Page 82 of A Wolf in the Garden

Nerilina looks unconvinced, and turns towards Van. “I wouldloveto talk to your mother and see if she observed anything between you two. If she’s as powerful of a witch as you say she is, I’d be willing to bet that she did.”

“No.”

I give Van’s knee a pat. The fact that he’s not speaking to his mother at the moment is a particularly sore spot for him. Nerilina had been so excited — and then disappointed — last time we met in person, when Van had told her that his mother was from the Maheras clan, but thatno, she couldn’t speak to his mother about all of this.

“Well let me know if you change your mind. Ellie, is there anything else you want to look at or discuss before we practise more?”

“Um…” I blank for a second, knowing therewassomething I wanted to check, but unable to recall it now that she’s asked. “Ahhh…oh!The ward.”

“The ward?”

“Is it still in place? On me, I mean. Because I think I felt it this morning, and maybe pulled on it, a little?” Nerilina frowns at me, her head tilted to the side.

“That doesn’t sound like the ward. It’s in place, but you shouldn’t be able to feel it like that. Here.” She takes my hands. “Show me what you’re talking about.”

I close my eyes, and can feel it almost as soon as I start searching; an odd shape of magic, black and gold andwrong. It’s an icky scab, a supernatural wound inside my head. “That’s not the ward,” I hear Nerilina say, but her voice sounds muffled, as if I’m underwater. I’m too focused on picking at this thing, lifting it away from where it’s tethered to me, cutting strands, severing… “Ellie,stop.Ellie!”

But I can’t. There’s something underneath, and I can’t stop pulling at thisthingthat doesn’t belong here.

Snip.

It dissolves away, undone, and I see what’s underneath for whatfeelslike the first time.

The Wolves, the Deer, and the Fawn

ELLIE

Ten years ago

The sky is orange with the setting sun, and the sea is so calm that I can see my toes perfectly even though I’m currently neck-deep in the water. All in all, it’s a perfect evening, but the temperature is dropping now, and no amount of paddling around is going to stop the chill from seeping into my bones if I don’t get out soon. I wonder briefly if Van gets sunsets like this, over in the US where he is. Probably not in the middle of his winter, and certainly not with ocean views like this one.

I’ve been holding out hope that he’d come back this year, even if only for a couple of weeks, but now that it’s already New Year’s Eve, I’ve come to the conclusion that he’s not going to make the trip. Lacey had said he’d been debating it for a while there.

It’s hard not to feel hurt, and it’s even harder not to feel stupid. The last time I saw him I was fourteen, and it’s been three long years without seeing him in person. Saying“Hi,” over Lacey’s shoulder when they’re on the odd Skype call doesn’t count, and I can only conclude that he definitely doesn’t care whether he sees me or not. I know he’s busy with college, but he gets a bit of time off over Christmas, and he’s rich enough that he can just jump on a plane and fly first class or whatever it is that gets you a bed and a shower and all the fancy meals and alcohol you could ever ask for.

“You’re just a little girl to him,” I say out loud, speaking to the empty ocean. I know it’s true, too; I see the fourteen year olds at school and they’re all so immature and annoying, and I thinksurely, I can’t have been like that?But I’m pretty sure I was, so no wonder Van doesn’t give a shit about whether he sees me here in little old New Zealand.

I still miss him.

I spin around, the empty sand looking especially golden in this light, before turning back towards the open ocean. You’d think the beach would be busy, but it’s completely devoid of people at the moment. It’s that sweet spot where everyone else is partying it up indoors, pre-drinking before they come down to the sand to set off fireworks in the hours just before New Year’s. There’s a few different parties on tonight — Mum is at one of them, but I didn’t feel like going with her — and even from down here, I can hear the low beat of the music coming from one of the houses at the southern end of the beach.

I look up at the northern cliff where, from here, I can only just see the corner of the Livingston mansion. I’ve stayed there all week, but Lacey told me this morning I had to go home, quoting her dad and his request for‘family-only time’. I get it, though it still stings a little. So I’m down here, sulking and swimming alone because it’s supposed to cheer me up, and instead I’m just staring at the sky and wondering if Van sees it too, and feeling like a moron for being obsessed with a guy I haven’t even seen — and have barely spoken to — in years.

The sound of footsteps crunching on the shells that line the shore makes me turn my head, and I freeze. There’s a deer standing at the water’s edge, a deer with huge antlers andglowinggreen eyes, and I move backwards in the water, blinking rapidly.

I’m seeing things.

Except I’m not. It’s definitely real, staring at me with those freakishly bright eyes, and panic rises in my chest becausewhat the fuck?

The deer paws at the water’s edge, and something in my gut tells me torun, because this is not a normal animal. It appeared out of nowhere, and I don’t know how I know, but this, this thing isbad. I can feel it. I turn, beginning a frantic run-swim sideways through the water, my arms splashing wildly, sounding so loud in the calm evening air. I want to cry out but it’s as if there’s someone sitting on my lungs, and my voice won’t work. I don’t want to swim out deeper —can deer swim?— and I don’t want to wade to shore where it can get me, but maybe if I can get over to the cliffs directly under the Livingston’s house, I can climb onto the rocks there and wait for it to go away.

I glance back, and it’s followed me, it’s intelligent eyes looking almostamused.“Go away!” I cry. This is some nightmare level shit.

Come to me, child.

I stop splashing, stop running, stop everything. I stand frozen in the cold water, because this deer just spoke to me, and —

Come to the shore. You are coming with me, back where you belong.

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