Page 104 of Penalty Shots

"The truth? About what?"

"About the baby, Rina. About you being pregnant with my baby."

I drop my fork, and the sound is even louder than his. Heads turn in our direction because he isn't exactly being quiet.

"How did you—"

"Come on, Rina. You really think I wasn't going to find out? That was a really big deal. A really big deal. It would've changed everything. Absolutely everything."

I scoff. "I'm sorry, are you shaming me for not telling you I was pregnant with a baby on the day you got invited to NHL training camp? Your actual dream come true. I came to tell youthatday," I say, my voice rising in anger. "I came to tell you—even though I was scared. Even though I knew it was going to change things for us. But at the end of the day, Keelan, I couldn't take that from you. I couldn't take your shot at the pros away because I was having a baby. A baby that never came to be anyway, so what does it matter now?"

His chest heaves. "What does it mat—everything, Rina! Everything matters because of that. I would've gladly let go of that opportunity. I would've picked you."

"No," I shake my head. "You don't know that."

"I do," he says sternly. "I know that with everything that I am because I loved you, Rina, and I would've gladly given up that dream for another."

I'm still shaking my head.

"A life with you," he says, softer now.

I push my seat back and get up.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't do this."

"Rina, sit down. You haven't even touched your food."

"Don't tell me what to do. And don't sit there and pretend like you would've gladly done anything. Just admit that it would've been hard. Admit that the choice wasn't so cut and dry because we both know that at that age, nothing is. So stop pretending like it was the obvious choice—like I was the obvious choice. Because you had me, Keelan. I was there. I was with you. But hockey was always going to come first to you. Baby or no. Okay. So don't fucking pretend it was that easy. Nothing is that easy."

I grab my wallet, toss a wad of cash onto the table, and storm out. Keelan doesn't follow me. I don't hear him call out for me.

He just sits there as I walk away in tears, crushed, yet again, by the boy I could never have.

The only one who's ever truly had my heart. Even if only just to continuously devastate it.

"You're back early," Jenny says from her desk in the corner of my office.

"Hey, yeah. I just… I had a lot to catch up on."

"Well, I'm glad you're here because, oh my god, that indie bookstore fiasco. Gold, pure gold. Season ticket sales are through the roof."

"Mmhmm. Wow, that's… yeah, that's really great," I say, opening up my computer.

"Rina?" Jenny asks.

I look up at her.Not now. I don't need to break down now.

"What is it?" she pushes out from her desk and walks over to me. "Rina."

"Nothing," I sniff. She grabs a tissue from the box on Toby's desk and hands it to me.

"Honey, this isn't nothing."

I sniff again. "It's fine, Jenny. You don't have to do that. You don't have to be nice to me."

"Nice to you?" She scoffs. "Rina, you and I are way past pleasantries here. I'm serious. We were friends once."

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