Page 38 of A Wolf in the Garden

“Okay.”

“It’s easy enough to do, but it will take some time.”

“We have all day,” Van interjects. “Do whatever you need; we need Ellie to be safe, regardless of the location.”

“You’re alright with sitting here for a long period of time? If I had to take a guess, it would be somewhere around the three hour mark. There’s a fair bit of weaving within you that I will have to do to embed my magic in a way that covers your fae magic from others while still allowing you to access it.”

“Three hours is fine, if that’s what’s necessary. That said, maybe I’ll go to the bathroom first?” I say, scrunching my nose, earning me a rare laugh from Nerilina.

“Sure, go ahead. Perhaps I will go after you, just to be sure.”

I nod, rising from my chair, pausing as I pass by her. “I don’t access my magic,” I tell her. “If that’s what you’re worried about. You don’t have to protect it, since I don’t use it anyway.”

Nerilina stares at me for long enough that I grow uncomfortable, but I’m simultaneously frozen in place, unable to break away.

“Ellie,” she says at last. “There might come a time when you need to.”

* * *

“Thank you again,” I tell Nerilina as I walk with her to her car. The smile she gives me in return is the warmest expression I’ve seen on her face all day, surprising me as she pulls me in for a hug.

“You’re welcome. You’ve got my number; feel free to reach out if you need anything. Even if it’s just to talk about how humans perceive you. I have a feeling you’re about to get mistaken for an elf quite a bit.”

“I don’t… I’m notgraceful,” I say, hoping she knows what I mean. When she laughs, nodding her head in agreement, I shrug. I am definitely not elf-like.

“Humans see what they want to see. There’s been a lot for everyone to come to terms with; if they see pointed ears and think‘elf,’what’s the harm?”

“That it’s not my identity to claim.”

“Hm. And how do you feel about claiming your fae identity?”

I’m highly aware of Van, hovering at the edge of the garden, as I say, “Not good.” That panicked weight that I’ve been carrying around for the past two years is still there every time I think about who I am; in finding some answers, I’ve really only more stress, questions piling up, and it eats at me inside. That same question that’s bothered me since the Unravelling — how can I be so proud to be Maori, but so fearful of this other side of me, of my other ancestors? — gnaws at my gut, the double standard making me feel sowhakama, so ashamed about it. Now that I know fae have been doing terrible things — kidnapping people,draining them dry, Nerilina said — it makes me feel even worse. I don’t want to be associated with that.

“Not all fae are bad,” Nerilina says sympathetically, appearing to read my mind. “Not all vampires kill humans. Not all alpha wolves are domineering,” she adds with a pointed look. “The ones that aren’t make better leaders, in my opinion, but perhaps I’m overstepping, voicing my opinions about shifter packs.”

“You can voice them,” Van interjects, his hand landing on my shoulder. “But no one truly knows what goes on inside a pack, unless you’re in it.”

“And nobody really knows what’s going on with the fae, either,” she nods. “They guard their lands and their secrets fiercely. At least now you are safe from being taken against your will. They cannot harm you anymore; I want to reassure you of that. You are safe to move on with your life.”

Van and I watch her drive off. Once her car is out of sight, I lift the palm of my hand to my face again, looking for any residual signs of that fae mark I’d been left with yesterday. “She said she removed it all,” Van says, his thumb rubbing circles on my back.

“I know. I’m just checking, I guess.”

“I’m going to stay here tonight.” He says it in that authoritative tone of his that always means he’ll broker no arguments.

Still, “My house is very small. You’re going to have to sleep diagonally on the bed to fit. Not that I mind, but… wouldn’t your place be more comfortable?” His placeismore comfortable, there’s no doubt about that, with its spacious rooms and heavenly showers, and the luxury-brand toiletries he uses without blinking an eye. “It’s not that I don’t want you here!” I add, face flushing under his steady golden gaze.

“I want to be sure you’re safe here, so that I know that on the days when I’m not with you, I can still relax. I don’t doubt Nerilina’s abilities, but seeing is believing. I’ll feel better having stayed here overnight, to test it. But also, I love your house. It’s very you. I want to see you in your element. I want to watch you go about your daily routines. I want to learn all there is to know about you.”

I understand the sentiment because I want to know everything about the man he is now, and I bite back the self-deprecatingI’m not that excitingthat sits on the tip of my tongue. “You’re welcome to stay anytime,” I say instead.

His thumb brushes the back of my hand, back and forth. “I don’t know about you,” he says softly as he lifts my hand to his lips, his breath hot against my knuckles. “But I slept so good last night — when we were sleeping, that is.” He smirks for a moment, before his expression turns more serious, more sincere, once more. “Despite everything else going on… holding you in my arms last night…”

He doesn’t finish his sentence, but he doesn’t have to. I step into his open arms, pressing myself into him, breathing him in, squeezing my arms around him, fingers digging into his back, hoping he can tell how I feel, my voice trapped somewhere in my lungs.

* * *

Everything in the past twenty-four hours has been so rushed, finally, it seems like we can breathe. “I like having you here,” I tell him as he emerges naked from the bathroom in a cloud of steam, straightening to his full height and rolling his shoulders, his flaccid cock hanging thick between his legs as he steps further into the room.

---