Page 56 of One Last Secret

“Shh. It’s all right. I’m here.”

I bury my head in his chest and allow him to hold me while I cry, relief and shame filling me in equal measure. I don’t recognize the woman I was a moment ago. Lisa may have deserved it, but to know that I’m capable of that kind of violence terrifies me.

You were smiling. Just like this.

I remember now. I remember the fight I had with Annie the night before she left. For thirty years, I remembered a sanitized version of that night where we had our short talk in front of the ocean and then I left for home alone. I’d blocked the fight from my mind.

Now I remember. Now I know exactly how much darkness rests in me.

“It’s my fault,” I whisper. “It’s all my fault.”

“Enough of that,” Sean says roughly. “None of this is your fault.”

I don’t respond. He doesn’t know what I’m talking about, and I don’t want to tell him. Let him think that I’m the good, noble woman he believes I am. At least for a while longer.

***

I sip my coffee and stifle the grimace that comes to my lips. Sean always makes his coffee too strong.

He sits next to me, his arm over my shoulders. We watch soberly as the paramedics lift the gurney that holds Evelyn Torres and carry it from the house. I shiver when they leave, and Sean squeezes my shoulder. She’s alive, but only just. One of the EMTs shares with me before he leaves that if she survives, she will face a long and hard road to what will likely never be a full recovery.

Reyes walks inside a moment later. She looks ten years older. She says something to the other officer in the building, and he nods and leaves.

She turns to us, but she doesn’t meet our eyes. “Miss Reinhardt and Mr. Fairfax will be seen this morning. I am absolutely certain they will be held without bond, so you don’t need to worry about them posting bail and coming after you.”

I nod, then ask the question I’m sure she’s dreading. “What took you so long?”

She presses her lips together and looks down. “The story Mr. O’Connell related to me seemed unbelievable. I sent units to Lisa’s apartment first when he told me you were there. I was… coming to arrest you. When I realized you had already fled the… had left the apartment, we came here.”

I don’t have the energy to be angry at her right now, but there’s accusation in my voice when I say, “Evelyn Torres nearly died because of that assumption.”

“Yes,” she says, her voice hollow. “When I am finished with my duties as it pertains to this investigation, I will tender my resignation. I know it’s worthless right now, but… I’m sorry.”

I don’t reply. She’s right. Her apology is worthless. After a moment, she clears her throat. “My preliminary conversation with Mr. Fairfax indicates that he hasn’t received proof of Mr. Holloway’s death. For the time being, we’re still treating it as a missing persons case. I’ve assigned detectives to follow up on the contact information Marcus provided me for the hitman. As for Celeste, we still have an APB out on her. She’s only been missing for twenty hours, so we’re confident that she hasn’t gone far. She might even come home soon.”

“You can’t know that,” Sean replied, a trace of contempt in his voice. “She could have hitchhiked to Tijuana by now. Or she could have jumped off a cliff in despair. You guys have mishandled this thing every step of the way. I’ve seen a number of clusterfucks in my day, but you’ve found new and inventive ways to fuck this cluster more royally than I’ve ever seen.”

My eyes widen as I remember the scrap of paper from the studio. “She’s alive.”

They both turn to look at me. “You know this for sure?” Reyes asks.

“No,” I admit, “but I think I know where to look for her.”

“Where?”

I get up and rush up the stairs to the studio again. My battered body screams at me for rest, but I ignore it once more. Soon, but not yet. Not until we find Celeste.

They follow me up the stairs. I look around the floor for the note, retracing my steps from the earlier fight.

“What is it, Mary?” Reyes asks. “What are you looking for?”

“A note,” I reply. “From Celeste. It looks like… there!”

I see the scrap of paper and pick it up, then read aloud. It’s not very encouraging.

“If I want to vanish, I think I’ll go to the second inlet, the one with all of the wildflowers just past the lighthouse. I’ll wait for a clear morning so I can see them shimmering in the sunlight reflecting off of the water. Then I’ll drift out to see and disappear in a pool of light.”

I look out the window. There’s no marine layer today. Not a cloud in the sky.

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