Page 126 of Bratva Knight

Dominik stood in front of me, pointing a gun at my chest. “Hello, nephew,” he said, a victorious smile on his face. Something sharp pierced my neck and I grunted. My hand drifted upwards, fingers curling around what felt like a dart. I pulled it out and looked down at it.

What?

My whole world tilted, blurriness snaking into my vision. There was another bite of pain, then another. I slumped against the elevator wall, trying to figure out what was going on, trying to get my bearings, but my body started to go numb. Dizziness gripped me. I swayed on my feet, fumbling for my gun, but it was too late. Whatever was in that dart took me over. I fell forward, succumbing to the darkness.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Tatiana Andreeva

“Iappreciatewhatyou’retrying to do, Illayana, but it’s not going to work.”

“Oh, come on, you love Modern Family.”

She was right. I did. But not even one of my favourite television shows was going to help calm me down.

Nikolai was overdue. We should have heard something by that point, and the fact that we hadn’t meant something had gone wrong.

God, why had I convinced him to go on that stupid fucking mission? I should have let him stay home out of guilt and worry. At least he’d be alive. At least he’d be safe. He was likely being tortured, cut into tiny little pieces, and there was nothing I could do to save him. Pain lanced my heart and I rubbed my chest. I couldn’t take it. Couldn’t take not knowing. Couldn’t take living in a world where there was no Nikolai. I continued to pace back and forth in Illayana’s bedroom, unable to keep still.

“You’re going to wear a hole in my floor,” Illayana commented, her gaze fixed on the TV in front of her. She sat snuggled in her bed, a bowl of popcorn in her lap.

“How can you be so calm?” Nikolai was her brother. She should have been just as worried as me! Yet, she was sitting there acting like nothing was wrong.

“I’m taking the very wise advice someone gave me when I was spiralling out of control. ‘Don’t let your fear and worry consume you. Be strong for him.’ That’s what I’m doing. I’m being strong for Nikandfor my father. Trusting them. Having faith in them.”

“Who said that? Sounds fucking stupid,” I said, continuing to pace.

She gave me a deadpanned look. “Yousaid that, you idiot.”

“I did?” I went back in my mind, vaguely remembering saying something like that to her when she was freaking out about her father. I really should have taken my own advice, but I couldn’t. I was filled with all this unbearable, restless energy, with no way to get rid of it.

Usually, when I was feeling like this, I would go for a run. But I promised Nikolai I wouldn’t do anything that put me in danger. Not thatIcounted running as a dangerous activity. But I knewhedid.

Please, God, let him be okay.

After all our struggles, all our heartbreak, we were finally back together. We might not have had the “official” talk yet, but for all intents and purposes, we were together. He was mine and I was his. I didn’t think it was possible, but I’d finally put the past behind me. I’d finally found a way to not only move on, but forgive him for what happened. Especially after Illayana told me about what he said right before he left.Hisevents of that night.

I’d never given him the opportunity to talk about it before. In the beginning, I was hurting too much to ever hear his side. And then, as more time went on, I just didn’t want to think about it all. So…I never asked.

Guilt had hit me hard when she told me about how he collapsed into Aleksandr’s arms, screaming and sobbing for the pain to stop. It hit me harder when I realised that he hadneverbeen able to talk about it with anyone. That for the last two years, he’d been keeping all his emotions from that night bottled up because I had made him promise not to tell a single soul.

I at least had my father to help support me during those first few months. Those months where I wanted to end my life just to be with my son. Nikolai had no one. He had to deal with it all on his own. I had let my grief swallow me whole, ignoring the fact that he had been grieving too.

In truth, I didn’t deserve him. Not really. Even after I cut him out and kept him at a distance, made him deal with that pain all alone, with no one to confide in, he still put me first…in everything. In every way. The man had proved time and time again that he loved me. Would do anything for me. Protect me at all costs.

The knight I had been dreaming of since I was a little girl really had been right in front of me all along. I had just been too blinded by pain and resentment to see that.

But I saw it now.

“Alright, you’re driving me fucking crazy. Will you cut it out?!” Illayana snapped, throwing popcorn at me.

“I can’t help it,” I almost whined, burying my face in my palms.

“Jesus, I’ve never seen you like this. You reallydolove him, don’t you?”

I peeked through my fingers to look at her. Sympathy shone in her eyes. It felt a little weird talking about it with her, considering how long I’d been hiding that secret from her. But I was so glad everything was out in the open. Turns out, getting kidnapped by Franco had been the best thing that could have happened for our friendship.

Who would have thought? Not me. That’s for damn sure.

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