Page 13 of Bratva Knight

Argh, the whole thing still made me so raging fucking mad. I’d never pegged Nikolai as an idiot, but man he was really acting like one.

We’d been in a secret relationship for over a year when I found out I was pregnant. I’d been nervous as all hell to tell him, but it turned out all those nerves had been for no reason.

Nikolai was ecstatic when I told him. He’d actually dropped to his knees at my feet and kissed my belly, whispering nonsense to the baby in Russian, like it could understand him. He wanted to tell his family—and everyone else—the news, but I wasn’t ready. I still hadn’t worked up the guts to even tell Illayana that we’d been seeing each other. I needed time. Time to figure out what I was going to say, how I was going to say it. My best friend loved me, but I knew she was going to be pisssssed when I told her.

So, he reluctantly agreed to keep it quiet until I was ready. For five months, it had been easy to hide the pregnancy. I didn’t start to show until well after my first trimester, and then after that I just wore baggy clothes.Designerbaggy clothes, but baggy clothes nonetheless.

Then, one horrible afternoon, it all came crashing down. Nikolai accused me of cheating on him with Kurt, one of the Bratva soldiers I’d gone through training with. I had no idea where he got such a stupid fucking idea from, and he didn’t even really explain it either. He just burst through my front door, screaming at me and saying the most awful things.

“I bet the baby isn’t even mine, is it?” he’d hissed in my face, repulsion in his eyes.

Nikolai was the quiet, silent type, but when he was angry? Oh, boy. There was no calming him down, no talking to him.

I tried reasoning with him, tried telling him over and over again I had no idea what he was talking about. That I would never cheat on him, let alone with Kurt! But no matter what I said, he wouldn’t hear it. It was like his mind was already made up, like he had proof. Even though there was none!

“I bet the baby isn’t even mine, is it?”

Those words had played over in my head when he’d left. Once the befuddlement had dissipated, anger quickly stepped in. How fucking dare he? How dare he question my loyalty? Did he not know me at all? Didn’t fucking seem like it.

After Nikolai stormed out, I decided to go away for a while. I was so angry at him for being so fucking stupid. The fact that he wouldn’t accept any of my calls just pissed me off even more. He wouldn’t even give me the chance to talk, to find out why he thought I’d slept with Kurt. It was like he’d just written me off without letting me try to defend myself.

Nikolai was a very possessive guy. If another man even looked at me, he had his gun out and against his head before the dude could blink. Whatever had made him think I’d cheated on him had brought forth this cloud of anger that made it impossible for him to see reason. There was a small, tiny, insignificant part of me that understood. Because if the situation was reversed, I’d be the same. Worse, actually. But that didn’t excuse his behaviour, his words.

“I bet the baby isn’t even mine, is it?”

Once I came to stay with my aunt and uncle, I tried calling again. And again. And again. He ignored every single one. I’d texted, telling him he was being a fucking idiot and that I never slept with Kurt. He never responded. Eventually, I just gave up. I’d give birth to our son, get a DNA test and then shove it in his stupid fucking face. Then I’d make him grovel for the rest of his fucking life.

I pulled up at the hospital and quickly parked the car in the Emergency Bay. This constituted as an “emergency”, and if anyone tried to tell me otherwise, I’d stab them in the fucking throat.

Once I grabbed my baby bag, I quickly rushed inside, going right for the reception desk.

“Hi,” I greeted the older woman with the horn-rimmed glasses. “My name is Tatiana Andreeva. I’m here to see Dr Spendel.”

“Ah, yes. He told me you’d be coming. I’ll just grab a few of your details and then I’ll lead you right on through.”

After I answered her general questions and signed in, she picked herself up off her chair and hobbled to the door, opening it wide for me. I tried to get a grip on my nerves, but it was almost impossible as she led me through the hospital and past all the open exam rooms until she got to the one assigned to me. She pushed the curtain back, revealing a hospital bed, some monitors and one lonely chair in the corner. There was a TV coming down from the roof and some magazines sitting on the long table that ran against the wall.

“Okay, dear, take a seat and make yourself comfortable. Dr Spendel has ordered an ultrasound first, so we’ll get that done and then he’ll be in to see you. Do you need anything? Something to eat or drink?”

I shook my head, placing the baby bag on the bed. I was far too wound up to even think about eating. I’d most likely throw it up if I tried.

The woman, whose name badge read “Maureen”, gave me a reassuring smile. “Alright. If you need anything, don’t be afraid to push the ‘call’ button right there,” she said, pointing to the button. “One of the other nurses will come to help. The ultrasound tech shouldn’t be too long.”

I thanked her and she left, closing the curtain behind her.

With nothing to do but sit there and wait, I pulled out my phone and started flicking through Instagram, Tik Tok, Twitter. I had accounts for them all. Instagram was purely for posting pictures of my fashion designs or photo aesthetics. Tik Tok was for when I was bored and felt like a laugh. And Twitter? Well, I didn’t even really know how to use that one, to be honest.

It took nine minutes and thirty-seven seconds for the ultrasound tech to show up. By the time he’d gotten there, I was just a big ball of anxiety and stress. Baby V still hadn’t moved.

“Hello, Tatiana. I’m Bill. I’ll be conducting the ultrasound for you today.” He seemed pleasant enough, with a nice head of dark hair and a pretty smile, but I wasn’t in a particularly chatty mood, so I tried my best to not give my “resting bitch face” and lay down on the bed.

Bill didn’t ask me any questions as he squirted gel onto my exposed stomach. He moved the transducer through it in small circles before expanding wider. My heart was beating a mile a fucking minute. I clenched and unclenched my hands, anxiously waiting to hear what was going on. My palms were sweaty and my breathing had quickened to the point that I was panting. My body started to tremble.

It was stupid of me to come here alone. I should have called someone. My aunt or uncle. My dad. Nikolai.

I needed Nikolai.

Bill frowned at the screen, moving the ultrasound wand over my stomach in the same spot again and again. He clicked a few buttons on the machine, squinting hard as he continued to move the device. Something flashed across his face before he could mask it. It was so quick, I couldn’t figure out what it was.

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