Page 38 of Locke

“It’s not how this is.”

“How is it then, Locke? Huh?”

“You’re not right, Hodge!” Before I can say more, he’s coming at me. His fist lands on my still healing ribs, and pain shoots through my body. I step back, trying to catch my breath.

“See that shit? He’s right. If you can’t handle your brother’s, you’re out!” Gunner roars.

“Fine. I’m out. Fuck this and fuck you,” Hodge snarls, pointing at me. I shake my head, knowing shit will come down later, but for now, I have work to do.

We leave the office, move down the stairs and head straight out to the bikes, ready to get this shit going. I’m ready to end that motherfucker.

Chapter 19

Kiki

He went. He went on the goddamn run just like I knew he would. I thought if I threw a big enough tantrum, he would stay back, but he didn’t. Of course, he didn’t. He’s a man. And men don’t listen.

I’m so on edge. I don’t want a repeat of what happened last time he left. I’m scared shitless that something worse could happen to them.

I watch Hodge as he throws back shot after shot, and it makes me wonder why he didn’t go, but I don’t have the balls to ask. Instead, I vent to Tina about how fucked up this is.

“I just worry about him,” I tell her.

“I know you do, but he has a good head on his shoulders, and he won’t let that shit happen again. You have to believe that.”

“I know, I do. It’s just scary to think about. You know? Anything could happen.”

“He’ll be fine,” Hodge grumbles listening in on our conversation.

“You don’t know that for sure. Everyone said he’d be fine the last time and look what happened to you guys.”

“And we’re fine, yeah?”

“Are you?” He blows out a breath, and that’s when Tina walks away. I walk over and sit next to him.

“I don’t know, Kiki. My head has been a little off since that shit happened. I feel like I should have seen it comin’. I should have stopped it, but there it just us and about twelve of them. It was fucked up,” he tells me. Locke hasn’t told me anything about that night.

“Twelve? And you expected to win that fight?”

“I don’t know, Kiki. I should have fuckin’ done more. I let my VP get fucked over. Then some bitch shot you. Fuck!” He roars as I reach over and grab his hand.

“I get it. You feel bad. You think there’s more you could have done. I feel the same way, Hodge. Maybe I didn’t try hard enough to warn you guys. Maybe there was more I could have done,” I confess as he turns to look at me.

“There wasn’t. We wouldn’t have listened to you, Kiki. As much as I love you, we wouldn’t have listened. We didn’t listen and look at what happened. It’s my fault. I was callin’ the shots that night,” he reveals.

“It was no one’s fault, Hodge. Spike is sneaky. He always has been. You did what you had to do. I’m just glad the guys got there when they did. Who the hell knows what would have happened to you, and I can’t lose you, Hodge.” He shifts on his stool before pulling me into a hug.

“You’re not losin’ me. I’m just a little fucked up right now.”

“I get that. Just don’t forget I’m here for you,” I whisper in his ear. He holds me against him for a long time, and I savor every second of this. It’s been too long since I’ve hugged my brother. Too long since we’ve talked like this, too.

“I’m proud of you, Kiki,” he says when he pulls away.

“For what?”

“Everything. Gettin’ away from him. Gettin’ here. Bein’ who you are. I’m just damn proud of you.” Now, a smile tugs across my face.

“Thank you, Hodge. I don’t think I hear that enough, and I doubt myself sometimes.”

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