Page 153 of Bratva Butcher

Whatever.

I knew my father. He would never hurt his children. Well, not seriously, anyway. He hurt us all the time when we got in the ring with him. But we usually deserved that.

Arturo reached out and clasped my chin with his fingers, pulling my face towards his. “I’m here if you need me,” he murmured, placing a soft kiss on my lips.

I smiled, taking comfort in his presence. I gave him a swift kiss back and then climbed through the hole, stepping into my father’s office.

Air filled my lungs as I took a deep breath in, preparing myself. The room was dark, the only light coming from the roaring fireplace he sat in front of. My father’s office was usually pristine. Not a single item out of place. Not a single speck of dust or dirt on any surface.

Key word…Usually.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think I just stepped into Lukyan’s bedroom, the place was in such disarray. It was the complete opposite of everything I knew my father to be. Even all the empty alcohol bottles that lay in a circle at his feet were out of character for him. Yeah, he drank, but not in excess like that.

“Father?” I stepped towards him slowly like I would if I was approaching a wild, skittish animal. “Father?” I tried again when he didn’t answer. His suit was crinkled and disheveled—another thing completely out of character for him.

He didn’t move. Didn’t say a word. Didn’t acknowledge me. It was like I wasn’t even there. Like he couldn’t see me. Couldn’t hear me.

“Father,” I whispered, pouring every ounce of emotion I was feeling into that one word, imploring him to hear me. Crouching at his side, I lay my hand lightly on his. The touch seemed to snap him out of whatever was holding him captive.

Bloodshot eyes moved to me. He frowned. One of his hands moved up to touch my hair. “Yekaterina…you’re really…here?” he rasped, voice thick, almost unrecognisable.

Sympathy tugged at my heart. “No, Father. It’s me, Illayana.”

I could have sworn relief flashed in his eyes. “Illayana. Yes. Of course.” He turned back to the flames, his voice and movements almost robotic in nature.

“What’s going on?” I asked, softly. “You’ve been in here for a while.”

“Have I?” He remained quiet for a moment like he was lost in his thoughts. He looked down in shame. “I’ve ruined everything,” he whispered softly.

The sadness in his voice… It caused my soul deep pain. “With Autumn?”

He gave me the barest form of a nod. “I don’t know what happened. I just…lost it.” He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he had done. Shame blazed in his eyes. “The way she looked at me… Oh, god.” He closed his eyes and clutched his chest as if he was being torn apart from the inside out.

My armour cracked. I’d never seen my father like that. I was ten years old when my mother died, and all I remembered from that time was his rage. It permeated the air around him. Surrounded him like some sort of protective shield, keeping everyone around him at arm’s length. Then, he just disappeared for two years to hunt down my mother’s killers. By the time he returned, he’d dealt with his demons.

At least, I thought he had. It was suddenly clear to me that he’d only buried them.

“Aleksandr told me what happened.” He said nothing, so much pain on his face that it hurt to look at him. “Why did you do it, Father? Why?”

His eyes landed on me. “I had to. Don’t you see, Illayana?I had to.She was getting too close.”

“Why is that such a bad thing?” I asked softly.

“I’mmarried,” he pressed, a tiny bit of fire returning in his eyes.

Time for some tough love.

“You’rewidowed.” He reared back as if I’d struck him. I kept going despite how hard I knew it was going to be. “I miss Mother so much. I think about her all the time. About all the things she’s missed and all the things she’sgoingto miss. I think about her smile. How her hugs were like the sun. Warm and comforting and light. I think about how happy she would be to know I’ve found someone who loves me, wholeheartedly, for me.” Taking a deep breath, I ignored the ache in my chest from her absence and continued. “I’malwaysgoing to miss her and wish she were here, but I learnt a long time ago that you can’t let the ache of loss stop you from living your life.”

He scoffed, shaking his head, and took a huge gulp of the vodka in his hands. “It’s not that easy.”

“I never said it was easy. In fact, it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced before, and I’ve been locked in a room with a bunch of men who wanted to rape me.”

He gave me a look that seemed to say, “Really? You justhadto bring that up right now?”

I bared my teeth in an innocent smile, laced with an ounce of cheekiness. “My point is, Father, there comes a time where you have to let go. Move on.Let someone else in.”

“I can’t,”he almost whined, like he wanted desperately to do just that, but something was holding him back, forbidding him from doing so.

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