Page 119 of A Wolf in the Garden

“I have to talk to my parents. I’ll be back soon.” I kiss her lips, smiling as she hums against my mouth. “I’m so fucking proud of you baby,” I tell her. “You did so well.”

“Hmm.” Her eyes flutter closed, a warm contented feeling settling over her, fading as she falls asleep. I stay sitting beside her for a moment longer, my hand on her warm cheek, the sudden, overwhelming feeling of relief enough to steal the breath from my lungs, making the back of my nose and eyes burn in an all too familiar way. “Fuck,” I mutter to myself, pinching the bridge of my nose as I get to my feet. This isn’t something I need to break down and cry about; this is thecelebratingpart, or it should be. All I really want to do is crawl under the covers with her and hold her for the rest of the night. I doubt anyone would blame me for that, but I haven’t had many chances to speak with my parents since they came through this afternoon, and I know I won’t be able to sleep until I do.

I slip on pants quickly and quietly, but Ellie is already in such a deep sleep I needn’t have worried about waking her. I can hear the shower going from one of the guest bathrooms where Mom is softly singing to herself, but it’s the slide of the door that opens onto the deck and the increased volume of heavy rain hitting wood that draws my attention.

My father stands on the back deck, just under the small amount of shelter provided by the eaves. He’s naked, his clothes folded neatly over the back of one of the living room couches, and there’s a pattern of scars on his lower back that I’ve never seen before, brighter silver than the other faded marks that mar his tanned skin. I recognise the new marks for what they are; in this form the pattern appears distorted, because they’re scars he received while in his wolf form.They’re deep. I’m surprised a wolf got him like that, biting him on the flank. I wonder —

The memory comes to mind with a jolt, and I can taste the coppery tang of his blood in my mouth once more, can feel my jaw closing around flesh in a definitive bite, can hear the yelp of the older, weaker alpha as I tore through skin and bit into muscle. I had been too far gone by then, too far gone to hold back like I’d intended, and with blood on my tongue my wolf had wanted victory, no matter the cost. Seth’s voice had rung out as he threw himself between our bodies, reckless and stupid andbrave, a young man among wolves as he cried“Don’t kill Dad! Please, don’t kill him!”with half a dozen pack members bearing witness to my brutality.

I had won. And in that moment, I had lost.

My father is no fool, and I realise now that he intended for me to see him this way, naked just before he shifts, so I can see the scars he bears, the marks of my teeth in his flesh. I bear the scars he’s given me too, deeper, perhaps, in that you can’t see them at all. Scars on my heart, hurt in my soul, and all the jealousy I’ve ever felt towards my siblings for their ability to justbearound him without alpha instincts interfering burns in my throat.

“Son.”

“Dad.” I nod in greeting as I cross the room, step through the open door, and slide it closed behind us. “It’s terrible weather for a shift.”

Dad stares out into the dark, the sound of the storm menacing, all roiling ocean and great gusts of wind. “My wolf demands it. But it’s your territory, so if I’m out of line, tell me now and I’ll come indoors,alpha.”

It’s hard not to get my hackles up when he sneers that last word, but I shake it off and shake my head instead. “Do what you like. If you need to shift, I understand.” It doesn’t surprise me that he needs to; after five days as the only shifter among the company of full-blooded werewolves, I’ve got no doubt that his wolf is desperate to run free.

He still doesn’t look my way when he begins speaking. “I used to hate my wolf for what he did to us, and for the choices that he made. You were myboy. I told myself that we would be different. We wouldn’t be like those other alphas, the ones that can’t stand each other. The ones that fight so viciously that their mates fear it could be to the death. But then you hit thirteen, and those alpha hormones hit your veins… you had your first shift and your wolf was sofuckingstrong and I was so proud of you, and at the same time my wolf wanted that threatgone. And I hated him for it, for the way he’d make me snarl at you, for the aggression I never asked for.”

I stare at him, frozen, heart beating wildly in my chest as he continues to look out into the black nothingness of rain that impedes even our vision.

When I remain speechless, I expect to hear one of his usual lines.Got nothing to say, boy? Speak up, it makes you seem weak if you don’t.Instead, I hear his throat click with the sound of a heavy swallow. “I was the adult,” he says quietly. “I should have fought my wolf harder for you, for my son. You were right when you called last week. I should have spoken to you alpha to alpha. We could have agreed on a way to split the pack. I fucked up.”

This is as close to an apology that I’ve ever received from him. My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; I wouldn’t even know what to say, anyway. Notit’s okay, because it’s not. But…

I clear my throat. “My wolf doesn’t mind your presence, these days.”

He huffs. “Yeah? You’re not pissing me off like you used to, either.”

I guess sometimes Icanbe a little shit, just like Seth, because I can’t hold my tongue in this moment. “That’s some scar on your back. Must have been a pretty dominant wolf to get you that bad.”

“Don’t push it,boy.”

The smile that briefly pulls at my lips fades. “I need to thank you,” I say seriously. “For what you did for Ellie. For saving her twice over. And for footing the bill, with Lylia.” House Maheras is charging a hefty sum, ten million US dollars, and the only person they’re accepting that from is my father, and strictly from his personal wealth,notthe wealth attached in any way to my mother. That I can’t pay him back is a stipulation in the agreement negotiated between my mother and her grandmother. It’s clearly not how they usually operate — Lylia made it sound like it was in their best interests to save every changeling they could — but more of a way to force my father to cough up some money, to make him feel some hurt for daring to steal one of their most precious daughters all those years ago. It may be barely anything in terms of Dad’s full fortune, but it’s still a significant amount.

He nods, meeting my eye for the first time. “Protecting her is the one thing my wolf got right, at least when it comes to anything regarding you. Congratulations. I can see now that she’s good for you.”

Lighting strikes across the sky, blindingly bright. I hear, more than see, my father take a step towards me, and his hand settles cautiously on my bare shoulder. “You’ve done well, Van.”

“Thank you.”

* * *

Mom finds me while I’m in the kitchen, stacking the dishwasher and cleaning up the mess from our early dinner before the fae spell. With all the additional guests, we’d ordered takeout from the one Chinese place on the island. Seth had collected it, taking my car to go and pick up the huge selection of stir fry, dumplings, wontons, and soups.

“Thank you for putting us up for the night,” Mom says softly as I hit theonbutton, the machine whirring to life a moment later. She’s wrapped in one of Lacey’s robes — I can tell from the scent of it — her own clothes sitting in the house across the vineyard. “I didn’t fancy the walk to the other house in the rain after my shower.”

I shrug. “It’s no problem. Do you want some tea? Ellie makes her own herbal blend; I think you’d like it. I can’t remember all the ingredients, but she can tell you the recipe tomorrow if you can’t work it out on your own.”

Mom rubs my back briefly with a sigh. “Tea sounds good, thank you darling.” Lighting flashes again, brighter than it has been in the past hour, and the thunder that quickly follows rattles the windows. “Goddess,” she hisses under her breath. “I hope your father comes back soon. I know he’s a strong wolf but I don’t like him out in this, not with the lightning strikes directly above us.”

“He needed to shift,” I say, wiping down the countertop. Even before speaking to him tonight I could tell that Dad needed to let his wolf loose; restless energy had been rolling off of him all afternoon. He was either on his feet or staring off into space, and I know from experience that his wolf would have been pawing for freedom. “I take it he didn’t feel comfortable shifting while on Maheras lands?”

“It’s less a matter of comfort and more of safety,” Mom replies bitterly. “You know they think so little of shifters, as —”

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