Page 120 of A Wolf in the Garden

“— as if we aren’t two sides of the same coin,” I finish, having heard Mom say this a thousand times before. “I know. I’m sorry that most of your family are problematic at best when it comes to this stuff.”

“Youshouldn’t be apologising,” Mom growls. “I get so fucking mad when they say shit about my babies. None of you arelesser wolves. You’re allmore. You’reboth, and you’re allperfect.” She waves her hand, dismissing the conversation, and I choose to ignore the angry tears that she wipes away quickly as I fill the kettle and switch it on to boil. “Now, where’s this tea you’ve offered me?”

I fetch it from the pantry, opening the tin and holding it out to her. “Smells good, right?”

“Ooohyes. Camomile, mint, lemon balm, lavender…” Mom shakes the tin, peering inside and the loose leaf blend. “Liquorice root too, does she grow that here on the island?”

“She grew everything in there.”

Mom smiles, doling out a decent portion into the teapot I’ve left on the bench. “She’s a talented girl, our Ellie. I’m making you a cup too.”

“I can see that. Thanks, Mom. Thank you for everything you’ve done in the past week.”

She shakes her head. “It’s what I owed you two, Van. It…” She makes a pained sound, running her hand back through her hair in that habit of hers. “It doesn’t even come close to making it up to you both. I should have handled things differently when it came to Ellie’s memory, and to you… I should have tried harder to convince your father to pull back on his orders when he decided to cut contact with Ellie. He was out of line.”

“Don’t apologise for his actions,” I say quietly. “They are his own.”

“I am his mate, Evander. And I am your mother. I didn’t quite get that balance right in the last decade. I should have backed my son more.”

I step beside her, my arm brushing hers as I reach for the boiled water, pouring it into the teapot. It hurt when she didn’t back me. It really fucking hurt. But we were all grieving, and I never took that step myself, never tried to break away from the pack earlier. I fucked up too. “I talked to Dad, just before.”

“I know. I could sense it through the bond.” Her fingers tap the marble counter. “Have you made peace with him, then?”

“I think so.”

“Good.”

“I hadn’t seen his scars, until just now.”

Mom hums, her eyes following an ant as it crawls up the wall, having escaped from one of Ellie’s bunches of flowers. “Like I said, it’s a balance between you two. I don’t like to think about you doing that to my mate, just like I don’t like to think about him being cruel to you. To know that you two are talking again, that you can stand to be in the same room as each other… that makes me breathe easier.”

“Same,” I say quietly, and I should stop there, but tonight seems to be the night for picking at my old wounds, and the compulsion to dig for answers is too great. “Dad’s theory about Jenny — about the fae killing her,” I begin, immediately regretting opening my mouth as her face crumples from those words alone. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. Seriously, forget I asked. I can live without knowing.”

“No. It’s… you have to say something,” she whispers. “You can’t keep it bottled up. You can’t tiptoe around me, I don’t want you to.”

“Mom—”

“Evander, listen to the words coming out of my mouth. Don’t start being a typical alpha and thinking you know what’s best for me. I can answer your question. We discussed it with Lylia. She said it’s impossible to know, and she wasn’t just saying that to avoid taking sides. There’s a possibility that fae could have made their way around my ward that day, but it’s just as likely that it really was an accident.” She picks up the tin of dried tea, staring into the container, but I can tell her mind is elsewhere.

“There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t think about my beautiful baby…” Her voice breaks on the last syllable, and she wipes at the tears that fall freely. “But we need to talk about her more; that’s how we keep her with us. And that’s… that’s beautiful. Grief is painful but it’sokayto grieve, it’s a part of our life. It’s unfinished love. It’s how we hold her with us, every day. It shows us how special she was, because we feel so deeply.”

“I know.”

“I know you do, sweetheart.” She wraps her arm around me, leaning her head against my shoulder. “It’s harder for you men, with all that toxic masculinity bullshit to contend with.”

“Yeah, I don’t play into that, I mean look at me,” I add, wiping at my own tears. “I cry often.”

“Good.”

I scoff at her answer, and she huffs in annoyance. “Youknowwhat I mean. I’m sorry that you’re sad, but you’re going to be when it comes to Jenny, so it’s good that you let yourself cry.”

I wrap my arm around Mom’s waist, and plant a kiss on her head. “I love you.”

“I love you too, my baby. My firstborn. You made me a mama, and I am so thankful that it wasyou. You’re a good man, Evander, and you deserve happiness and good things. And Ellie is perfect for you.”

I pour out two mugs worth of tea, sliding one of the drinks along to Mom. “Careful, it’s still too hot.”

The house is quiet, and I focus on the sound of Ellie’s even breaths down the other end of the hall. I left the bedroom door open for this reason, wanting to be able to hear her presence.

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