Page 47 of Faking the Shot

“Right? And I’m not one to believe a whole lot of hype, I don’t even believe half of what my agent tells me, but there are alotof fans out there who really want the show to continue as it has always done, and I just don’t know if I want to do this forever.” She said that last bit in a whisper, like her co-stars could hear.

“Shows don’t go on forever.”

“I know. And that’s the other side of it. It’s paying work. And there are plenty of people who would kill to have my job. And Iamgrateful for it, it’s just… it’s just sometimes I think I could be doing other things.”

“Like what?”

She bit her lip. Glanced at her folded hands. Peeked back at him. “Okay, you have to promise not to say anything to anyone.”

“I promise not to post this on my socials.”

“Ooh, that reminds me. We should probably talk about becoming Instagram official one day.”

Huh?

“But that’s a sidetrack. I have to do better at focusing.”

He’d help her refocus, then. “What other things would you do if you could do anything?”

A long sigh escaped her. “For a while now I’ve felt these tugs to do more, to be more, to have my life and my career matter more than just providing innocent escapes into what’s basically a rose-tinted romantic fantasy. And I know there’s nothing wrong with those shows, but I feel like if that’s all I ever portray, it sends a wrong message to those people out there who watch me and think that’s what life is all about, and that I think that too.”

Good point. Which was why he and his agent were so careful about which companies Zac associated with. The brands he partnered with emphasized clean eating, sports nutrition, sharp suits and sharper cars. Things he cared about, that he believed in, because it went to the essence of who he was. “You feel like you’ve become branded this way.”

“Exactly! See, I know life can be real and scary and hard and even awful, but my movies don’t show that. So it just perpetuates this bubble that’s basically an alternative reality. So when these little girls grow up thinking that all you need to do is be skinny, look pretty, leave your big city life and show up in a small town and snap your fingers and there’s your man who will make you happy, well, I’m basically lying to them, because I don’t think life works like that.”

If only some of those article writers who had mocked Ainsley for exactly that could hear her now. “Most people can figure out the difference between fact and fiction, though,” he pointed out gently.

“Yes, but it just reinforces what you said before about how I’ve been branded. And the fact I’m now associated with so many of those kinds of movies means I’m helping perpetuate the myth that a woman needs a man to be happy, and that finding Mr. Right means you’ll live happily ever after. So anyway, long story short, I’ve been feeling these inklings to do something really different, and what I’d really like to do is a movie about the effects of domestic violence.”

“Wow.”

“See? That’s whateveryonewould say if I was to do that. Because it’s not the sweet little unicorns and rainbows type of show that everyone associates with me. My brother is always at me about the fact that I’ve been typecast, I’ve let my agent be this kind of Rasputin figure in my life, controlling everything, and sometimes, sometimes,” she whispered, “I feel like he’s right.”

She exhaled shakily, then buried her face in one of her hands, as he sat, stunned. He had no words. None. He’d wanted truth, but he strongly suspected she had just exploded the honesty bomb and was regretting it. What should he do? She didn’t want a hug.Hey God, what do I say here? Please help her.

Then realized those were exactly the words he should say. He reached across the table and gently grasped her other hand. “I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine your dilemma, feeling like you can’t be honest about what you want to do because your role affects so many others.”

Tears streaked her makeup. “Sorry for breaking down.”

“Don’t you dare apologize for being real. How long has it been since you’ve said any of that?”

“I don’t think I’veeversaid any of that.”

Warmth filled his chest. “Well, thank you for trusting me enough to be honest with me.”

She wiped under her eyes. “You’re safe. I sensed that the first time we met. And I think it helps that you don’t know me so well and you haven’t been invested in my career like my parents or other people in the industry have.”

Like Cassie. Whose family’s ranch likely depended onAs The Heart Drawsto contribute to its bottom line. Yeah, this was awkward. “I don’t have any answers, but we both know Someone who does.”

“Who?”

He pointed upward, just as Chris had.

She blinked at him, swiped away a tear. “Would you pray for me?”

“Sure.” He’d pray for her each night until she got her answer.

But the way she smiled then ducked her head and gripped his hand, suggested she wanted him to pray for her now. Oh boy. Okay.Hey God, that helping thing? Help me pray the right words.

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