Page 151 of Bratva Knight

I smiled, caressing the side of his face. “I love you, too.” Now was as good a time as any. “I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

I pulled out of his embrace and picked up my purse. He watched me, slightly confused, as I fished around inside it until I found what I was looking for. I offered it to him. He stiffened, his gaze whipping from me, to the sonogram, back to me. Back and forth, back and forth.

I waited patiently, letting him process the information however he needed. He was completely shell shocked. Like I had been. No surprise there, really.

“How-how-what—”

“You apparently have some very strong fucking swimmers. See this, here”—I pointed to the little thing that looked like a peanut—“This is baby number one. And this”—I pointed to the second little peanut—“is baby number two.”

He reared back as if I’d slapped him. In a way, I guess I had. It was just with startling information instead of my hand.

It had been quite a shock to me too, when I found out they were twins. I’d only really just come to terms with being pregnant when the doctor had dropped that little tidbit. After I left the hospital, I decided to book an appointment with my OB and see for myself if I actually was with child. They’d run a prenatal ultrasound and boom, there they were: two little blobs on the monitor.

“T-twins?” he stuttered. He hesitantly reached for the sonogram, like he was afraid it might disappear or something. He looked at it, running a finger lovingly over the surface. “Twins,” he repeated again, this time stronger, more certain. With confidence.

The shock morphed into happiness. His lips slowly curled into a big, beaming smile and he launched himself at me, encircling me in the tightest hug. “I promise things will be different this time, Tati. I promise I won’t let you down.” He placed a hand on my stomach. “I won’t letanyof you down.”

His eyes, so filled with love and tenderness, stared deeply into mine, and I knew without a shadow of a doubt he meant every single word.

He kissed me, softly at first, but like it always did with us, it ignited into something more.

Chapter Forty-Three

Nikolai Volkov

“Drivefaster,Nikolai,”Tatianapanted, kissing down the side of my neck.

I tried to keep my eyes from rolling in the back of my head, the feel of her lips on my skin making me groan.

The woman was going to be the absolute death of me. I dropped down a gear, shifting into third and stomped on the accelerator, zooming forward.

When I woke up this morning, the last thing I expected was for Tatiana to take me to our son’s grave. We hadn’t been there together since we laid him to rest.Ihadn’t been there since we laid him to rest.

I knew Tatiana went there constantly, but I could never work up the courage to.

Deep down, there was a part of me that felt like I didn’t deserve to go and see him. That I had no right, that it would be an insult to his memory. I hadn’t been there for him when he came into the world. What right did I have to disturb his afterlife just to make myself feel better?

Apart from that first night when I got home, when Aleksandr had pulled me from my car, I’d never let those feelings out, never allowed them to take me over. I just kept them locked away, pretending they weren’t there. If I didn’t think about it—abouthim—then it couldn’t hurt, right?

Tatiana’s words had done the one thing I’d been trying to avoid for the last two years.

“I brought your dad to come and visit you.”

“I’m here now, if you want to say goodbye to our son.”

I crumbled. All those thoughts and feelings I’d been trying desperately to ignore came rushing to the surface, and I had no choice but to feel them. It hurt. God, it hurt, so much that I didn’t think I’d survive it. I guess, when you finally let yourself feel emotions you’d been suppressing for years, they came back with force. With a vengeance.

I couldn’t say how long I ended up crying for. How long Tatiana sat there, comforting me. By the time I was done, though, I felt…lighter. Like a tiny bit of my soul had finally healed. I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed about crying in my woman’s arms. There was nothing more debilitating, more soul crushing than the loss of a child. I just finally let myself feel that loss in its entirety, with no restrictions. No restraints. No part of me holding back.

Then, for the second time in one day, she’d surprised the ever-loving fuck out of me by telling me she was pregnant.With twins.Holy fuck, had my world been completely and utterly rocked.

Once the shock had worn off, I realised Tatiana had been staring at me with this scared look in her eyes, almost like she was afraid of what I was going to say. Like she feared I’d react badly. As if that was possible.

The world had given me a second chance, the opportunity to learn from my past mistakes. To finally do things the right way. It was a blessing, a miracle, a gift.

Of course, I knew Tatiana would be freaking out about it. It explained so much of her behaviour in the days before. She must have found out at the hospital and had been coming to terms with it on her own first before telling me.

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