Page 77 of Bratva Knight

“Ow!”

“Now we’re done,” she groaned, rolling back onto her back.

Bloody bitch.

She always had to get the last hit in, even if she lost.

I couldn’t help but smile, despite the pain coursing through my body. There was a lot I loved about my best friend. Her wild, crazy, somewhat erratic personality. Her unwavering loyalty. Her fierceness. But what I loved the most was her ability to be one-hundred percent herself. What you saw with her was what you got. Complete genuineness. If she was pissed off or upset with you, she had no problem letting you know it. Even if she knew she was being a tad bit irrational about it. Like then.

We laid sprawled out on the floor of the ring, both of us panting heavily and staring up at the ceiling.

“I'm sorry, you know? Sorry I kept it all from you.”

Illayana turned her head to look at me. “I know you are,” she murmured softly, that anger and fight from moments ago all but gone. “I know you are.” Her voice…

“But you still haven’t forgiven me, have you?”

“I’m not angry anymore.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

She sighed. She sat up and crossed her legs, facing me. I did the same and we stared at each other. Her hair was a mess, a splattering of bruises spreading out over her skin. I had a feeling that I didn’t look much better. She got a couple of really good shots in.

In my peripheral vision, I glimpsed Nikolai leading everyone away, trying to give us the space to talk without prying ears. The only ones who put up a fight where Illayana’s guards. They’d moved too far away for me to hear what they were saying, but I had a feeling it went a little something like this:

“Arturo said we couldn’t let her out of our sight.”

“She needs us to protect her.”

“Ow, why are you hurting me?”

That last one I knew for sure because Nikolai had one of the twins by the back of his neck and he was forcibly making him leave the warehouse.

Eventually it was just Illayana and I.

“I thought we were best friends—” she began.

“We are,” I insisted, cutting her off.

She shook her head. “No, we’re not. Best friends don’t keep somethingthisbig from each other. They don’t. You preferred to go through it all alone than call me. Why?” Tears glistened in her eyes. “Did you think I wouldn’t understand? That I wouldn’t be there for you when you needed me? What?”

“Illayana, I-its—” I couldn’t find the words. Not the right ones, anyway. Nothing I thought of seemed right, seemed sufficient to explain it all. But I had to try.

“In that moment, the only person I wanted was Nikolai. Of course I knew you’d come if I called. There was never any doubt in my mind about that. Not one. But…” My words broke off as that all too familiar pain burst inside of my chest, making it impossible to breathe. “In that moment, Nikolai was all I wanted. The only person I was willing to see. Take comfort from. Please, try to understand that.”

“I do.” She leant forward, placing her hand on mine. “I understand why, at the time, you couldn’t tell me. You were dealing with so much. Such loss.” She shook her head. “I can’t even imagine the pain. I am so, so sorry you had to go through that.”

I breathed out a small sigh of relief. We were going to be okay. We—

“What I don’t understand is why you didn’t come to meafter. It’s been two years, Tatiana.Two years, and you never said anything. Were you ever planning on telling me? If I didn’t walk in on that conversation with you and your dad, would you have taken this secret to your grave?”

“No!” I answered instantly, then frowned. Now that she asked the question, I wasn’t entirely sure. Would I have? It was true that I didn’t have any intention of telling her anytime soon, but I would have eventually…right?

Illayana smiled but it held no warmth. Only hurt and sadness. “I think we both know that isn’t true, don’t we?”

My mouth opened yet nothing came out. As much as it pained me to admit, she was right. There was never a scenario I’d played out in my head where I told her. I realised that I’d planned to avoid this conversation for as long as humanly possible. That—unintentionally—I’d planned to take this secret to my grave.

“I couldn’t talk about it, Illayana. I just…couldn’t.” Tears fell from my eyes and I didn’t even bother trying to hold them back.

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