, and he nodded as he looked down at Grayson, who seemed to be clinging to him.

Going into my bedroom, I got undressed and took a quick, much-needed shower. Afterward, I threw my hair in a messy bun and put on a cute loungewear set before going back over to the living room.

My food was already laid out, and my mouth practically watered at the smell of the carne asada tacos. Sitting on the other end of the couch as a precaution to put some space between us, I cleared my throat.

“Thank you for this.”

“It’s the least I could do… truly,” he replied, and we began eating in silence. Well… I stuffed my face while he simply watched me inadmiration.

After a short while of me embarrassing myself, he spoke.

“Couldn’t help but notice you took off your necklace…”

I didn’t say anything for a moment. I couldn’t. It was his first real gift to me, a symbol of our growing relationship with one another. I kept it on for years… but now—

“Didn’t have much of a reason to keep it on.”

“Won’t argue with you there,” he replied, and I felt indifferent. I didn’t want to say he truly had changed… because I had made that mistake before. But by the way he talked, the way he was trying to control his emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, it wasn’t about him showing control. Instead, he was relying on mine. He was basing his plans on whether or not I wanted him near. Granted, it had only been a day, and I was in need of sleep, but I could tell something had changed.

“About last night…” I began, and he sighed.

“I came on a bit strong, hmm?”

I had to get myself under control, and I couldn’t do it with you there. I had to learn how to fucking live without you because I realized that I quite literally can’t live without you. I can’t eat, breathe, or sleep without you being on my mind.

“Just a little, yeah…”More than a little… a lot, actually.

“Still working on that, I guess.”

“How is therapy, if you don’t mind me asking?”

He paused in thought before he nodded. “It’s… fine. He tells me things I don’t quite like to hear about myself, but it helps… it helps to know the kind of person I am when I look in the mirror.”

“Do you think that person changed?” I asked, and he simply stared at me, the words barely audible as he replied,

“I hope he did.”

We ate for a little while longer before he decided to stand, grabbing his trash.

“I… probably should head out. I don’t think we’re ready to have that conversation again and I don’t want to upset you,” he muttered, and I looked out of the window absentmindedly as he walked to the kitchen to dispose of the trash.

After a moment, I stood, walking over to the window only to see the snow was not only covering up the window, but it was basically a winter wonderland outside.

Not a car in sight, the snow covered all of the roads, cars, tires, everything. I knew it was going to come down hard, but I didn’t think it would be this bad.

Sighing for the hundredth time tonight, I played with the end of my sleeve as I turned to face Levi, who had just come back from the kitchen.

“You can sleep on the couch,” I blurted out slightly, and he furrowed his eyebrows. “It’s dangerous outside. The snow is getting really bad, and they probably won’t be cleaning the streets until the early morning. I don’t want you to drive in it,” I said sincerely, and he approached me as he looked out the window as well.

Turning back to me, I blushed at our proximity, and he gave me a head-to-toe glance before speaking.

“If you insist…”

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