Page 6 of A Breath of Fresh Air

“Yeah, I was going for a run down on the beach,” he replies, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder at the path winding back up the hill behind him. “The locals are used to me now.”

“That’s good. That’s where I was heading.”

“That’s where I live. I’m renting a bach on the beach. Do you wanna come back with me and grab something to eat? My shout. There’s a good cafe down there, I’ll just have to stop home for a bit first and put on some clothes.”

“That would be lovely.” I nod at his hand and his failed attempt to cover his bits — I can still see half his balls hanging down behind his fingers. “Are you going to walk back naked?”

Brett’s laugh startles a nearby saddleback, the small bird hopping quickly away through the underbrush. He shakes his head, a lock of brown hair falling over his forehead. “I’ll put my fur back on, and run with ya.”

Seeing him change again — now that I’m not stunned out of my mind — is something so odd and impossible that I still can’t make sense of it, even as he stands before me on four legs, his coat a beautiful ruddy brown, his muzzle going ever so slightly grey around the mouth. His tail wags as I reach out a hand towards him, and he steps forward until his wet nose bumps my palm. He’s huge, taller than me at the shoulder, as big as a horse, each paw the size of dinner plates.

I’m not scared at all — not like the first time I saw a wolf in person, when Van shifted in front of me — but I’ve got no doubt that he could be bloody dangerous if he needed to be.

“Ready to go?” I ask. Now that we’ve been standing around for a bit, I’m beginning to shiver, and I’m keen to get running again.

Brett barks.Barks!His tail wags, and I take that all as a yes. He darts off in front of me, scrabbling up the hill at a ridiculously fast pace, stopping to wait for me with a canine grin and big, intelligent yellow eyes. It’s definitely still Brett, and as we continue on this way I’m surprised by how my mind gets used to the idea, his friendly personality shining through even in this form.

He really is the same guy.

Brett movedto New Zealand ten years ago, when he found out the Kiwi woman he’d had a quick fling with while she was holidaying in Aus was heavily pregnant with his daughter, Alice.

“I packed my bags and hopped on a flight the next day, and that was that, starting my life over in a new country at thirty-seven,” he explains as I sip my coffee. The cafe he mentionedislovely — a little beachside setup in an old converted house. I’ve noticed it before on my runs. With the misty weather it’s quieter today, and we sit inside in a cosy corner, the darker interior making Brett’s eyes flash reflectively every time he looks my way.

“Did you have a relationship with her?” I ask. Maybe the question is too personal, but chatting with Brett feels so natural, and it’s not so often that I talk to someone who has had a similar parenting journey to my own.

He shakes his head. “I moved into the house to help Tracey, but it was never like that, and I didn’t intend it to be that way. I just wanted to be with my kid. Ineededto be — she’s a human, Alice’s mum, and she didn’t know I was a wolf. I had to get a witch involved, take off the glamour, show her how I shifted. I had to teach her about wolves. That was all before she went into labour, and then afterwards… well you know what it’s like. You’re sleep deprived, the pup’s been attached to your tits all day… sex is the last thing on your mind. So nah, we’re better as friends, and we figured that out pretty fast. I stayed in the house for the first year and then a job opportunity came up across the other end of the city, and we agreed to me having Alice on weekends, and that’s what we’ve done since then. It’s workedwell. It’s been a bit trickier now that I’m living on the island here — and the job has been extended from the original 3 months it was supposed to be — but we’ve made it work. The ferry staff know Alice now and we’ve got an arrangement so her mum puts her on the boat and the staff keep an eye on her for the ferry crossing, and I meet her at the dock here.”

“I’m glad you two were able to work that out.”

Brett nods. “Same.” I see him hesitate, and on impulse I reach across the table to squeeze one of his big hands.

“You can ask me anything.”

“Was Ellie’s father ever in the picture? I know she’s mentioned that she never knew she wasn’t fully human, but I don’t know the whole story. I noticed there wasn’t anyone at the wedding.”

I shake my head. “No. I was working as a flight attendant, we ended up having to do an overnight stay in Wellington — high winds grounded the evening flights — and I met him at the hotel bar. His name was TJ, he was handsome, very blond,brightblue eyes. I invited him back to my room.” I shrug. “You can fill in the blanks. He wasn’t there in the morning. I was actually using up some work perks and having a holiday in Aussie when I started to feel sick, realised I was late and took a pregnancy test. And that was Ellie, there with me.”

I feel trapped in Brett’s gaze, but in a good way. “So you never knew him at all?”

“Never.”

He squeezes my hand. “That had to be tough, doing it alone.”

“I had my dad — Ellie’skoro.” I take a deep breath, running the pad of my thumb over one of his knuckles. “But you moved here by yourself, right? That must have been tough too. You have a pack, right? Did that change things for you?”

“Yeah, it did change things. Our whole pack is back in Queensland. You know where Australia Zoo is?” At my nod, hecontinues. “We’re from around there. So I try to fly back there every year. Alice comes too. Her mum used to come along with us but she trusts me enough now,” he adds with a playful grin that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. “I usually stay a couple of weeks. It’s not ideal — we shifter wolves are bonded through a pack, it doesn’t feel quite right when you’re away for really long periods of time — but,” he shrugs, “what can you do? Their life is here, so I’ve gotta be here too.”

“You’re a good dad.”A good man.My chest burns with an intense jealousy that surprises me, but what I wouldn’t have given to have Ellie’s father on hand when she was a baby, to share the load, the ups and downs,hell, the knowledge that my daughter, too, wasn’t fully human. And if I’d had Brett… “I think she’s crazy,” I say, the thought slipping out unbidden.Fuck.“Your daughter’s mum, I mean, for letting you go. You’re a catch.”

It feels as if all the air has been sucked out of the room. There’s nothing here but Brett and I. “She wasn’t the one,” he says quietly, his fingers dancing over the back of my hand. “Everything happens for a reason.”

Brett’s utepulls to a stop in the vineyard’s carpark. It’s still an absolute shock every time I realise my daughter nowownsthis place alongside her husband. Field upon field of perfect grapevines swoop down to the most stunning sea views, the skyline of Auckland City visible in the distance. Even on an overcast day like today it’s beautiful.

“Thank you for the lift back,” I tell him. I could have run back here, but after a long brunch at the cafe — somehow three hours passed without me realising — I was happy when Brett offeredto drop me back at Ellie’s house where I’ve been staying the last few nights.

“You’re welcome.” There’s a pause where I think maybe he might lean in and kiss me, but I feel kind of panicked at the thought — I don’t have the bravery the wine afforded me last month — and I open the door with a smile despite the ache in my chest, sliding down out of the tall vehicle.

I hear his door opening as I close mine, and by the time I reach the back of his ute, he’s already there.

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