Page 35 of Forced Marriage Vows

I can scarcely breathe as the memory of it clouds my senses. I clutch my chest, trying to breathe normally. After a couple more tries, I’m throwing the covers to the side and getting to my feet.

I need to get out of here.

I feel claustrophobic, caged in. It’s the dead of the night and everything is heightened somehow. I manage to make it to Mikhail’s room and I only need to knock once before he’s opening the door.

“Anastasia,” he frowns, his eyes roaming over my face.

“I need air,” I tell him desperately, clutching my chest.

He lurches into action without hesitation, stepping out of his bedroom. He places a hand on my arm. His touch is featherlight and yet I manage to feel it all the way down to my toes. It anchors me somehow, helps me to remember that this is reality. The man in my dreams can’t harm me.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Mikhail murmurs softly. “Just breathe.”

He’s leading me toward the door to his house. We step out and head for a flight of stairs. There’s a door marked “roof,” and Mikhail opens it. We step out into the night and I finally inhale a lungful of air as the cold washes over me.

Mikhail doesn’t say anything as I step closer to the edge of the building. I place my hand on the railing as I gaze at the night sky, feeling my breathing return to normal. He settles down beside me and neither of us speaks for the longest moment.

“I’m sorry,” I feel the need to apologize. “I shouldn’t have woken you up.”

Usually, I’m able to calm myself down. But I think what made the nightmare worse was that I was in such an unfamiliar environment. If I had been in my space, I would have calmed down much easier.

“You don’t need to apologize, Anastasia. I wasn’t asleep. And even if I was, that doesn’t matter. You were in pain.”

“I was having a panic attack,” I correct. “I get them sometimes.”

I glance sideways and he has on a pensive look on his face as he considers my words.

“What triggers them?” he asks.

It feels almost embarrassing to be talking to him about this, but I do anyway.

“A dream,” I reply. “A dream that feels a lot like a memory. But I don’t remember anything.”

“What happens in the dream?”

“There’s a man and he’s choking a woman on a table. I’m watching as he chokes her to death and I can’t do anything about it. I can’t even breathe. It’s a terrifying sight, watching someone die.”

Mikhail doesn’t say anything for a long moment. When I look at him, his fists are clenched and there’s a simmering rage in his eyes.

“What is it?” I question.

He blinks and the expression clears. “Nothing,solnyshko. How long have you been having the nightmares?”

I shrug. “A pretty long time. It’s not usually that bad,” I assure him.

“And you can never see his face?”

“No. Why? You sound like you want to find the man,” I say, lightly teasing.

“I want to destroy anything that causes you pain,” he says, and the fierceness in that statement takes my breath away.

“Careful, Morozova. Your psychopathy is showing.”

The tense moment breaks and he chuckles. “You can come up here anytime. And after the wedding, I’ll let you go anywhere you want. This is all just a precaution to keep you safe.”

“So you keep telling me,” I say on a soft sigh. It’s silent for a couple of seconds before I speak again. “Do you know if Coda’s okay?”

I’ve been meaning to ask but it never seemed to be the right moment. I’m sure he’s worried sick, probably blaming himself for failing to protect me.

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