Page 92 of Aching for His Discretion

His jaw clenched at my rebuttal. “And why have you come in today?” he continued.

“To be fixed. To change.”

“People can’t just be fixed or changed, Mr. Amante,” he responded.

I shook my head. “I can, and I will. If I don’t, I’m going to lose her, and I can already barely live without her.”

“And this feeling you feel, Mr. Amante… is love?”

“Well, it has to be. Since the day I fucking met her, I’ve been in love with the woman. I tried to deny it, but I couldn’t,” I admitted.

Ronan wrote a few things on his board before rubbing his chin.

“What is it?” I asked, irritated at his silence, and he shrugged.

“Love... Mr. Amante, has no definition. For some, they describe it as a deep intense feeling. Some may even describe it as an unconditional admiration for the person they love… to the point where the person preoccupies or fills the mind continually and intrusively. Do you want to know what else this definition illustrates?” he asked. “Obsession. Addiction. Fixation. Your feelings toward her, your behavior… while natural to you in nature, are what’s driving her away.”

“So I need to change the way I love her?” I asked, and he shook his head.

“People don’t change, Mr. Amante.You need to learn how to control it.You need to control the obsessive thoughts and possessive actions that led you here in the first place.”

“Control it…” I whispered, and he continued on the clipboard for a moment.

“What are some things you do to relax or calm down?” he asked, and I shrugged.

“Murder, torture, sex—” I began, and he raised a hand.

“I’ve heard quite enough, thank you. Now, this will be your first task, Mr. Amante.Breathe. When you have the urge to resort to violence or brutality or feel your control slipping,breathe,” he advised.

I nodded slowly, not entirely confident in the plan he had in store for me.

“Now… if you wouldn’t mind, our session today is over, and I have to now register you as a client, so—”

“Keep it off the books. There’s a reason I came to you,” I muttered, standing, and he nodded.

“Next week will be longer. We’ll unpack a bit more and work on some... other aspects of your rather crude behavior,” he remarked.

I ignored his slight insult as I checked my watch. “I’ll be back next Friday,” I muttered.

“Same time?” he asked, and I shrugged as he furrowed his eyebrows. “Well, what time will you be here?” he asked.

I sighed. “Friday.”

“What am I supposed to do, just sit around and wait for you to potentially show up?” he asked.

I nodded. “Just do me a favor and clear your schedule for me, Doc.” I smiled, and he remained silent as he stood annoyed and walked over to his desk.

Upon exiting the building, Micah spoke.

“That went surprisingly well for a first session,” he muttered.

I remained silent as I opened the car door.

“Levi... It’s going to get better,” Nico said as he placed his hand on my back.

“I almost fucking killed you,” I said, turning around.

He grabbed my shoulder. “But you didn’t. Why the hell do you think we’re all standing here now? We knew what the fuck we got ourselves into when we began working for you. And now, siamo una famiglia.Blood. Just like we won’t get rid of you, you can’t get rid of us.”

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