Page 141 of Aching for His Discretion

“He’s beautiful…”

“He’s your nephew,” I replied softly. Holding Silas on my arm steadily, I placed my hand in Declan’s once again.

“Despite all that’s happened, we’re still a family. Silas needs his uncle… and I need my brother, Declan. Let us be your reason to keep living.”

“You should hate me, Teegan. I don’t deserve you, Silas, your forgiveness… I don’t deserve any of it.”

My gaze on him intensified slightly as I spoke. “Did I deserve what you did to me?”

“Teegan…” he whispered, and I shook my head.

“Answer my question. Did I deserve the abuse and trauma you and Dakota put me through?”

“...No.”

“Did that ever stop you?” I asked, and he sighed.

“No.”

“Even if you don’t deserve my forgiveness or you don’t deserve to be in your nephew’s life, that doesn’t mean you can’t work to win back the broken trust.”

“How can you be so open to forgiveness? After everything I’ve put you through… it doesn’t make sense.”

“Love doesn’t quite make sense either. But love is what taught me that people can change, that those same people who’ve hurt you in the past…are still worthy of some kind of redemption,” I responded softly, and Declan remained silent. His eyes shifted over to the door and back to my eyes.

“Is that why you stayed? Was he worthy of redemption?”

“Well, if he weren’t... we wouldn’t be in this hospital room, would we?”

Again, it was silent for a short while, and Declan slowly lifted his hand. It looked as though it pained him, and I went to speak before he placed his finger in Silas’s hand. Silas, in returned, pulled, tugged and looked ready to chew on it as well.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been more terrified ofhimthan I was last night,” Declan muttered truthfully.

I smiled a little at his confession as he gradually opened up, admitting being a bit afraid of Levi. It was a side to him I wasn’t used to seeing at all, and though we’d only scratched the surface, I wouldn’t push too hard.

Silas kept on, finding Declan’s fingers rather interesting, though Declan let him as he continued, “As much as I despise him... he’s gained my respect for one simple reason.”

“And what’s that?” I asked.

“The way he loves you, the way he protects you against anything or anyone… even his own father,even himself. It shows his dedication, his devotion to loving you. If I couldn’t see it before, now I definitely can see why your heartachesto be with him.”

Levi

Standing outside the hospital door, I waited patiently for my Tesoro to finish talking to her brother. When she came out and took Silas inside, I was confused, but I didn’t say anything. My eyes surely said enough as I silently asked her if she was all right while I stared into her red, tearful eyes, but she gestured to give her some more time. Given that I didn’t hear any arguing through the door, I would say they were making some kind of progress in there.

My mind unconsciously drifted to the events of the night before. I didn’t recall much of it… it was almost as if I’d blacked out, the only light being my sweet Tesoro.

The one to bring me out of my darkness and despair. The one that gave me permission to finish what should’ve been done years ago. How my father managed to escape death from my hands was beyond me… but he wouldn’t escape me again.

He and I were somewhat the same: impulsive, crude, and selfish—but he could never control his demons. Which is why I suffered, why my mother suffered… why our family was essentially broken beyond repair.

And over time, he began to fearmy demons. The ones that made me who I am. The ones he instilled in me. I could only imagine what made him so bold to attack the way he did. Using Declan as a pawn and terrorizing my family… maybe he was looking for a death wish.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t put up much of a fight. He was already a dead man walking as he had essentially been dead tome and the rest of the world for years after I’d supposedly killed him.

Maybe he couldn’t handle being alive. Maybe he needed closure… to end the sorry excuse of a life he was living. Bashing his head into the ground of my son’s nursery and breaking his arm as my wife trembled in the corner sure did one hell of a job of bringing it to him.

The door opened beside me, and I glanced over to see my sweet Tesoro coming over to me with Silas. In contrast to the rather optimistic gaze our child had, Teegan looked sad but relieved… letting me know it wasn’t as bad as she probably anticipated it would be.

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