Page 70 of Faking the Shot

Her aunt winced. “I’m not sure that’s the godly way to go about things.”

The longer it went on, the more she was inclined to agree. “Well, it’s working for him, and for me, so—”

“Is it? Is it really?” Her aunt’s expression softened. “Come on, Ainsley. I’ve known you since you were a little girl. You don’t need to pretend with me.”

She sighed. “It’s not been easy. He’s so much more than just a jock.” Caring, compassionate, patient, smart. “I thought I could compartmentalize this, but it’s getting really hard.”

“You like him.”

“Of course I do. But just because I like him doesn’t mean there can be a future there.”

“Why not?”

Because all the men she’d known—apart from Benson—had proved false, one way or another, Aunty Win’s husband key among them. But saying that felt too difficult. So she shrugged instead. “I guess I find it really hard to trust a man. All of them have let me down.”

“Ah, now that’s the real issue, isn’t it?”

That. And after Baden used her, she’d soon realized guys wanted to take advantage of her, so she needed to play the game better than they did. That’s what her counselor had said Ainsley did, anyway. But some things were best left in the past, best to not focus on, especially if a girl had other more interesting things demanding her time.

Her aunt nodded, as if she recognized Ainsley’s reluctance to share more. “So, how about your TV show? How is that going?”

It was funny how Zac had a similar ability to her aunt in pulling out the truth.

“I just don’t know. Like, I’m so grateful to be employed and to have a job, but I still have these questions about whether this is what I want my career to look like.” She shared a little bit about what Diana had said yesterday. “See, that reminded me that there is a place for real stories, even if they’re wrapped up a little more tightly in pink bows. It doesn’t make them wrong.”

“Absolutely not.”

“But I don’t know that this is what I want to do forever.”

“And that’s fair enough. Although I do think you could play Abigail inAs The Heart Drawsforever. Let me clarify that: I think the producers of that show would be happy for you to play Abigail forever.”

Ugh. She couldn’t imagine that. Yes, she could imagine the producers wanting her to play that role for as long as it suited them, but it didn’t suit her anymore.

“Call me crazy, but I’m just concerned about what this means for people who only ever see me in these kinds of romantic movies. Like, is it feeding a wrong idea about what romance and love means?”

Her aunt’s upturned lips held wryness. “Ainsley, you can’t determine what other people watch. That’s on them. And you’re right, if people feed themselves a certain kind of fantasy all the time, then that can fuel unrealistic expectations. But again, that’s not your responsibility.”

She might be nearly thirty, but she felt like a little girl as she asked, “What is?”

“Your responsibility is to do what you feel God is wanting you to do.”

She nodded, lowered her gaze to the farmhouse kitchen table Aunty Win used for everything from baking to painting to eating at. “I’m trying to follow His lead. But I can’t help but also feel ungrateful to even be talking like this. I know that Mom and Dad sacrificed so much, and they’ve supported me so much. So to turn my back on what I’ve achieved feels like a slap in the face.”

“You just said the key word. Theysupportedyou. They still support you, Ainsley. And, it might not be my place to say, but I feel like they’ve had concerns over some of the control your agent has had over you.”

“Rosie’s done her best for me.”

“But is it the best for you? What do you feel like God is saying?”

That sounded like something Zac had said a couple of weeks ago.

“I’m not sure.”

“Then I’ll be praying that God makes His plans plain.”

Now that definitely sounded like something that Zac had prayed for her about. “Thank you.”

“And you know, sometimes you won’t get an answer in a storm or a bolt of lightning. Sometimes it comes as a whisper. And sometimes it’s like a heart inclination that shifts gently, like a shoe that used to fit that no longer does. You’re not going to be playing Abigail forever.”

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